I MAY HAVE MISSSED THE DANCE

i bought a pack of waterguns the other day! fun summer about to be happpening here.
are you AWARE of the following?:
i made mouth watering panncakes this morning.
when I woke up it felt like it was 10 am at least but it was SIX AM!
thats a GOOD SIGN.
i have my stepbrother staying with me at the moment.
Brad.
today I took him and my son to the library and oh yeah my mom followed us there and sat next to me. I held my hands tight.
my son played a little red bird in a skit.
and tonight I am being somewhat FORCED to go out to dinner with everyone.
my mom. stepdad. stepbrother. husband. son.
its not a problem per se.
after the library i rushed to the gas station in tiny panic attack mode cos I was on fumes.
I turned the air OFF.
now my hair is all drippy dripp down my back because I was just playing little mermaid in my pool.
all. by. my. self.

oh and today I sorta showed my mom my blog because I wanted to show her the videos and i told her its where I say how much I hate her.
and I know I hurt her feelings.
but she is too sensitive.

and oh yeah I may have recently ruined a surprise party.
and maybe not may have but did in fact.
shit.

I GOTTA BE REAL WITCHEW

I LOVE POP MUSIC! BESt!!! I AM SO SO CAL. haha
right now UMBRELLLA IS MY FAV SONG!
YOU KnOW THAT ONE RIGHT!?
YEAS!
AND I LIKE THAT REHAB SONG BY THAT WINEHOUSE TRAMP
and anything with p.diddy or timberland is alright for me as well.
but I like other stuff too. and then there is some stuff that I don't like.
I guess I should acknowledge the NEW maroon 5 album but really its not so good.
songs about jane was and is really good.'but whatever this new one doesnt do it for me.
I guess they are gay. and still whatever.
nevermind.
I guess I am sensitive and exasperated.
i just drank a cup of blueberry flavored coffee.
I do have some blueberry cereal but its already the afternoon.
but since when do I have rules about cereal?
or any food?
well whatever.
I think my period should arrive ANYDAY NOW.goodygoodygumdrops.
and this is for YOU.

Umbrella Lyrics

i know what youre thinking

do noodles go bad?
I have too many bags of noodles in my pantry thing cupboard? there must have been a sale.
anyways I have noodles.
I want to throw them out.
i also want to get a suntan but I also dont want anymore freckles or moles on my body.
my skin is not meant for the sun.
but I still crave it.
I have been thinkING about setting up a NEW flicker account.
buzznet is full of stupid annoyng things.
sorrry if you are a buzznet freak azoid playa but I think buzznet is whack and I hate using it BUT its there and I am a lazy slob and dont like accounts and cant remember passwords.
I have a flicker account BUT I forgot the log in info and its being all GAY and sayin that It doesnt rememeber me AT ALL
I have an old katfran buznet account that i cant get into EITHER!!!!!!! PASSSWORD FUCKS~
so its a dilemma after fucking dilemma around here but you know thats how I like to roll.
nothing is really that big of a deal.
you should have seen me the other night when I was screaming at my navigation system in my head while driving.
I was going to murder someone.
it was funny.
and my kness are so stupid because they act like they are 80.
i hope I live my life over and over and over again until I get it all right.
that would be the best for me.
I could live withthat.
next time.

write a letter with alll my secrets and fantasies

turns out blueberry cofffeee creamer aint so bad.
SURPRISE!
and it goes reallly really well with blueberry muffins.
too bad I aint got no blueberry muffins.
all i have is some crappy french vanilla flavored cofffee that I hate.
taste like french CRAP. but the blueberry creamer really helps cover that up.
today I am gonna try to eat NOTHING.
but thats just a joke. ok!
so yesterday was fun
not TOO TOO fun but just the right amount of fun.
PLUS as a BONUS i got to write some numbers on a sign with a MARKER!
a few letters. but mostly #'s.
and fuck my penmanship is fucking fantastic.

a lot of my friends are having babies or JUST had a baby.
congrats to all of them.
babies are the cooolest.

here they come

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
i am all afraid.

theyre probably aware

this one is embarrassing to me.
but look at those sea creatures!

regret on my part

i have a few more videos from yesterday. I was a marine biologist documenting my findings with my team.
anyways.
I will show you some more proof that I am kinda stupid and annoying once youtube finishes processing my shtuff.
like how I spelled stuff? with a h.
I am nifty kids.
its windy and that always fills me up with happpyness.
I turned the poool heater on.
and ummm I ate some chicken nachos from el pollo loco.
and later I am gonna prepare some bean dip for my imaginary party with all my imaginary friends.
this HOlIDaYweekeND is getting my goat so to speak.
and therefore.

that was cool

YESTERDAY WAS FRIDAY TODAY IS SATURDAY

I am going on a little adventure to a place called Ventura.
what am I saying here?
I cant get involved.
shhhhhhhhhhhh.....my sweet
lets not start a fight.

is being cool boring?
not to me.
to me being cool is cool
so I think you should try it.

I had some scary movie dreams last night.
being all nervous and scared in your sleep sure is WHACK!
and its whack when youre awake too.
now that I think about it I had some weird dreams involving movies the other night TOO. I was agitated in that dream becos I could not see the movie screen becos some dumb soda pop machine w/lights was sitting right in my view and I was saying, "WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP SEATING ARRANGEMENT IS THIS!?!?"
i could not understand WHY in the fucking world a brightlite soda machine was INSIDE the dark theatre right infront of MY seat.
but NOW i know why. because it was a fucking annoying dream.
its almost 1 am.

You Are 31% Pure

Pure? Sure, you're about as pure as yellow snow. You're a downright devil. But you're also a pretty delightful one!

The 100 Question Purity Test

hello

i can only DO so much! GOD!
just joking.
I am drinking a BEER! OH MY GOD! i dont know why I exclaimed that.
Hornsby's hard cider actuallly.
its golden and smooth.
I started to cut up the corn and zucchiniiii for DINNER tonight.
we are having salmon.
and for dessert we are having brownies sundaes.
its someones birthday.
and isnt it fun with youre driving around town and you see people you know.
well SOME people its FUN to see.
other people just get in the way and I think WHOA LOOK AT ALL THAT WHITE TRASH!
see. I am NOT RACIST.
anyways.
sorry I am not smarter or something for you.
maybe I could start writing some poetry

ok
here


I try not be so cool
but yet thats who I am
and when you try and g front
thats when I come to visit you
with the Mr. SAndMAN


is that poetry?
I may have failed some english classes because I was too busy with REAL LIFE.
haha
I am trying to be funny.

YOU STILL HAVE MADE A CHOICE

I dont like stuckupness. snobbiness. snobs.
its not nice to think you are better or WORTHY atall.
a lady with a super hot body asked me why people dont embrace JESUS CHRIST when its free like exercise
I just said people are weird.
I did not get all into it with her.
what do you say to something like that?
I guess I should have said that all she can do is pray for their souls.
I never know what the fuck people want to hear.
and people never know what I want to hear.
how do you like my boob?
do you have boobs too? neat.
SO FRIENDS I found a forum on the INTERNET talking about me. yippy.
I am so very popular I guess.
its says I am a camera WHORE and how my body is nice but my face is ugly.
thats nice to find.

about 15 different things

some stuff is funny like in a bruce willis way.
like how you think MY blog is for YOU.
but it is.
do you like bruce willis?
i know you do. who doesnt?
I used to watch moonlighting with that yearning to see him and 'Maddie' Hayes "do it" or at least make out.
I was like 5 or 6 or 7 and 8 and also 9 too.
one of those ages. or all. 5-9.
I also watched 21 jumpstreet.
ages 7-10.
you love television right? me too.
SIKE!
and just like you everything has to be just so before sitting down to enjoy some ice cream.
right now I wont be having any icecream.
and seriously are we really going to run out of water?
what lies ahead?
tell me!!!
EVERYTHING! YOU KNOW!
I
am thirsty.
or hungry.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

lets seee here now. last night I spilled EVOO
(extra virgin olive oil)
alllll over my oven and started a FIRE w FLAMES and my house was filled with smoke.
I frreaked out.
I was sure everything was going up.
but it was all ok and my house is still standing.
Iam always worrying about my house burning down.
and I worry about it happening becos of something I do wrong...
like leaving on a burner or a stupid curling iron or HAIR CRIMPER.
I havent crimped my hair in a while.
AND pots and pans and dishes are piled all over my kitchen cause thats what happens when I cook.
LUCKILY I was treated to some THAI food this early afternoon.
I ordered some tea that tasted like wood.

I dont thnk I have anything else to say right now.
maybe later.

THE MORE I TALK THE LESS I THINK

I am such a THIEF.
I stole some frozen steak burgers from my stepfather BILL the other day and I cooked emup last nite and THEY SUCKED!
I think it was horse meat or dog parts.
whichever you think would taste worse.
no flavor.
*****i think I need to go buy an orange for my dinner recipe tonight.
the zest of an orange***** and garlic****
and every night I consider drinking a screwdriver or some sort of vodka combo but I dont.
and if I actually do mix something up I think it tastes gross.
maybe I need someone to MAKE me a drink.
I wanted to go to bartender school.
the other day my stepfather said something about drinking some tequilla with him and I was like "uh no. I dont think so."
and I was really shocked that he could be so dumb and clueless.
I wonder if he reads my blog?
surely not.

and I am a very nice and sweet person with very deep feelings and thoughts.

I make a lovely hostess

i am in such a bad mood.
thats not good.
its just that I am so bored and sick of you that it makes me angry.
but mostly its MONEY that is putting me in a bad mood.
if I had TONS AND TONS AND LOADS AND LOADS OF COLD HARD CASH I WOULD finally BE HAPPY!
SO THERE!
you will take that all the wrong way and think wrong of me.
but HA!
you see what you want.
the mail has been fetched and of course it was filled with a bunch of IMPORTANT AND FRAGILE papers.
and my nice husband is washing my car right now and thats very nice.
there has been large big bird shits all over it for the past week.
I really am not in that BAD of a mood but nevertheless i am very annoyed.
I cant control my thoughts.
just kidding.
HEY CARRIE! remember when we had that nice visit to SANTA CRUZ together as a family?
remember that MYSTERY SPOT!?
that was an alright visit.
seems like a lifetime ago.

CELL PHONE RINGTONES ARE SILLY

i have other pictures that are cool but you all dont get to see them because I SAY! because I am IN control.
my preview button is NOT working. what did you do to it? I KNOWYOU ARE FUKING IT UP SOMEHOW!
every so often I get intense pains in my head.
feels nice.
have I written this before? yes because this is all the same shit here. OK.
i hate the wind again tonight.
I cant tolorate this any longer you see it gives me anxiety.
I may have forgotten somethings in the past few days that normal people do everyday.
like get the mail.
but I have brushed my teeth and showered and all that hygiene type stufff. so no worries on that front.
huh?
do I make anysense?
cause I feel dumb.
you on the the other hand seem real smart.
but i guess we are all somewhat dumb.
i just went psycho on some cake.
and now I am enjoying a cup of tea.
i think I will go to sleep or something.
did I spell psycho correctly?

in the end we straightened it all out

reminding yourself that you are safe is good and normal. unless you arent.
see yesterday I was in the pool.
today no.
presently I am sitting around w DEVILS FOOD cake batter all over me.
some on my on my face, arms, hands and stomach.
yes I am baking a cake.
welll, my part is done and now the oven does the rest.
I need some icing though. I only have green icing and thats just NOT gonna do.
i want white.
I am not trying to be racist.
its a BUNDT CAKE.
I called up a place to make an appt for my son and I couldnt hear what the lady was saying to me because my
MUSIC WAS NOISY in the background whatever
I couldnt hear what she was saying but I said YES to her anyways and it turned out that I should have said NO.
she should not have asked me that dumb question anyways.
I could tell she was getting annoyed with me from the get go.
good thing I ask questions.
its all a fucking waste of time anyways.
assholes.

how embarrassing that would be for you and me

there is a slight breeze in the air today. that blows. haha
i am sitting around doin nothing thinking about all the stuff I have to do.
but its only 10. 10:30.
I WANT A JUICER!!
so i can make some lemonade. and limeade.
how do I need so many things?
dont you feeel like you should be doing everthing diffferently??
all the time i worry about being recorded and spied on.
I am really paranoid...
at least you cant get into my dreams.
I JUST DECIDED THAT I am going to be attending a BROADWAY MUSICAL.

i wish

If only I had a piece right this second sitting here infront of my face instead of this computer screen.
no jjoke
I may have to clean up my kitchen and just go ahead andbake a cake.
yesterday the cake was a tinkerbelll cake so that probably had to add a little extra flavor.
and when I 1st arrived at the party I was told about a tinkerbell pinata and so you can imagine how my heart began to flutter. then I was told it looked kinda sexy and so I got even MORE excited.
but I GUESS the parents went out and got another one because the one they brought out was just a stupid pink star with a picture of a few princesses in the middle.
why did they lie to me?

i forgot

I have a BIG RED SCRAPE on my left shoulder because I ran into a large piece of wood the other day while fleeing from a cricket that I thought was about to JUMP on me.
I was all confused and disorientated when it happened.
I thought I had been stung by a wasp or something.
but then I was all OH A PIECE OF WOOD.
SCRAAAAAAPE.
it was funny stuff you would have been impressed on how well I took it.
so I really like the scrape and am sad to see how fast i am healing.

I would like to go rock climbing.

arent you gald for this?

HOLYMOTHEROFBUDDHA!?

i am running things all wrong. I have piles of clothes all over.
that is just one of my normal problems. but still its a problem.
and I have piles of PAPERS! its annoying.
so many annoying things. and people.
I was given some calla lilies for mothersday and they are dying.
the leaves all fell off and the one flower that was bloomed is now brown and ugly.
what did I do to it?
and I weigh 151 as of this morning.
BUT I know how scales and all that stuff can be very inaccurate and I did have my sweaty clothes on and other factors too.
BUT STILL!!! it can't be THAT OFF!
but hey at least I am not pregnant. but might as well be I guess.
I need to lose about 20 lbs is what I am saying here.
i can do it.
I am going to a birthday party today.
and it's going to be so much fun!
and I will probably eat some cake.
and I hope there is a PINATA.

bees are very interesting/i love the honey.

i have nothing to blog about.
i shopped too much today so I will again say that I too am bipolar BUT also say that it was stuff I really NEEDED and YOU NEED IT TOO.
pool stufff.
floatys and ballls and nooodles and coool funshit like that.
wanna come over and float around on a ring or a noodle chair or play some water basketball?
well, maybe I cant invite ALL of you at the sametime. we all wouldnt get along. it could get nasty.
trust me.
and actually I want to take back the invitation anyways. its too awkward.
but back to the shopping
I really did HOLD BACK CUXZ LIKE THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE I WANTED>!
like this one NEATO pen that writes all embossed and shit.
dont you realize that you can like decorate your cell phone with this amazing PUFF PAINT PEN!!?
or your laptop!
doesnt that sound like a realllly fun activity to do?
well it is 4.99 and I did not place it in my cart.
and there was also a really adorable strawberry picnic blanket I DID NOT BUY!
FUCK! I need IT!
I NEEED TO PICNIC!
ON IT!

i missed those days because of you

i am sorry if my blog appears on your computer screen all fucked up and wrong. that is dumb and makes NO sense.
why dont all you let me know actually. go aheadand tell me.
I have viewed my blog on several dif computers and it always looked fine.
so maybe your shit is fucked.
maybe you should get a mac?
I love my mac.
I do.
its nice.
why hate on macs? GEEK!
why?
lets DEBATE!
no. lets not. thats no fun.
HEY GUESS WHAT!@? RIGHT AFTER I POSTED THAT I WAS NOT GONNA DEAL WIT MY TICKET I DEALT WITH IT! I CALLED AND GOT AN EXTENSION!! fuck yes IN YOUR FACE!
july 17th.
please remind me.

sometimes I think my blog is the BEST! and sometimes I believe it to be the absolute WORST!
but pretty much I always think its better than yours.
but not yours.
yours is different in a more special way.
ya know.
i love you, goodnight.

I like to be a brat

HI!!!!!! i feel like a MANIAC! LIKE I have alll this stuff I have to do but I am not sure what or where. like that ticket. I Was suppossed to PAY it and straighten it all out yesterday. but I took a nap instead. and today I was going to try to go again but I went out to eat with some family friends instead. SHAME SHAME NAUGHTY BADBAD IRRESPONSIBLE AND BAD. no. i will get er done tomorrow.
I promise to the lord. I really have no choice BUT to fix it tomorrow CUZ LIKE DUH tomorrow is the due date.
I could just fuckit all together and shoot for a warrant.
HI I have a warrant out for my arrest.
how does that sound? does it sound cool and hardcore? cos that what I am alls ABOUTS!
no I am kidding
its not good.its sounds bad.
but sounds about right unless i GET MY LIFE AND SHIT TOGETHER!
I am ALL OUT OF MILK TOO!!!!
SO DAMN IT! I HAVE TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!
I haev tooooooooo MUCH TO DO!
but its only fair that I go layout in the sun for awhile right now.
bye.

ease up the friction

I am so fucking hungry I cant stand it!
I am about to go out for lunch.
I think I will have a stuffed potato. in the gym I was daydreaming about french toast with berries and powdered sugar and hamburgers and salmon.
holyCRAP I AM HUNGRY!!! i think I need to eat a watermelon wedge to keep me alive while I am waiting.
BECOS YOU KNOW! I STILLL HAVE TO DRIVE TO THE STUPID PLACE
THEN WAIT FOR A STINKIN TABLE
THEN ORDER
THEN WAIT......!!!!!!
I am so hungry.
you have no idea.

whenever I think of you oh darling

wouldnt you know I could not sleep last night. shocker.
the dreams I have are enough reason to stay awake. quite disturbing.
revealing too much about myself to myself that me NO LIKEY.
i am still sitting around in my wet gym clothes. thats gross.
what am I waiting for?
I watched some videos just nows and thought about posting some but then I got reallly bored and did not want to bore you as well.
SO Mike myers the CAnaadian comedian was on LETTERMAN LAST NIGHT and he reminds me of a deceased boy named Chris that died my sophmore yr in HIGH school.
he died in a car crash.
a son of a local cop drove his jeep cherokee like an asshole and flipped it over.
Chris was sitting in the way way back were there is no seat so he was thrown from the car.
My boyfriend at the time who we will call COREY was in the car and he held Chris as he choked on his blood and died.
they were ditching cause it was finals week.
I was sitting in my art class all done with my final and all the boys stormed into my class room DEMANDING that i be let loose to discuss an "issue" cause they were "peer helpers" haha and my teacher was all NO FUCKING WAY BOYS so I was all bummed out.
then they got in that accident.
it was pretty devastating. I often think that being the only girl hanging w all those young boys I would have been forced to sit in that way way back area. who knows?
I did not go and I did not die.
but Chris Reagan did and he was my friend and he was funny.

my chest and abdominals hurt.
and maybe my brain also.

BOOOOM BOOOOM BANG BOOM BANG boom boom

those are some terrific firework display pictures I must say.

revolve around me

now its time to pretend that my day was not real and did not go so horribly wrONG.
I mean it could have been worse. I could have been hit by a train. or my dog could have been murdered.
she has been bathed so now she doesnt smell like shit. thats a major bonus in her life and mine in all of our lives really.
somelady called me meeha today and she explained how things work in the "real world" AND I SAID BITCH I AM ABOUT TO SHOW YOU THE REAL WORLD WITH MY FIST IN YOUR FAT GUT!!
no. not really that was dumb and would be wrong.
I actually said this: oh really? thank you very much for confirming that THE REAL WORLD IS A FUCKING RETARD LOSER.
not to be confused w therealworld that airs on MTV on Wednesday nights cos thats my show.

I should take my clothes off right now and wash them so I can do this entire day all over again tomorrow minus the CRAP but still wearing the same outfit.

I am going to do some laundry.

maybe I will post again REAL SOON!

LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

i have a huge speeding ticket to pay and I have to go to traffic school also which I will do online and ihave been a bad girl by ignoring this situation. fuck me I hate this world and all its rulez.
I hate alllll the order and reasons and code of conduct.
and oh yeah I also recieveda ticket for not having a front license plate.
WTFF!? i got that one while enjoying a movie in a movie theatre. what a bunch of BS!
and I like to SPEED!

so far monday has sucked because of all the formalities.

that birds name is GUS and I gave him peanuts.

deep and ironic and fantastic

someONE blasted off some fireworks early this morning in my front yard around 3 am. pink and green ones.
dont do that please.
it scared me.
i woke up withmy fingernails slicing through my palms.
and as you know that hurts lots.
i did not expect my day today to be so smooth or so eminent
get some rest and kiss your mother.
I am gonna eat a brownie.

and maybe my heart is beating a little irregualr?

oh my dear friend my shit is fucked up so to speak and I am sorry I dont live up to my own standards.
or yours. so to speak.
I am afraid of all the natural disasters ahead and
all these disasters swirling around me.
I AM living in fear.
so to speak.
but i should try harder to make everyone happy.
I would like to make everyone happy.
the bottom line is my stomach has been killing me becos of whatever and no one gets that or ME.
so you just fuck off cos you are only pretending to be my true friend.
but I still cant get enough. so give me more.
wink wink
blink blink
and happy mothers day.

whoopy doo i have tons of things to do

i am so mad that I slept in!! damn it! and fuck!
anyways I will get over it dont worry my day is not ruined becos I am my own BOSS.
last night I dreamt about fighting off a rapist and It was scary and I was running down my street screaming HEELPPP! HELLP! and it was very intense and then I went to a slumber party with my friends and had a BLAST! and the police were there too.
It was so real.
I was wondering what I would dream about and I guess thats it.
you know how in your dreams when you are terrified and you are trying to scream but it is really hard to make any noise whatsoever?
I hate that.

and holy beans and rice YOUR BLOG IS BORNG!
dont you wish your blog was more like mine?
I know I know.
please dont whine.