Friday, August 31, 2007


for some odd reason I had upset stomach tonight.
for a few hours.
thats not FAIR.
get it?
and the fair I think fucks with my head for all sorts of different reasons.
and even though I had heartburn/indigestion or whatever was the case I still had 2 tacos and maybe like 4 bites of some not so great pork sandwich...
I wanted to eat more.
and maybe I should have taken pictures but sometimes I just wanna ENJOY my LIFE without MY CAMERA! excuse me.
but i shouldnt have had that SUNKIST SODA with all that SUGAR earlier in the afternoon i just knew it was gonna mess me up and maybe i guess the fair gives me anxiety. so ADD IT UP & you get what you get.
just kidding though.
but i do think some guy in the grandstands took some pictures of me.
seriously. I think he was taking pictures of all the peoples.
the sheriff pulled him aside.
he played all dumb.
I will post more PICTURES THAT I TOOK of things soon.
youre welcome but its really nothing and its more for me than you really.
and I will be using photobucket I GUESS>
since flicker says I am all FULL. no space or whatver.
wait a minute!
does september mean all new space for me?
well how do YOU post your pics on YOUR blog?
you have typepad?
you use blogger?
should I do exactly what you do?

coco is very suspicious of my laptop.
its so silly.

get stupid

DSC09999everyones blog is all the same bullshit.
with the exception of course of yours and mine.
we are different.
more special.
ok maybe just you.
have I mentioned that my hits have decreased 20%? why would that be?
lets ponder that.
and everyone is a fucking asshole.
sometimes I forget to look at your blog because I am so engrossed in my blog or my other daily life activities.
but i am a loser and you are obviously not.
did I just come up with all that on my own?
I have done a lot of non stop cleaning.
and last night I had KFC.
and champagne.
is that not marvelous?
I like that LA INK show wth KAT VON DE.
she is hot and I wanna be just like her.
I wonder if she would be a cold bitch to me?
I hope not cause that would break my heart.
eventually I would move on.
the other night while laying in bed i was trying to freak myself out by telling myself OVER AND OVER again and agian that I was goign to be 30!
I was all OH YEAH RIGHT shUT UP am NOT! but then realized oh yes I AM going to be 28 soon and that is basically 30.
then I was ALLL OH FUCK I AM GOING TO BE OLD AND DEAD VERYSOOOON. a dead old stupid lady.
i keep feeling really fat all the time.
I need to print myself up a STRICT DIET.
I know booorring huh
today is lazy friday.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I said FUCK outloud In front of the everything

so many people and things got on my nerves today..
but THAT IS my problemo.
choked myself to death a few moments ago.
not on purpose of course but it was a little fun.
AT first I was thinking I should use the op to vomit up my dinner and then go eat some lucky charms but I quickly thought better of the idea.
vomiting is so drama and I dont need no drama.
EARLIER I was trying to be reallly summery feeling so I ran through the sprinklers w my clothes on and a van full of people WAVED at me so I was like HEeY! and gave them the thumbs up signal and then they gave it back.
it was a neighborhood moment.
they could see my inner child.
my son was all mad cause he didnt think I was funny at all.
soccer practice also took place today from 5-6 and I pretty much just let the kids yell at me and kick balls at me.
its fun.
AND my toe was an inch away from a BLACK WIDOW SPIDER this afternoon while wattering some dead flowers.
wowie that was close.
what would happen to my toe?
fall off? turn purple? swell up?
i never like to bother spiders but I WILL kill one if I must.

i really want some fried chicken fo dinner tomorrow night.

Monday, August 27, 2007

dog eat dog

this is on a kermit packback at TARGET that I WANT REALLLLY BAD.
it's only 9.99 and they have like 20 so odds are in my favor for 50% off soon!
it's funny cause some of them are marked 14.99.
so sick of hearing about michael VICK the DOG KILLER.
i shouldnt even bring it up.
yeah turn it over to GOD.
good idea.
all kinds of dog tragedy going on in the world at this time.
everywhere I turn its
THAT person stepped on that DOG!!
I shot a dog. you kicked a dog.
seriously take care of your DOGS pleasE
watch overthem and if you dont like them get RID of them. drop em off in the desert like a NORMAL human being or something .!
I am kidding. dont do that. thats wrong. you can only do that withe the rabbits, the snakes and the cats.
I dO not give a fuck what you do with your cats.
I hate cats. put your cat in the microwave and eat it for brunch.
though its true that some cats I do hold dear inside my heart BUT I can count the number of cats on this "list" on 1 of MY hands.
so thats like 5 or less!
I dont know why I am talking about cats and dogs when I reallllly want to talk about EBAY
and how much it can suck my dick.
and how the community is full of dick suckers.
i listed a southwestern style skirt and IT DID NOT SELL.
so I will just give it to the disable veterans man.
I think his name is RICO.
what does that mean???
anyone OUT THERE have any reeallly SUPER TERRIFIC and maybe TOP SECRET ways to lose 7 pounds?
i know you do.
I want to lose 7 lbs and then from there I will lose5 more and so on and etc.
I know I can DO IT!
and I know you can HELP.
maybe email me your tips or just leave them here in my comments.
now some of you smarties might want to pipe up and start recommending that I eat a cat or a dog or that I swallow some come.
dont say any of that.
none of that will help at all.
just think about it.
thanks in advance.

actions dictated

fair time!! i dont realllly plan on goign to it so FUCK YOU FAIR!
maybe I'll show up on FRIDAY.
I have a pack of birth control to pick up YESTERDAY!
my memory is going.
my doggies both need a bath today and I need to WORK my ABS.
next monday I am taking a pilates class and I cant WAIT!
what a loooooooonnnng month AUGUST is turnnin out to be.
I will be greeting September with open arms.
janet called me yesterday.
shes doing very well.
i miss her terribly.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

melting into nothing

i had an overload of social activities going on all weekend.
i guess the one thing I feel like bringing up is the meeting I had w my stepfathers ex wife and her fiance PAUL at the local car show. she only came up to me because I was holding my sweet and adorable puppy coco at the time.
then she was like uh oh shit HI KATHRYN.
I know we would have avoided each other otherwise.
maybe NOT who knows what really would have happened if coco wasnt there.
and as we were talking she tells me that she ran into BRADLEYS 6th grade teacher the other day and it turns out that it was mrs. shawstak!! also MY 6th grade teacher! so she also ran into MY 6th grade teacher!!!!!
OHMYGOD! thats CARAZY! this town is small and freaky all this was my reaction to her.
she was like huh? .
she thinks I am WEIRD.
SO! last week tivo messed up my entire life by not recording the correct and CURRENT REAL WORLD for me and I think that MAYBE its about to be on again real soon!
after this rap show.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

money for the funeral

thats there is some LOWFAT orange cranberry bread from TRADER JOES.
it is good.
earlier today i got a killer deal on a JUMBO kitkat bar
only 69 cents!!!
but turned out it was all melted inside the packaging.
it wasnt even that hot out and anyways dont KIT KATs usually involve a piece foil?
or dont they do that for the jumbo size?
i threw it away.
I wanted something marshmellowy anyways.
i reallllly wanted the pack of orange marshmellow pumpkins but it is way too early for pumpkins FOR ME.
late sept maybe but not now.
search me.

Friday, August 24, 2007

some people are such idiots and I hate them

that picture is all CRAZY lookin.
i stayed up way too late last night watching BLACK SNAKE MOAN.
that movie is really weird and unrealistic but I liked it.
I enjoy anything involving the blues and a girl in her underwear all chained up.
do you pay attn to people names?
i never do.
but lately I have all these NEW names to remember.
probably like 20 new names!
and I am doing GREAT.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

made it for years and years

oh court house I love you.
shiver me timbers
the pirate is real and he talked to me about all his personal business.
i told him he should check out all that has to offer.
but se said he doesnt really like to fiddle faddle his time away on the internet.
guess its just not his thing.
those are in my MOMS backyard. they belong to mother morning dove.
so sweet.
HA you thought that was a REAL cat!
that cat is not real.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Its gonna hurt you if it happens here

went to court this morning and pretyyy much mishandled the entire THING.
I am NOT eligible for traffic school and blah blah fucking shit.
the judge or sorry the commissioner did HOWEVER lower my fine 75 dollars.
I thought he lowered the fine TO seventy five dollars and did a celebratory dance but I was wrong. dur.
I still will have to ask for community service. OR NOT!
I should not have been speeding WHERE I was speeding WHEN I was speeding.
dont speeed.
I did make two friends while in line and while sitting
Diana and I forget the other girls name.
I wanted to sit back and listening to everyones plea after I was all done but I guess after my business was taken care of I had to leave.
which WHATEVER cuz I have A LIFE TO LEAD.
and so ya know my HITS are so WAY WAY down.
and I LIKE IT. means that people dont give a fucking shit and thats comforting.
yesterday while on a walk with my son and sweet golden ret. a MEAN AND SCARY PITBULL ran up to my dog and sniffed and ATTACKED her!
i was panic-stricken! I screamed for help like I was being RAPED and MURDERED.
my dog got her stupid collar off and then the dogs were doing whatever in the street
I was trying to hit that MEAN SCARY dog with my dogs chain leash while screaming HELP!!! SOMEONE HEPL!!!!US!!! AAAAHHHH!
then FINALLLY some asshole came out of his hoouse to see what the holy fucking jesus was going on and then everything was fine.
my dog wasnt even hurt just had slobber on her fur.
crazy dogs.
i can hardly remember what happened.
anything else to add?
the mexican mom came out to say sorryy and to touch my arm with her healing touch and told me I might be "diabetes" and I should "EAT THE BREAD".
she should have invited me inside for a rest.
but all I wanted to do was get OUT of there and on to the next street over.

Friday, August 17, 2007


gooood morning.
i am not so sure about YOU
but when I drnk alcohol I have to pee more often
I am sure you experience this too
its dumb of me to even think that you wouldnt be able to understand and relate
it happenes to all HUMANS
well anyhow the feeling of having to go pee came over me last night and I was sorta bummed because peeing takes time away from my life
a few seconds at least
but I tried to cheer myself UP by thinking to myself well HEY at least youre getting drunk.
but the funny thing IS that I wasnt even drinking alcohol
I was drinking tang.
do you like the tang drink?
i do.

I like everything!

so are you ready for the next tsunami?
should be any day now.
god be WITH YOU!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

c'mon girl

well gee that was fun.
morning time should last all day long.
I am seriously obsessing over getting some sort of sugary treat tattooed onto my skin.
a cupcake?
an ice cream cone?
somewhere along those lines.
a cupcake with pink icing seems to be what I'm leaning towards most.
you heard it here first
but maybe this is a passing phase of mine and it will wear OFF
maybe I am full of stupid ideas.
ASHLEY OLSEN is on the cover of MARIE CLAIRE!
she looks like somebody else BESIDES MARY KATE
shelooks like FIONA APPLE!
marble rye is my favorite type of bread.
and stevie NICKS is my favorite WITCH.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

boys will be boys

loveslunch was a HIT with me!
i had the pizza insalate w a glass of shiraz and water.
afterwards I ran to my sons school where I chatted it up with a nice mom for a sec
i dont talk to bitch moms
then I raced home to do stuff
like nap.
and now i am in that post nap funk. i hate that.
and so my son and i have to arrive at school extra early tomorrow morning to return some stolen items.
oh my goodness graciousness.
and looks like I now have to fucking go outside.
PLUS! I have this stupid soccer meeting to attend!
but really its funny to me.
youre funny.

something there just aint right.

DSC00137i feel so FAT!
my nose has been stuffy.
is it shit?
I am going out to lunch now w a black girl, a gay guy and a rich german girl.
i am going to drink.
arent ya happy about all this?

Monday, August 13, 2007

I totally love

1st day of school.
woke up b4 the sun!~
I had some coffee in the cafe' and talked to some MOMS
one MOM asked if I scrapbooked/
I said NO
then she asks if I would like to tile my bathroom and i said YES
I will SO be joining the PTA!!!!!! i am excited.
school is #1! and soccer!
I always wanna spell soccer like this: SOCCOR
how do you coach soccer?
anyone have any tips for COACH KATHRYN?
and GOOD tips! not lame idiot type tips.
tips with thought.
bought some good for the globe light bulbs yest. casue I am concerned about the enviroments
I have to call the electric company or visit their WEBSITe.
my blog is so much crappier than YOURS.
oh I am skipping the gym today because I drank 2 coffees w cream and fear that I would poop my pants.
coffee is like a laxative u know.
i need to water my flowers and make my bed and do some dish clean up and take the puppy outside.

can you see my stretchmarks??
I can.

Friday, August 10, 2007

salvaging the sauce

see our 11 am wine? had only one glass but still got all fucked up.
almost wandered across the restaurante to say hey to some old broad I used to hang with.
but I wised up quick.
so hey
i had a bottle of water and i LOST it. I just had it! its cold stills.
coco is being a bad puppy and i think I am allergic
but she is cute and has mastered the stairs.
growing up so fast.

every so often I get this PAIn! in the back of my head. right side.
am I thirsty?
where is that water?

also!today I decided that I really like to enjoy my twinkies dipped in milk.
and I like orange cake with coffee icing. holyummy.

i notice that a lot of the girls are getting bigger and bigger boobs.
all these girls I see.

have you checked out the new real world?
FUCK yeah.

I am pretending tobe drunk.
the best batman movie BY FAR is on now so C-YA and have a safe weekend but not too much fun.
i will miss you

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


the 1st two dayz I had her she mostly slept and sat around looking adorable.
today she feels more comfortable so she is acting like any usual puppy
that doesnt wanna go to EVER go to sleep.
she did nap for about two hours earlier this evening.
I guess I was lucky for awhile there.
did you hear about that crazy STORM in new york!?
i only caught a f=glimpse of the evening news but I plan on reallly paying attn to the late ELEVEN o' clock news.
hopefully I dont miss anything. i think it will be scary andthats what I crave. the scary.
doesnt everyone LOVE Robin Williams?
he should be our next PREZ! or is he too hairy?
he could get some laser hair removal I mean he IS rich?! afterall.
i bring this up because I was thinking about his 1987 movie GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
robin williams can play any ROLE!
he is amaZING!
whats up with JIM?

Tuesday, August 07, 2007


i hvae been meaning to POST some BS for the longest time so please please dont think that YOU hvae anything to do with anything at all
so ok here we go people
I sometimes dream of this fantasy town with this fantasy stuff and me and my family we travel there and it very strange and it VERY real life feeling and ANYWAYS I have nOT dreamt of that place in awhile and I was talking to my friend in a dream about it and I was trying to remember the NAME of the town for her and I couldnt remember one bitty bit and so I was ALL LETS just please GO there and I think I got fukcing LOST cause the town was all fucked up and people were screaming And some doors openned into nothing likeafucked up haunted mansion.
i cnat concentrate any more on this.
maybe I willl think harder on this at another time.
FIXTUREi have so much to do everyfuckingday.
and it seems that my responsibilities are only getting greater in number.
and oh yea I before I forget
a NEW sushi place openned UP right down the street and we ate there yesterday!
and we got a new puppy and her name is coco.

Friday, August 03, 2007

thats awesome

here is the scarredblog.
makes me never want to do anything EVER.
MTV is disgusting.
now on MTV this bodybuilder guy is saying he would eat POOP if it helped make his body look better.
tomorrow night I am going to a concert!
i enjoy vacuuming so I am going to make sure I do that tomorrow.
I try to vacuum everyday.
my moms vacuum is broken and she wants to borrow mine and I am sayin NO
because she will RUIN my vacumm.
everyone thinks I am a real big meanie
what she needs to do is rip up that carpet and start fresh.
thats what needs to happen.
I need new carpet too.
at least I have a vacuum that works.
how do you continually break vacuums?
becasue thats what is going on.
this is like their 5th one.
or should I say flooring?
i am going to eat a cookie.


I think I would like to declare this my favorite Metallica SONG!
can I do that?
is that alright with you?
metallica sold out dude.
have you even seen that movie about them?
they act like a straight up bitches in the end.
mostly the drummer I guess.
but still.
and whavever.
and did you know that I am going to be coaching a little kid soccer team?
well I am.
no goalie.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

You can blow with this

oh yep i totally FORGOT to look for umbrellas today.
I did accomplish other things like buying paper towels and folding some laundry.
pretty much the regular wednesday fun.
OH WAIT I kinda fucked up my gym time today.
arrived too late and the place was fucking jammed with bodies.
tomorrow is thursday.
i can read lips!
not really.
my laugh has been really pissing me off lately.
then I laugh even harder.
just so I will get more mad.
but really I guess I am anxious.