contrary to all reason or common sense

OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN! YESTERDAY WAS THE MOST RIDICULOUS DAY OF MY LIFE. sorta.
I went to the gym, then I went to a donut shop and had a jelly donut.
AT 12:30 I had my appt for my NINETY minute massage and I was nervous about whether of not I should leave my underwear on and decided it was best to take them off so I took them off BUT then I had a crazy burst of craziness and jumped up and put my underpants back on in a hurry. I guess I just felt more comfortable with them on. whatever I am dumb. SOOOOOOOOo I get all rubbed down and it was great and relaxing and alll that BUT then it was over.
all done.
SO in the parking lot as I was backing out of my spot I BUMPED MY CAR INTO AN OLD LADY!! I am serious. she did not fall down but she got bumped. and right then and there any of my remaining relaxation buzz leftover from my massage flew out of my body. I apologized to the old lady who just got bumped by the back of my Cadillac and I felt like the biggest asshole. I could blame the oldlady. but I wont.
so then I went shopping and maybe I stole a few things. maybe but maybe not.
then I had to go to the fair with some friends and family and I was introduced to people that I dont give a fucking hoot about and I drank some GIN and saw some figure 8 races and smoked some pot in some truck with some men and some boys ON THE FIGURE 8 TRACK! I was hoping to get arrested.
then i saw some nacho libre wrestling and then i saw some more goats and some more lamas and then some other stuff happened and more stuff happened.
I am leaving out a lot of details.
it was absurd.