WHERE ARE YOU?

It is stupid how I feeel.
I should feel great. Nothing is the matter.
My health feeels healthy.
But I miss certain things and people and I have an abundance of GUILT AND REGRET!!
and no one to talk to. and even if I did have a person who was interested in hearing me I don't know if I'd be able to express these complicated things.

whatever. I can't have it all.
and this blog can't even handle it.

Today should be fun. Remember I am going to a party.

I always feel like i have no friends. But I actually have a lot of friends.
But there is this ONE relationship that seems to over shadow the rest.
its too complicated. and its ALL MY FAULT!!
ALWAYS MY FAULT!

I am supposed to just be a good, quiet, little girl.
I may get stoned early on this day.

FOR ONCE I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO COME TO
ME!!! why must I always seek?

Last night in my dreams I was even mad and frustrated.
how was your dreams?
was I in them?
I bet I was.

I don't like that I woke up feeling incomplete.
whatever. this means nothing.
viva la Saturday.