struggle for existence

sorry to say but I am NOT wanting to go to church today. every morning I leave my house by 9 AM and I am FULLY tired of that crap. and the last few weeks of church have been less than pleasant. but I wont complain.
and someone always has bad breath and that is getting really old. instead of those little wafers they hand out they need little mints.
wanna know what else I am SICK of? peoplewho smoke fucken cigerettes in their fucken house! I am speaking of my mothers household. I walk in the stupid smelly house and its like one big cloud of death floating all around. It gets in my hair, on my clothes, in my lungs and into my blood stream. NOT TO MENTION MY SONS BLOOD STREAM AND CLEAN LUNGS!!
I hate my mom and I hate my stepfather and nothing NOTHING will ever change that FACT!
so when I walk in this death chamber of a house I OF COURSE EXPRESS my ANGER and concern over the fog of second hand smoke and I then everyone looks at me and treats me like a fuckenpsycho. BUT I AM NOT THE PSYCHO! THEY ARE!
so my mom goes and gets some fucken air freshing spray and all that does is make the air thicker. SO I SCREAMED that I DONT WANT AIR FRESHENER I WANT FRESSHHHHH!!!!!! AIIIIRRRR!!!!!!!!!! FUCKEEENNN AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so my stepdad left the house.
I honestly do not know how I ever ever lived in that shithole house. Or how I ever lived with my mother.
and I will not put up with anymore of her household customs.
if i could tell my mom to leave my life forever I would.
but i cant. for a few reasons. I am being very selfless.

today I have A LOT TO DO!!!!!!
and i have a party to attend.
and I think I heard something about tequila also attending.
SOMEpeople "can't" attend cause they are in love with studying and NOT in LOVE WITH ME!
how could that be?
how could someone not love me the most?
but the party is not forme. I forget.

i need to paint my toenails.
for some kooky reason I dont like my feet as much as I used to.