Tuesday, July 31, 2007

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord...

FUCK! I just love this song. everyone does.
the video is a little boring. maybe?

Monday, July 30, 2007

all squared away

i pretty much hung with my gma all day today.
it was fine.
this is a busy week for me.
sons birthday and all that.
i ordered his cake today.
the bakery people were very nice.
and here is my horoscope and maybe yours if you are a scorpio like me:
The wonderful thing about your imagination is that it can take you places in your mind that don't exist yet. Your creativity can help you feel more powerful, freer and happier than reality may allow. But the bad thing about your imagination is that it can seize upon one tiny fear and spin out all sorts of scary scenarios. Control this 'stinking thinking' today by not letting yourself get too far ahead. Don't worry about what could be -- just focus on enjoying what is.

but thats just for fun.

i bought straws.

now i need a few umbrellas

Sunday, July 29, 2007

excuse me? what was that?

OH YEAH just SO YOU KNOW there was NO music in church today
so that was a little fucking stupid and a little fucking odd.
and dull as fucking hell.
just like this blog is about to become.
dull with a big D.
enjoy the hype while you can.
I am so burnt out.
tomorrow I wont even be around.
too bad we cant like get together for some fucking ice tea or lemonade.
and oh lordinheaven I had the best piece of MANGO yesterday.
and now I really need more MANGO.
and I need more straws.
I like straws.
see ya around.


its true that I am not flawless. personally i feel that my ass is kinda big for my standards.
does that make any sense?
does any of this make any sense to any of you?
because its MY life and not even I can make any sense of it.
its sounds like some of you are experts.
did you know that I have a sweet son who hates sponge bob.
he hates him!!! he wants to KILLL HIM!
i hate him too.
I am somebodys mother.
I have to focus on my son.
this is effecting him.
and maybe my ass.
I have been trying to skip my midnight snacks.
it helps that I am sleeping better at night.
hopefully I dont get stabbed in the chest in the middle of my slumber.
should I go to a softball game tonight?
i dont think I should cause I am afraid of the evil world.

Saturday, July 28, 2007


i pretty much had a nice day.
tomorrow should be ok too.
hopefully I dont run into any nut jobs on the street and have to pull out my street skills and fuck someones head up all over the fucking hard concrete.
i am fucking kidding.
I am going to church w my gramma and maybe I will pick some dandelions.
I am as harmless as a little lamb.
the other day I saw some old dudes fight in a trader joes parking lot!
water bottles were thrown.
earlier I saw them inside arguing about TACO BELL vs. TRADER JOES stuff
it was funny.
and scary.
has anyone ever sent you a suicide email?
that would be something I would like to see.
wouldnt you?
lets not be all serious and crazy all the time.
shall we?
I just want to continue being happy.
this blog sshould just shut the fuck up already.
as should you.

am i just retarded or am I overjoyed?

I have a some art inked into my skin on my lower back.
I got it about exactly 7 yrs ago.
its ok. still looks very vibrant and fresh.
and today ONCE AGAIN someone was shocked when I told them my age.
everyone always thinks I am 20 or 21.
they are probably just being polite, and thats ok too.
this girl and getting married next week.
honeymoon in MAUI!
and she is having reception at this one place that my MOM used to work at.
a hotel.
a place I hung out at A LOT.
madonna TOO! madonna once did cart wheels all around the pool in a dress and she had NO underwear on!
just like paris and brit brit and that other girl.
anywyas! I hung out there TOOO and i was like YOUNG and one time my dad BEAT THE FUCKING HOLYSHIT OUT OF MY MOTHER right infront of my sad young eyes.
he pounded on her. it started in her office which was directly behind the bar BUT then it led into the bar area and uh maybe I dont remember anymore of it or maybe I am gettitn bored of the subject. its all very fuzzy. and I havent really thought about it for awhile.
and you know how some situations kinda start running into one big situation and then you get all confused and then you say WHATEVER.
do youknow MAN!?
in the end all her clothing had all been ripped to shreds. pieces hanging off of her. makeup running down her face.
but the poinT is this nice girl Jesse is having her wedding reception there and I was like OH COOL.
drink a drink for me.
and now I would like to move on with my life.
I LIKE how I sit around in my sweaty wet gym clothes for awhile
it makes me cold all cold and goosebumpy and then when I take a shower the hot water BURNS the fuck out of my skin.
I like that.
I also like that my sleep has recently improved.
when I lay down and close my eyes I feel so cozy and comfy inmyself that I drift softly away to dreamland.
and last nights dream was a dilly.

Friday, July 27, 2007



i should just post already.
things have been very exciting.
watching someone try their hardest to hurt someone can be interesting and educational.
I personally dont wish to hurt anyone,
I swear.
thankfully for me I do believe in the friends that I have and the compassion I have in my heart.
compassion is the key.
i shouldnt have tried to be a bitch over on HER blog about the dumb things BUT I guess I was mad.
I was mad that she emailed me some bullshit email telling ME that maybe I have a learning disability.
whchi yma eb teh cesa ereh. but who is SHE to say?
i mean HA HA and oh.
but I NEVER EVER EVER thought it would go to this level of extremes!
I bet it could get even better.
maybe she can whip up some more fantasies and back family stories for us all to enjoy!
I have a few of my own.
I am very fucked up YES but I do believe that I have my ass covered so to speak because people love me.
so anyone who thinks they can hurt ME is very wrong.
its laughable.
but I really would not like to dwell on this.
I could go back over all of it and correct her many MANY mistakes.
i know the facts and I know that I am safe.
and I am happy.
happy with my life.
and GUESS WHAT!? I help make the few people IN my life that I CARE about happy too.
people really do like me.
I dont know why exactly
and if you were around me you would end up loving me
and everyone knows that to be true.
unless you for some reason resent me for being me.
and oh yes I am a sociopath.
so freakin what? you obviously are too.
take it as a compliment the way I do.

oh and one more thing.
i do know love.
I know how much I love my son.
and how I could never leave him. not ever.
I know a mothers love because I am a mother.
the one true love.

I ahve laundry to fold.
and you probably have some fucking up to do.
and credibility to est.
maybe standing in some lines? or paperwork to fill out?
just do anything but worry about me.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I don't really know her, I only know her name

me and tim
Our 7th anniversary is next month. we have been together for a total of 12 YEARS.
I was 16 and he was 19 and WE REALLLY HIT IT OFF!
imagine me at 16! one time he said he had never met anyone as happy as me.
he was a cop in the USAF.
now he is a BIG BOSS MAN at a local CHEVY car dealership.
so basically we are in THE MOB.
what else?
he can take guns apart and clean them and put them back together again and he can fix things and he rubs my feet whenever I ask because I keep them really nice and clean.
I owe TIM a lot.
he has carried me on his back and i am very lucky to have him and he loves me and I love him.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


i love the people who are always trying to get me involved in their business.
like pyramid scams.
sometimes it sounds like a good plan and I am like SIGN me UP! but usually I say no thanks.
I SAW hARRY POTTER, and I got a little drowsy.
I almost fell off an elliptical machine today in the 24 hour fitness that I frequent
just flipping to page 85 of my JANE magazine got my hands and feet all discombobulated. and I dropped the JANE and almost broke my ankle, knee and face.
I felt stupid so I turned to the nice 38D lady next to me and let her know that I was going to KILL MYSELF
she asked me what I was trying to do and I told her THAT IT WAS ALL VERY OBVIOUS.
there was an article about a " freakish eating disorder"
sounds interesting. may be worth a try?
well needless to say I just said FUCK IT and didnt even bother picking up the stupid magazine after it dropped to the floor.
and another thing
david letterman has been on TOP of his game so CHECK out his SHOW. cause he is my DADDY.
carrrie callled me a ho.
and then I callled her a fucking cunt.
I always feel bad for someoddreason after dropping the C word in such a fashion.
I have no style.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

a heart of gold/stone

this summer on the grass
blogging is pathetic.
and I am going to church because I am a good girl like that and I enjoy A game of blackjack.
HEY there is a tiny, friendly bunny rabbit in my cup sayin goodmorning to me. goodmorning mr. tiny friendly bunny rabbit. youre cute.
I dreamt about a baby black bear and its momma last night.
I am so young and restless. like the soap.
after churchy poo I plan on making me some COCKtails, with RUM. cause I live on a magical pirateship.
did ya notice how I cut my blogroll in half? yes you did.
just cause I felt like showin the internet WHO IS BOSS.
I am boss.
I probably wont post again until SUMMER IS OVER BECAUSE I WANT IT TO APPPEAR that I have better shit to do.
but I actualllllly DO in FACT have better shit to do.
real life.
which is time consuming enough.
do you know what it takes to BE ME!?
today I am having company over for burgers and weiners and jello.
anything else?
only that the VILLAGE people were playing a GIG down the street from me and I could smell the queer in the air.
so go blow yourself you talentless fraud and dont be a fucking crybaby cause it makes me blush.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

cause um I dont remember oh well nevermind

my legs are scarred and bruised and scraped.
like a lady.
I saw cool stuff in my own damn town today. like whoa.
a meduim opened up shop here in town and i need to spend some money on her so I can recieve my fucking messages for once in my fucking life.
and NOW I wanna own a dress shoppe. i feel the URGE.
please. please.
and I now have a court date for august 2oth @ 8 thirty am so I GUESS i have to miss my cycling class that day.
unfair, shit.
i will be talking to A JUDGE.
I will prezent my CASE.
should I go all private too??????
no way because that is gay all day.
because I say.
but so is this.
its not really fun really.
all this.
or it is.

notice how I have a flickr account!

Monday, July 16, 2007

private prop.

ants drink too much soda and are tiny & i hate their hyper attitudes.
but me I made some very nice summer dishes these past two days.
Without even TRYING they like JUST HAPPPENED.
ok. I will tell you about only ONE of them.
one was a medium sized grilled turkey salad w/ frsh lettuce from little BONNIE and Jr.'s garden
along w cucumbers, dried cranberries and ranch dressing.
viola thats a dinner.
no pictures though
because I dont walk 'round with my camera up my asshole all day fuckn day long like some of you.
thats gross.
lunches are fun to put together too.
and thats my life.
my gramma commented that I am very tan.
she is obviously very jealous.
and I made a nice comment on a ladies FACE to the lady and her face the other day but then I realized that she looked like shit right afterwards. funny huh.
the tree
example is not one way to teach something its the ONLY WAY
or something like that
and oh yea kiddo
I broke out my humidor thingy and bought some appples EARLY yesterday morning.
so I am all set up. thannks.
now I have to go so I can start my day that guarantees to includes a super FUNtime in a cycling class
so I can be fit
then I have to go to traffic school ONLINE and
then I am going to see abput doing some community service in PLACE of paying a large fine.
fuck paying money for speeding I will serve soup to the homeless ALL DAY LONG instead.
I bet that wont work out the way I want CUZ SOME slut will be on the other end of the phone w/ me and she will be a bitch and she will say no. and then she will take my credit card information.
fuck I ahte you.

Friday, July 13, 2007


the story of me just gets more and more interesting.
just kidding.
i just have not felt like blogging at ALL because of all the HOES but some of you actually DO inspire me.
I said some of you. some of you are the coolest and most AWESOME and sum of you suck hard and bad.
SOME of you humans make my life so fucking difficult.
I will leave you to believe what you will.
oh great perfect
today is friday the 13th
I am already feeling lucky.
some shit has been going down here in CHINA TOWN.
but I actually dont live in or near china town so that makes NO sense and is dumb
I am so DUMB
and wonderful.
and lately when I am speaking I get my words all JUMBLED and I say the OPPPOSITE of what I MEAN~!!!!!
and I AHTE cleaning bathrooms. I HATE HATE HATE IT.
i know how I throw around the word HATE a lot but I know this truth to be true inside my HEART
its just getting old now so I should let the hate go and learn to love everythng about cleaning bathrooms.
I used to clean my boyfriends DORM bathroom that he shared w 3 or MORE other dudes and it was sick and I wore gloves.
I think
I fukcing better have.
i know I used strong combos of chemicals.
and then they would be like
oh that little highschool girl that lives here.
and then they would BE FUCKING ASSHOLE JERKS TO ME! I guess that means they liked me.
elementary but sweet.
but anywhoho
notice how everything is either little or big.
sometimes medium sized.
i hope the weather is the way I want.
and fuck off to some nature
I am bouncing off to eat a light breakfast.

Monday, July 09, 2007

different houses have different smells

you know WHEN you start a post with it its goonnnna be a GOOOD fuckin one moth fuckas.
and yes I just called everyone moth fuckers.
a person that fucks moths.
BUT YOU KNOW when like you are stuck doing things that you dont really want to do but you have to because thats what you do.
you know? you know!! you know.
like posting a post.
like talking.
like church.
like eating dinner.
well I BAILED out of church on SUNDAY because I AM a mean and scary person.
? no.
I tried and thats wrong to say.
YOU dont know the WHOLE story so you can just STOP what you are doing right there and now.
i bombed the church. sorry everyone, it was horrific of me
i know
I was there.
then the ants came and it got really really messy. just forget it.

I dreamt of showering a nice shower in a strange shower last night.
I was getting ready.
for where? I forget.
BUT I was like YES HERE I AM showering, AND THIS IS GREAT.
nothing spectacular just your basic water and soap bathtub type shower.
maybe it smelled good.
in my dream.
do you think that could actually be my REAL life happening then and NOW I am dreaming in that LIFE.
I have said this before.
everyone has.
its not THAT amazing to think but still it could be tru dat yo word to your mother.
let it sink in for awhile.
i think I was traveling.

so YES TRANSFORMERS was very good and I laughed the loudest and the mostest.
and once again thats nothing special.
I am not saying that I am anything special
i want to be thinner.
in real time I just thoroughly sanitized my bong.
chew on that.

Saturday, July 07, 2007


i woke up this morning at 7:50am and I was at the gym by 8:00am
and I even brushed my teeth and washed my face.
I live close to the gym and I am very fast.
I had to make it.
then i went to the bank where I had to wait in an enormous line that was backed up all the way to Chicago.
then I went to the grocery store where I bought some ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM, POMEGRANATE Lemonade, sugar cones, eggs, milk, A&W root beer, 7up, a variety of cheeses, frozen juices, white bread, 2 frozen california pizza kitchen pizzas, a big box of Honey Nut CHeerios, hand soap, strawberries, and bananas.
I thinks that is all. & now I remember that I meant to go next dooor to RITE AID so I could pcik up some cheap sunscreen.
darn it.
I wonder if I forgot anything else.
I wonder if I remembered my purchases correctly.
wait! I bought a bag of potatoes too!
I browsed the chip section but decided I am better off without.
dont you just LOVE grocery shopping?!

Friday, July 06, 2007

cause like I cant quit you baby

and yep like how i spelled opened with two n's?
I knew it was wrong while doing it but figured WHY NOT?! LETS DO IT!
it was not of any importance whatsoever AT ALL.
it is nothing. its bullshit.
but uhYEAH it is scary to think of what and WHO reads your blog.
some lonely maniacs.
thats enough to make anybody ponder
i should quit my blog too.
maybe my blog brings me down also.
but maybe my blog doesnt really do anything to me at all.
maybe I need to QUIT everything else that drains me.
quit somethings and start somethings.
sounds nice.
but what am I talking about?
oh yes i do things wrong on purpose.
thats what I am saying.

adn I feel like its too stupidhot to go outside but I will anyways.
and I hate when I think of a better way to put things after I already put them out there.
there is no point.
stick w that.

when you speak to me its a song and I know what to say

so anyways.
i need some music on.
soemtimes I feel as if i could eat and eat and eat and never be full.
I bet there is a PILL out there to remedy that.
I am going to have an egghunt.
should I get a bird? yes.
I want a bird. mostly I want a bird cage.

my coffeee machine is a retard.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

simple like that

the little dog lost its little mind during the firework explosions and it really pissed me off
the whole ordeal was very emotional.
I cant believe I even let that dog in my backyard.
what was I thinking? I shoudl KNOW better tahn to do something like that!
but I didnt want it to get hit by a stupid car and I thought it was my neighbors, but it wasnt.
at one point little dog had ants all over it, so I had to brush them all off.
she also barked A lOT!
i was all SshhHhhhh little dog all dAY long yesterday
and Drew got very upset in the end when we had to say goodbye to the little dog.
that little dog is a city dog.
BUT 4th of july wasnt totally ruined.
every fourth of july is nice and fine. right?
I could say the little dog added a little edge.
I just wanted to clear up that situation but i know its not all that clear cause I dont explain things that thoroughly enough.
or plenty.

something is wrong with my EMAIL and I am too lazy/dumb to deal with FIXING it.
shoot me.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

that virtual insanity is what it is

the whole time I was in the gym this morning I was concentrating on GUACAMOLE
i have a disorder.
and a little dog wanderer up to my front porch at dusk yesterday so I put HER in my backyard.
I think SHE is a chiwawa.
to day i will come up with the most perfect name.
finders keepers losers weepers.
happy fourth of july.
dont be scared.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


1.i think that you have lost your mind.
lets all go find some hope together.
2.my ankles and feeet sometimes start to hurt really hecka bad when I am layin it down in TURBOKICKBOXING but I just barrel through cause I am fucokniing TUFF and shit.
am I tough?
3.I have dishes to do.
4.maybe I will meet my friend JANET for an iced coffeee later today i am not sure. i hope so. I will call her right now. yes. we are meeting.
5.she tagged me w this eight random facts thing but I am not sure I know how to play. I would usually ignore such a request but I feel obligations towards her.
and I guess I have to tag some more people too? who?
6.she is the reason why I started this blog.
thanks a lot janet.
you can go ahead and thank her too READERS.
7.i feel as if I dont know 8 things about anything.
8.I dropped out of high school early my senior yr
but I did have a fun graduation party anyways.
janet was there. i bet she forgot all about it.
she probably wasnt even there.
maybe I made it up in my head.
it was a long time ago.

ok so I tag Carrie, Robert and grumbleMurray
dont feeel obligated.

Monday, July 02, 2007

take your hand and walk away

its busy on the main road and I dont wanna leave my house AGAIN. fuck.
so I am like ignoring that I have to leave to pick up some fine ground coffee and some MEAT.
I am having to deal with some business type stuff that involves a drunk lady I am pretty pretty sure.
but dont take it too hard. she will be alright.
I guess.
me toooo WE WILL ALL BE OK.

thank the heavens I dont have a drinking problem.
sorry if you do you should really watch that.
gambling is a problem too for YOU i heard.
maybe I am wrong though.
do you hear things about me? people lie.
I have been bored today.
and active at the the SAME TIME>
I almost skipped the gym but made the right turn at the right moment and before I knew it I ended up in the gym just working on my fitness
he's my witness oooh weee.
I am fergie.
also I am thinking I will spend a few moments stretching cause I feel a little wound up and tense.
just because i am.

i took this picture right after I had a 70 calorie fudgescicle