I SEE YOU WATCHING ME WATCH YOU

GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to have arhritis!
i have some like calcium deposit in my wrist! GROSS!
CALCIUM IS SICK!
I drink alot of milk. I wonder if that is a factor?
anyways i think that stinks.
but its interesting.
I really like to talk. I was once callled Chatty Kathy. thats a horrible name.
I never liked Kathy. and adding chatty to it makes it even less appealing.
earlier i must have been talking TOOooo much to my friend who we will just call "BITCHFACE DEBBIE".
BITCHFACE DEBBIE STRAIGHT UP HUNG UP! on me.
she saId she had to go and I YELLED something like I AM NOT DONE TALKING YET!!!! and then everything went deaD.
rude.

I know she visits this blog and I know that she is only interested in ONE THING:
THE PORN.

But really I would peter out without my dear friends.
all of them.

i can't do it without you

LOTS of times I want to say something but I don't.
Something right at the very tip of my tongue.
That is a serious task for me.
Keeping quiet is not my forte.


I want to beat something up and take a nap.

Scrambled and Fried

Last night I spilt jelly beans alll over my kitchen floor and i dont intend on ever picking them up.
its like confetti.
I always wanna make confetti. could be a good business.
It is obvious to me that I have been cursed with some sort of night sweat curse.
and this morning I woke up with a headache and my period.
cool.
super.
awesome.
so the pregnancy rumor that was being spread viciously by that Nicole girl is just ludacris! shes the pregnant one!

yesterday i made eye contact with a kitten.
I never should have let that happen.

I have to go cook up some eggs.

He scared the puss away

I SOOOO WANNA BE A MUTANT!
all the mutants are cool and I am jealous of them.
I am not sure which mutant I think is the coolest but maybe I think Storm is the coolest.
but maybe not. OH and LOGAN IS FREAKING SEXY!
he is an animal.

ANOTHER THING! I WAS spotted by an old friend from high school/jr. high.
that was unexpected.
BUT YET I KNEW IT!!!
I JUST KNEW I WAS GOING TO RUN INTO SOMEBODY!!
I meant to wear my sunglasses but forgot.
i saw this person and I was trying to head straight and not look anywhere but straight.
BUT then I heard my name being called KAAATHRYN...
huh?
oh hi.

I FELT LIKE I SORTA WANTED TO FIGHT WITH THIS PERSON.
weirds.

do you like the band Megadeath? yes no hell no hell yes    Free polls from Pollhost.com

DO THAT

I am getting ready to start another AMAZING DAY!
I have been sorta tired and last night did not help cauze I woke up every hour all sweaty and hungry feeling.
and I had to go tinkle every hour too.
Tinkle is a fun word for pee.
I think I should clean out my system and have 16 babies.
LIKE A REAL CATHOLIC.
But I am not really Catholic.
I was baptised Catholic but thats it.

I am going to the gym now and I am not looking forward to it.
the reason is because I am sick of squats and lunges.
But its ok.
i need to be strong for my sixteen unborn childern.

DUDE! I GET REALLY TICKED OFF WHEN PEOPLE MAKE A MEAL and DON'T EVEN OFFER TO SHARE OR MAKE ME SOME!!!!!!
i will just start doing that too.
I will make a LARGE plate of delicious nutrition and I will sit at my table and enjoy and when the other people look at it with envy I will POINT THEM IN THE DIRECTION OF THE KITCHEN!
thats how I will do things.
OH YOU want something??
get it your stupid self.

I am crabby.

People are Talking

the weather is not HOT enough for my taste.
I prefer it to be like 100 degrees.
not this sissy 80 crap.
I would consider moving to Arizona.
I have been over eating this whole weekend.
lots of chips and lots of ice cream.
and one pound of strawberries just this evening.

this post is OUTSTANDING!
remarkable.

I can't just eat one popsicle I have to have two.

Found myself singing
"Glory to God" while doing laundry.
I could not stop. ON AND ON I WENT!
SINGING AND SINGING
Glory! Glory! To God in the highest. .
Glory! Glory! And peace to His people on earth!
and more
THAT was wierd.
BUt I was quite impressed that I knew most the words.
I guess its not that impressive.

I know that soon i won't be going to church anymore.
I mean eventually I will stop.
eventually.

I am a total believer in reincarnation.
It makes sense.
I think.

I am never too sure about anything.
thats ok.

Was blind, but now, I see.

LAST NIGHT while sleeping a had horrible, nervous dreams. I wont tell you everything but here are the basics:
-I was in the mall.
-Other people were there.
-I needed a makeover.
-My hair was a mess.
-My vision was messed up.
-people were rude jerks to me.
-I bought some eyeliner.

I think that sometimes when i am dreaming I am trying to open my eyes in the REAL LIFE.
THATS why I can't see in my dream. THIS has been an ongoing thing ever since I was a little tiny girl.
I remember waking up in the morning and not beeing able to see. LIKE I COULD NOT OPEN MY EYES!
It weird. and sorta scary. EVEN IN THE DREAM WORLD.
I don't know if I am explaining this properly.

I go to church in a hour.

NO TOO BAD FOR YOU!! ASSHOLES!!!

MTV IS so dumb now. I don't even remember the last time I saw an actual music video!
I really can't and don't remember. I hear that they still exist.
when I changed from regular cable to satellite all the video channels I enjoyed had disappeared.
I found out about this WHILE they were installing the stupid satellite.
I THREW A FIT!!!
I was very vocal about my loss.
GOD! I was so much cooler back then!

BUT anyways all the peeps in my household did not give a shit.
too bad for you I think someone said.

I really wish I had those channels again.
It will be 2 years ago this July.

IS YOUR NAME B.J.???

WHEN I LOVE SOMETHING I THINK THAT EVERYONE SHOULD LOVE IT!!!!!!
AND IF YOU DO(N'T YOU SUCK!!
i love FRANZ ferdinand.
AND I LOVE this NEW ROOT BEER FLOAT ICE CREAM THAT IS AROUND THESE DAYZZZ!
I bought a thousand boxes of popsicle. I am gonna have an ice cream SALE!!
and what I don't sell I willl share with my friends.
I am not really gonna have a sale. that was just me joshin'.

I GIVE KIDS BUBBLE GUM AND CANDY so they'll like me.
BUT THE POPSICLES ARE ONLY FOR THE ADULTS!! BRATS!!!

I laugh at people when they fall or break their fingers.

I AM A MONSTER!!!!

I never drink coffee anymore. Coffee makes my pee smell funny and strong.
I wonder if that happens to everyone. I have been drinking a lot of tea instead.
with milk and sugar. I am English.
I got drunk AGAIN last night. A drank a Zombie.
turns all your big problems into little ones.
then I watched 2001 a space odyssey.
that movie makes me really sleepy. but I felt rude if I closed my eyes.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL I would ask "can I close my eyes now?" in my little girl voice when I got sleepy.
THAT IS SOOOO CUTE!! I AM SOOOO CUTE!!

1983 WAS OFF THE HOOK

I guess that song killin in the name is not appropriate for my sons fragile ears.
Its hard work being a responsible, good parent.
especially for an orphan like me.
how do I know how to raise a family?
the whole idea of family is just a castle in Spain.
the poor children.
BUT I still wish I could be three again.
unknowing for the most part.

all the space near the Sun

LAST evening I had two cosmopolitans and my immaturity was at an all time high.
being immature is the coolest.
I called people DICKWEED and WIENERFACE.
This lady was there and her name was GAY!
her name IS ACTUALLY THE WORD "GAY" and I made way too many jokes about that.
YOU KNOW YOU WISH YOU WERE AT HAMBURGER HAMLET TO WITNESS.
I also had some pea soup.

wanna know what amazing stuff I am going to do right now?
alright.
I am goign to the gym. like always.
then I am going to lay in the suns glory.
THAT REMINDS ME
The other night I was talking about the sun and how HOT it is and blah balhaboollyboo
and I thought that I was makign some spectacular points and the person I was talking to did not give a flying fuck about the sun or my ranting about it.
and it PISSED ME OFF!! I SHOUTED "DONT YOU CARE ABOUT THE SUN!???!! DONT YOU LIKE THE SUNN!!??! YOU BETTER RESPECT THE SUN AND ALLLLL OF ITTS OFFERRINGS AND GRANDNESS!!""
seriously the sun is like ENORMOUS. it will without reservation EAT US UP!!
respect the sun yo.

MAYBE ITS THE HORMONES BUT YOURE A BITCH

I like to eat other peoples left over food. Like if you are eating a chicken sandwich and you don't eat the crust I will pick it up and eat it. i am a scavenger.
I bought the dress that I am wearing in the above picture yesterday.AND I WORE IT YESTERDAY AND I AM WEARING IT TODAY.
it is sorta dirty now.
I actually plan on wearing it everyday for the rest of the summer.

I am listening to these people discuss banana bread and how they landed on the subject of banana bread.
WHO CARES!!!
go take a test or something. NERDS!!

I have a sweating problem.

and a bad mood problem.

and a boy problem.

and a dog problem.

and a best friend problem.

and a mom problem.

and a checking the mail problem.

and a grudge problem.

and a jealousy problem.

and an insecurity problem.

and a computer problem.

and an attention span problem.

and more.

gosh that was fun.

i just drank a mug full of melted butter.
thats not cool.

FEEL THE BURN

THE EASIEST PART OF MY DAY IS EVEN VERY HARD.
I am highly emotional today and I am afraid that is the lamest of lame.
I almost puked in the shower.
I guess I was just choking.

I think my life must be filled with lots of hallucinations and things really are not so complicated.
but thats just a thought.
i am sure this is all mostly real.
REAL HARD.
FOR REALS.

WCKAY WDEENSAYD

Made some Hammyburgers last night and I made the patties waaaay to fat.
I AM SUCHA IDIOT!!!!
noIamkiddingnexttimeIwilldobetter.
I feel like my hair is always falling out of my head.
what the heck?

HEY IT IS MY SISTERS BIRTHDAY SOON!!
but birthdays are overrated and they come and go and leave you unsatisfied and empty.
well thats a downer thought for you. Its bestto just ignore birthdays all together so you won't be left disappointed.
I should admit that my last birthday was the best birthday i ever had and left me feeling completly satisfied and fullfilled.
that was a rare one. I ate some duck.

My dad told me once that I was "sharp"
I took it to heart and felt like it was the best compliment ever.
SHARP.
I am sharp.
Kathryn, you are sharp.

PRACTICALLY ROYALTY

I have an unfeeling headache. The brand of headache that comes when you have been high allll day looongs.

I went to go get my dream tuna sandwish and a girl so totally passed the heck out and broke her plate of food and caused all sorts of ballyhoo.
I WAS IN HYSTERICS!! no no I JUST STOOD AND STARED thinking how I could be of some help if only I was a doctor or nurse.
I had my food in my hand and was heading for an open table NEAR the XCITEMENT but I thought 'this is not some circus of entertainment this is a serious situation!'
so I sat far far far away.
18 firemen and paramedics came and wheeled her out on a bed.
after all that I needed a nap.
I did however enjoy my TUNA ON MULTIGRAN.
maybe a lil bit too mucho mayo.
I also had green tea.

I saw a snip of Oprah and GLORIA VANDERBILT WAS ON talking about her sons suicide.
he flew out his window like some kind of bluebird or jet plane.
I am pretty pretty pretty sure that I'm related to her.
somewhere I am related to the VANDERBILTS!!!
I heard that somewhere.

my life is so staggering.

Oh yeah, this'll be a fine day

I want a delicious TUNA sandwich.
But I don't wanna work in anyway for it. I want it to just appear before me.
I don't want to make it. I dont wanna drive anywhere to get it.
I dont wanna to speak and order it.
I dont wanna pay for it.
I JUST WANT IT TO BE.
here. now.
I went to the gym for 2 hours this morning and I seriously feel like I cant move.
Its the yoga. it kills me. and this bithc new teacher lady.
she has HUGE FAKE BOOBIES.
HUGE.
it looks ridiculous.

Sometimes I think about bringing my camera to the gym.
how lame is that?

How lame is this?

Maybe I will just eat a piece of cheese and call it a day.

Here Come The Bastards

I was thinking of renaming this here blog to "IVE BEEN FUCKIN' AWESOME".
but maybe that is too much.
Unctuous is my new favorite word and I will be trying to use it daily.
I am sure that will last one day.
today.
I have THEE WORST FOCUS.
I never follow through with anything.
BUT somethings I follow through till the END.
like my anger.
till death do us part.
me heart anger.
kat+anger= 4 eva.

i see people from the gym and church everywhere I go.
I see the church people in the gym and the gym people in the church.
I am part of the community.

and yoga was too hard today and I got pissed and almost made a scene and walked out.
but didnt. but I imagined it all.
then during the fake meditation time this man was outside the yoga area YELLING "YEAH THATS IT!!! WITH YOUR LEGS!! YOU GOT ITT!!! YEAH!!! FEEL IT!!! OH YEAH!!!" to some girl he was "training".
and that was kinda annoying.

Well... isn't that diabolical?

I have eaten 300 cherries today.
remember The Witches of Eastwick?!!? I forgot but I love that damn movie.
you know that part where they eat all those cherries and then people start puking the pits? thats cool.
I know I am going to eat more cherries before the day is through.

SSSSLLLLLLUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT!!!

I just feel this need to post all the slutty pictures I took today.
But nah i'l' justa read a book instead.
I need to get in touch with the Corn Mother.
I always worry about what all my friends and family who read this blog and know me personally will think about this IVEBEENCRYN B.S.
SInce it is a extension of myself.
I think that everyone hates me.
I feel that I need to apoligize all the time.
oh sorry for cleaning your house.
sorry for talking too much.
sorry for calling you dumb.
sorry for kicking you in your crotch.
sorry for throwing that tuna sandwich at you.
i am horrible. i blame my genes.

I sold an assload of my I LOVE LUCY TAPES at that yard sale I had.
that was dumb.
but I don't even own a VCR.
so whatever.
I know I LOVE LUCY I don't need to hold onto useless crap to prove it.

QUALITY SINCE 1898

BOOBS ARE SOOOO DUMB! I hate them. especially mine.
so what can I say that I have not already said B4????........................
uh church. uh god. uh love. uh jesus. uh peace.
I have eaten 40 ENTENMANNS GLAZED DEVILS FOOD POPEMS!! (donut holes)
bastard devils food tempting me with it chocolateeeee goodness.
LAST night I dreamt about this banquet of cakes and coffees.
it was FREE!! I think everyone was celebrating the end of the world.
AKA THE COMING OF CHRIST!
Today in church the subject was LOVE.
GOD IS LOVE.
Love is too complicated and so is God so it went right over my head.
and I sat and played with my hair.
OH and I can TOTALLY SEE AURAS!! I CAN!!!

I would swim today but the stupid weather is crap.

I have lots of pictures of boobs so BEAWARE!!!

I am trying to get my website BANNED from PANERA BREAD.

what is that taste?

WASHING MY FACE IS AN INCONVENIENCE TO ME!!
I have felt freezing cold all day long.
My nerves are TRASHED.
I am actually shivering.
I did take a nap in my wet bathing suit.
but thats ok.
Sorry to say that I have had no Midori sours.
I did however have a pop-tart.
certainly not the same.
I also went to the gym this morning.
SAturdays at the gym? hmmm?
well it felt like it was daaays ago.
Time is warped man.
I want to learn how to enjoy my weekends more.
I want to learn how to enjoy my alone time more.

KATIE HOLMES BUGS THE CRAP OUT OF ME.
I don't know why.

Tonight I ask the question, "is your blogreally THAT important to you??" to myself.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS ME IN JULY 03! Sittin in my old house.
Tonight in MAY 06' I had to go feed my friends fish. I walked in her house and it was a MESS.
So I totally cleaned it. I swept and I straightened.
MY house is a MESS. What business do I have cleaning her house?
She will probably be offended or something.
I should go back and mess it all up again so she and her family won't be angry with me.
Why is it easier to clean other peoples messes?

something has gone wrong here

LAST night I split MILK ALL OVER the kitchen floor and I cried for an hour about it cause it made my feet all sticky.
and I could not get to sleep last night cause my feet were very hot. I wanted to chop them off.
and right now my stomach hurts from hunger.
i have an addiction to picking at my split ends. once i start i can't stop.
what else can I whine about since that seems to be one of my many talents?
I HATE PATIO FURNITURE! FOR DAYS AND DAYS AND DAYS I have been trying to buy some BUT I CAN'T!!I JUST CAN'T!!!!!!!!
I gave 2 dollars to an old an old man that was holding a sign that read "OLD MAN DOWN AND OUT"
he seemed shocked when I handed him the money.
poor old man.
and POOOOOOOOOOOOORR MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
I HAD A dream that my dead cat was alive and I was allllll HEY THERE IS MY DEAD CAT!! COOL! HE IS ALIVE AGAIN.
but thats not how it works.
once something is dead IT IS DEAD.

BUST-O-RAMA-O-LAME-O

living is just too hard for microscopic me.
I am told that I have an attitudo problemo.
what is my dealio?
why am I the way I am?
why I am so horrible?
i blow.
and this blog really blows.
it almost disgusts me.
and you should be ashamed if you like it at tall.
cause it blows.
ALL THIS BLOWS!!!!!

BATMAN LIVES IN ME

SOOOoooo last night was the last O.C. of the season.
Stupid.
It was alll graduation and tears. A main character died in a car accident.
tragic.
high school is just about the lamest thing ever.
I hated high school and I decided not to ever go.
I had better stuff to do with my friends and boyfriends.
like smoke weed and have unprotected sex.
OHHHHH I AM JUST KIDDING.
no unprotected sex. thats bad.
anyhow I did not attend any graduation ceremony.
I did however attend my 8th grade graduation.
but that was an even bigger joke.

ONE TIME I was ditching school and I had to HOP a chain linked fence and I totally ripped the butt area of my jeans.
I thought NO BIGGIE DUDE I WILL JUST CHANGE WHEN I GET HOME.
BUT little did I know that my FRIENDS CAR WOULD NOT START! the battery was dead.
SO WE SAT IN HER CAR TILL THE NEXT CLASS AND then HAD TO GO BACK IN THE STUPID SCHOOL.
it sucked. I tied some jacket around my waist for the rest of the day.
crap like that always happens.
so I hated schoool and I am proud of that.
the end.

GOODNIGHT

it should be summer all year long.
Summer time makes me want to drink a gallon of MIDORI SOURS everyday.
This weekend I willl start. I feel as if I have been talking a lot about booze.
Yesterday I was goign to make my ginger lemonade vodka drink but it turned into a Amaretto ginger lemonade.
Amaretto is by far my favorite.
I used to drink a lot of brandy but i had a bad experience one night in a limo.
The night involved lots of brandy, professional wrestling, sea food, strip clubs, and self induced vomitting.
it was not very exciting.
and now I can't even drink brandy.
i hardly ever get drunk anymore.
its just no fun to get all wasted and sick.

BUT I will be drinking some Midori Sours this weekend.
they are very sweet.

STAY AWAY FROM MY BODY

My red hair will not survive the summer.
Swimming makes me sleeepy.
I think I will start drinking more and bloggingblooobllob less.
I feel that I don't feeel satisfied with the amount of comments I get.
I want MORE COMMENTS YOU STINGY BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!

If Only My Middle NAME WAS BUTTERCUP!

It has been hard to choose what music to listen to lately. I need ALLLL NEW cause I cant choose. I have lots of good stuff but some stuff I just can't listen to ANYMORE.
Music can effect my whole mood. and I am kinda OCD about how I choose music. This is actually a secret and I shouldnt be telling any secrets.
I was trying real hard to be allll zen and chill in me backyard but the BUGS really spoil it for me.
they keep me on edge.
I think I was stung by a BEE on one of my little toes.
i think.
It did land on me and I may have startled it.
It stung me.
clearly it did.

and then that killer spider.

i had more to say but once again I have lost interest.
maybe I will post again this evening.
I am feeling brilliant.

LETS TAKE THIS TO TRIAL

I just finished a sandwich and I am sad. It was so yummy. It usually comes with some pasta but I asked if i could have some fruit instead and they gave me ONE SLICE OF ORANGE!! ONE! SLICE! come on.
So now I am going to make my Vodka drink and float around my pool. AND BURN MY SKIN.
Maybe I should appply some sort of lotion first.
Forget it. thats no way to get a TAN!
I would invite someone to come over and chill out by the pool with me BUT I don't think anyone is interested.
well, that might not be true. I bet a whole slew of people would be interested.
so MAYBE I am the one who is JUST NOT!

Wanna know something else?
I really love my name. Kathryn is a great name.
If I was a boy i think I would want my name to be JUDE.
thats a good name.
AND ANOTHER THING!
Paul McCartney and his new wife are getting a divorce!!
When I look at him now I can't even see the Beatle in him.

It will be sad when all The Beatles are dead.