a serious impulse control problem

the weather is sucky today and
my face needs to be washed.
actually I should take a shower. but i dont feellike doing anything today. If I had MY way I would sleep all day today.
I DID GO TO THE GYM AND yeah. i should not have left the gym. i should have stayed there. just for the fuck of it.
i think i am going to be going to this night time school thing. BUT i dont wanna make it NOT happen by saying too much about it. cause usually i dont follow through with anything i say BUT that could have to do with a lack of support.
at least that how I see it.
i made some appt with some fucking guy about some stupid solar poolcover bull and now I dont wanna dealwith that so I guesswhen he comes knocking at my door I will have to ignore him.
PLUS its too windy outside.
shut up.
sometimes what you say is not what you want to say but what you have to say so you just say it.

OH HONEY

I passed out OH AROUND TEN thirty (10:30) since I have been POPPING PILLS. BUT i was just woken up by a little boy requesting some chocolate milk and so NOW I AM WIDE AWAKE.
and goddamn my wrist HURTS. I guess i will have to have some wrist surgery soon.
kinda ironic really. BUT you would not understand the reason why.and I dont wanna explain.
but fuck it really hurts.
PAIN.
I told my mom yesterday that OUR RELATIONSHIP IS O-V-E-R!! BEYOND OVER!
and so she hung up on me and called my husband.
real mature. instead of calling my husband for sympathy TRY NOT HANGING UP ON ME!
amazing really.
i can barely type THE PAIN in MY WRIST IS SO BAD.
fucking great.
I was watching this 20/20 thing about GENDER and basically it comes down to this: BEING A BOY IS an easy job and WOMEN are fucking KOOKOO for coco puffs, talk toomuch and are way more important.
cereal doesnt even sound good to me.
GOOOSSHH! the pain goes from my wrist all the way to the tips of my fingers and shoots up to my elbow too.
if only wrist surgery would guarantee me a nights stay in the hospital HOOKED up to lots of medical medicine hoses and whatever else.
a nights stay in a hospital sounds like a vacation right now.
but I dont want any hoses down my nose leading into my stomach or anything like that.
i should try going back to sleep.

KISS YOUR NERVES GOOD-BYE!

THATS WHAT A WATCHED LAST EVENING and I sat on the floor where its comfortable.

when you thought I laughed at you

I cant find all of my halloween things. I think my MOTHER has someof my things and THAT is never good.
I want a fog machine but it feels like such a waste of money so I will STEALONE my mom has one but it fucking leaks water all over the stupid fucking place and thats not a good thing that will cause someone ta die and that would RUIN da party.
I have a storage unit and I bet all my things are in there.
????
my storage unit was broken into and things were thrown about and it really made me feel disappointed.
I wont really ever know IF something was stolen cause I dont really know where any of my things actually are.
the weather is unusual today.
and I amnot sure what i should do!
aboutanything.
whatdoido????????
i dont feel good.
its cause I skippedthe gym.
BIG BIG MISTAKE.
I am in no mood.

MAYBE I AM NOT ALLERGIC I COULD TRY A PIECE

I like the new Willy Wonka MAYBE even more than the original.

and maybe the umpa lumpas are a little wierd and annoying but thats just the way the new ones HAD to be.
Its perfect.
yep. I just deleted a whole bunch of stuff.
on purpose.
such a waste.
I need ideas on Halloween costumes.
BUT i wont expect much from all you readers out there.
I need more coffee this morning.
and less YOU!
but you should know that by YOU I mean ME.
everything means something else.
are you hip to the jive?
can you dig what I am laying down?
I knew that you could.
slip me some skin soul brother.

GO EAT A FUCKING BAGEL

borrowing pain pills from my grandma is a bad idea but I went ahead and did it anyway. last night I took one and a half of something. and i was trying to post a late night post but all the letters on my keyboard started to move all around and they wouldnt be still so I decided to just lay somewhere that would b still. I did not eat much dinner either so I started tp feeel a lil queasy then I started to feel sad.
then i guess I fell into a mild coma.
i think I shouldborrow summore.
I also took a bath last night and tried to burn off some layers of my skin with scalding hot water.
did I tell that i am reading 50 cents biography?
its an easy read.

I LEFT THE FACILITY IN A MAD HURRY

I announced "I need to be let brought back in" to an oldold receptionist type lady in a room full of people today and that sounds very dumb so i decided to say it AGAIN outloud just to make sure everyone heard my stupid sentence and then the room of people laughed and laughed and some older black gentleman piped in with: "well established".
whateverthat means.

Kathryn dresses for winter though its summer

MY grandma had surgery on her elbow. I have to go pick her up from the hospital.
I was there all morning. from 645-930.
I would like to work in a hospital.
for a day.

HOW CAN I EXPLAIN THIS?

i dont know whothat littlemean man is that was made. lookslike a werewolf man. and he really does seem alive to me.
and i am not sure what he is wearing.
I dont know what to do with him.
the other day I painted my thumb nail and then I never painted any of the other nails.
that makesme original and cool.
or lazy.
I dont come across as I really am.
today is moving fast.
and I ate a really gross breakfast burrito.

A BROKEN HEART CAN GIVE YOU A MOTHER EFFING HEART ATTACK AND YOU WILL DIE!

losing a loved one can take a serious toll on your health and the news is going to tell me more about that in a few minutes.
the news also told me that the DALI LAMA is here in SO CAL to give women a messgae and I plan on learning what that is also.
a little bit ago they were telling me about the how maybe mona lisa was pregnant and/or lactating during her sitting with leo D. and that explains her smile. but then they go on to say how they will really never know what the deal is with her smile.
ok.
the news is stupid.
everyone is so fucking dumb!
fuck!
see.
great.
All I did was turn on the TV for a littleOprah and now I am getting angry.
but I am trying ttrying to hear about the dali lama and the coping of death stories.
oh forget it.
all I can hear is some crap about jerry springer.
I guess they are talking about dancing with the stars. yep thats mario whatevers voice. aka a.c. slater.
so whatever I dont care about that.
nip/tuck is on tonight and thats pretty neat.
and I bought this new dove deodorant and my armpits are so nice and smooth that if I start to feel a littlesad or something I try to think about my smooth as silk under arms.
they've never looked so good. its rewarding when a product really makes a difference.
ok heres the dali lama story:
1st timefor him to meet just a group women.
women have a gift and must be active
women are more compassionate and more loving.
and have the power to trick the mind into being calm through hard times????
positivity is easier for women????
I am not really in the same room as the TV so I think i heard most of it right.
but basically the dali lama wants women to be active in their community and it will help the world be calm.
cause women are loving and the world needs some more fucking love.
and less bitchy bitch women.
and less men period.
OH JUST KIDDING!
men are great.
god.
OH now they are talking about broken hearts and how grief can really screw up your heart and you should go to the doctor and do yoga.
i am done with THIS post now.

a little help from your friends

I am going to be at the gym for the next two hours.
9-11 to be exact. just so you know and i know and we know.
after that i will do some other various things.
there was a HUGE FROGGY in my pool yesterday BUT i did not have my camera cause I left it along with my phone at some house.
I want a new camera anyways.
NEW!!!
my birthday is very soon.
and i am going to be having a large Halloween party on the 28th.
wanna come?

EVERYDAY ITS ALL WORK THERES NO PLAY

I like to say "pretty sure" and "pretty much" all the time. I notice this.
So i will just go with it. I am pretty sure i drank two bottles of wine last night and I am pretty sure I was pretty much TRASHED!
and am most certain that I drove. yes. and not a short drive either a nice long curvey drive home.
I seemed not drunk. I seemed sober.
and its strange to me cause I looked at my pictures and i dont remember a lot of what i seee. but i felt like ok.
I wanna be one of those WILD AND CRAZY MANIAC DRUNKS. dancing all about and YOU KNOW! OBVIOUSLY DRUNK.
but no I am just cool and collected and sober like.
I do have some video footage but I am laughing like a complete RETARDED JACKASS in the background so I probably wont be sharing those and they do involve a super drunk fireman husband and its just best to keep those videos private.
anyways, i just wanted to confess that i really must have apparently so did go a little overboard with the wine last night.
but it all happened so naturally.
and all turned out ok. AND FOR THAT I AM GRATEFUL.

this is getting interesting

OK...
I woke up a thousand times throughout the night wishing that morning would just hurry the fuck up.
funny how some nights are.
HAHA FUNNY.
so funny that I am pretty sure that I must be on some sort of JOKE TV SHOW.
you have to be fucking KIDDING ME!
right?
its a joke?
you are fucking fucking with me!?
right?!!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA
COOOL!

struggle for existence

sorry to say but I am NOT wanting to go to church today. every morning I leave my house by 9 AM and I am FULLY tired of that crap. and the last few weeks of church have been less than pleasant. but I wont complain.
and someone always has bad breath and that is getting really old. instead of those little wafers they hand out they need little mints.
wanna know what else I am SICK of? peoplewho smoke fucken cigerettes in their fucken house! I am speaking of my mothers household. I walk in the stupid smelly house and its like one big cloud of death floating all around. It gets in my hair, on my clothes, in my lungs and into my blood stream. NOT TO MENTION MY SONS BLOOD STREAM AND CLEAN LUNGS!!
I hate my mom and I hate my stepfather and nothing NOTHING will ever change that FACT!
so when I walk in this death chamber of a house I OF COURSE EXPRESS my ANGER and concern over the fog of second hand smoke and I then everyone looks at me and treats me like a fuckenpsycho. BUT I AM NOT THE PSYCHO! THEY ARE!
so my mom goes and gets some fucken air freshing spray and all that does is make the air thicker. SO I SCREAMED that I DONT WANT AIR FRESHENER I WANT FRESSHHHHH!!!!!! AIIIIRRRR!!!!!!!!!! FUCKEEENNN AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so my stepdad left the house.
I honestly do not know how I ever ever lived in that shithole house. Or how I ever lived with my mother.
and I will not put up with anymore of her household customs.
if i could tell my mom to leave my life forever I would.
but i cant. for a few reasons. I am being very selfless.

today I have A LOT TO DO!!!!!!
and i have a party to attend.
and I think I heard something about tequila also attending.
SOMEpeople "can't" attend cause they are in love with studying and NOT in LOVE WITH ME!
how could that be?
how could someone not love me the most?
but the party is not forme. I forget.

i need to paint my toenails.
for some kooky reason I dont like my feet as much as I used to.

Your Element Is Fire

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame. You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out. You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable. You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go. Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive. Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

What's Your Element?

RELENTLESS BY NATURE

I sat in some sap today and
my grandma happens to be upset with me for no reason WHATsoever.
thats great news.
and I tried to hook up with some peach trees for like the second or third time and its just NOT happening.
and I guess I have a great big fear of red fire ants.
I am certain that they do attack and that they will set our bodies on fire.
and I painted a stupid little pumpkin in like 5 minutes and it is really AWESOMEGREAT! and i will be making 100 more and thensellthem.
orIwilljust make the oneand leave itat that.
but dont get allconfused and think i am talkign about actual pumpkins.ok.
my space bar does not seem to be doing its job 100%of the time.
ohwell. it doesnt matter.

my core is sore.

I was just trying to figure out what the hell I was gonna say today and while doing so I THWHACKED my head really hard on accident. so the first word i though of to type was FUCK! but i thought about it twice and i really dont wanna start my day like that. BUT my day has been going on for awhile. and really what are days? itis all one big long day.
I have to make some serious changes around here.
it does seem like a beautiful day today.
oh yeah the OFFICE was really super funny as always cause it was about GAYS. and being GAY and WHO is GAY and MORE FAGGY STUFF. if you dont watch that show you are faggy and retarded.
I am going to be painting some pumpkins soon.I have my supplies.
and right now I am going on an adventure with my friends.

I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF THAT

JOHN MAYER IS A FUCKING HOTTIE BOOoMmBAAAaaTEEEE! HIS new cd is just amazing.
he has a lot to offer to us.
Hoooold on to whaever you find baaby. hold on to whatever will get you through.
oh some of the songs i just cant believe!!
sorry.I will stop.
I have been noticing how IMMATURE my blog is and how IMMATURE I am as a person.
I forgot my towel at the gym today so i had to let all the sweat run into my eyes and down my cheeks.
it felt like my body was crying.
I worked out hard.
as hard as a mother fucker.
and I looked reallly cute.

no whip cream thanks

GOOOOD MOORNINNNG KATFRAN BLOG!!
I went to sleep last night before 11pm!! and this morning I feel GREAT!!!
I feeel so rested and GREAT!!!
today is Thurday and that is wonderful.
one of my most favorite tv shows comes back tonight!
THE OFFICE! I am sure you like it also.
HAVE YOU HAD ONE OF THoSE PUMPKIN LATTEESSS FROM STARBUCKS?!?
holy moly I need one of thoseright now.
I get mine NON FAT cause betweeen the hours of 6am-11pm I am on a diet.
I need a new bottle of wine too.
I am able to wear my favorite pants now.
they are perfect for the fall.
i bought the 1st season of NIP/TUCK cause THAT SHOW IS FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!!

a job that requires imagination

I am really scared that its close to being the end of the world.
in my dreams it usually is the end of the world.
everything and everyone is scaring me.
today my grandma claimed that my uncle was never FAT and trust YOU ME he was fat.
i was like WHAT THE FUCK GRANDMA!?!?! are YOU KIDDING ME?!
he was always fat.
its like she blocked it from her memory.'funny how your brain can actually control what you remember.
or whatever.
then some fucking spider walked all over me for about 20 seconds.
that was creepy.
and I heard somethiing about some president from Venezuela calling our prez THE DIABLO!
and thats creepy too.
i dont like the looks of any of this.
how can anyone be happy in these sorrowful times?
i guess the best thing you can do is ignore it all and become unaware.
or just be sad all the time and feel guilty for any fun that you do happen to have.
I played with some bunny rabbits tonight.

HIT ME TO HURT ME

I am insecure and very crazy.
the new JOHN MAYER CD IS ACTUALLLY VERY VERY GOOD>
I may have said that I did not like it out loud but that was just me being a bitch.
I need to retrace my steps.
I need to get on the ball.
I need to really get a move on today.
blogging is somewhat boring isnt it?
or is it?
is it exciting?
I made blueberry muffins early in the AM today.
and it tis the seasontime to eat pumpkin stuff. that makes fall even better.
kiss my ass.

ME and U

Yes I like this song, and the whole video concept was stolen from my book.
I think my name should be Cassie. just cause.
i like when she kisses herself in the mirror. cute and important.
she obviously wants to fuck herself.

I DID MY BEST

So what can i blog about now that i will regret 10 minutes later and feel 1005% different and have completly new views?
i am trying hard to get drunk this evening. I say tryinng cause i have this thing that I really dont like th taste of alcohol. funny.
i like like it but i like dont like it.
mmmmmm i love you wine.
UUUGGHHHH I hate you wine.
I dont know who i am or what I am or anything about myself at all.
WHO AM I? WHERE AM I?
y0ou would not know it BUT I actually am qouting LUCY ricardo right now.
but i know it. CAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT LUCY.
BUT I AM trying to talk about me and who I am.
OH last night I found out that I can touch my chin with my tongue.
if i start talking about things and thinking about things then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.
I can not speak. or think.
so its like I have to be a ZOMBIE.
BRRAAAAINNNNNSSSSSSS!!
brrrrraaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnssssssssss.
yep. fucking dumb.
zombies are actually a serious threat.

DO NOT EVER CALL ME COLLECT! EVER AGAIN!

my grandma fell down at some bitches house. the bitches bitch puppy tripped my grandma. she is fine. she just hurt her shoulder badly.
this lady that I am referring to as a bitch is a lady named SAM and she had to DROP my grandma off at the urgent care cause she had an appointment with some bingo markrers and bingo cards.
its funny to me. I wanna say that lady pisses me off and I waannnna scream at her but I figure NO BIG DEAL.
I did notmind, sometimes even I can be somewhat of an asshole.
sorry to say but i walk around thinking everyone is an idiot asshole.
for the most part.

i believe that
I AM IN SHOCK!

“If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.”

CHECK OUT MY APPLE PIE!!!!!!!

I sliced the apples so very thin.

GOD BLESS

Church sucked. The music sounded ugly. Everyone was fully aware that the guy playing guitar was out of tune and he ruined the whole OUR FATHER PRAYER.
and I was sure my Grandma was gonna die immediatly after recieving communion. she was not well throughout the mass.
BUT on the ride home I was fortunate enough to catch some BIG POPPA on my XM and that really made it worth the trip.
I am going to atempt to bake an apple PIE NOW!!!!!! ITS GONNA BE VERY AMERICAN.

THIS IS MY GLORIOUS PUNCH BOWL

I dont know what the fuck happened today. A bunch of fucking crazy stuff. I dont even wanna explain.
this blog would not understand and I cant explain.
OK FINE! one thing-I ran into an old childhood friend from the old childhood nieghborhood.
I was embarassed to say anything to this person but then I BURSTED OUT SOME WORDS and kinda sounded RUDE.
the encounter stirred up some stuff I didnt feel like stirring.
nevermind nothing was stirreed.what a stupid thing to say.
I am making a big deal about nothing.
its dumb.
its just a small world. everyone is very close at all times.
we are all together.
its wonderful.

I love Threes Company.

Tomorrow is church and who knows what esle.
now good night and forget about this.

I AM SENSITIVE TO OTHER PEOPLES FEELINGS

I MADE A DELISH OF A DINNER TONIGHT. Anything made with 1 cup of sour cream is gonna turn out better than good.
and sometimethis weekend iam baking an apple pie. I was going to do it today but i got sleepy and then I got a headache.
I would not have beenableto focus clearly.
SOmetimes I set out to go doa certain something like go to a certain PLACE and I will get ALLLLL the way there FIGHT through the heartless traffic and all then ONCE I arrive to the PLACE i decide FUCK THIS I dont wanna go here. and then I leave.
today It was TARGET> I made it to the parking lot. and I left in a mad rush. too much commotion.
SO I was lucky enough that I heard George W BUSH talkin today on the TV and he basically said that we will be attacked again and we all will suffer and die and we better just stopbeing big fat cry babies and accept our fate. IT WAS INSPIRING> and why the hell is he always trying to make the reporters feel stupid? he got upset at some lady reporter cause she said "HI Mr. PRESIDENT." whats wrong with that?
he is such a cock.
and thats all.

ITS OBVIOUSLY SUMMER LOVE

I am suddenly very sad that summer is over. Its just the ebsttime of the entire year and that is that. NOW I have to wait many months for it to come back. and who is to say I will even enjoy next summer?
I like having a tan. FROM the sun not a tanning bed. AND THIS IS THE SECOND FUCKING YEAR IN A ROW tHAT I DID NOT GO TO THE BEACH!! well, I was in the ocean for a bit BUT I was not on the beach. I like the beach and ilike WAVES and I LIKE TO SWIM IN THE FUCKING OCEAN. I am angry that summer is over. and the beach is only LIKE 45 MINUTES AWAY!! WHAT A WASTE! bUT isnt everythink a waste? this whole deal. THATS IT!! I am goign to the beach. TOMORROW> I dont care if the temp has dropped like 20 degrees in the past TWODAMN days.
It was a littel ABRUPT of summer! and ABRUPT IS RUDE. you at least could linger around for awhile. NOT just up and SPLIT! with ZERO warning.
I HAVE HAD IT WITH SUMMMER! I am so fucking mad at summer. we may never speak again.
FALL AND WINTER ARE MY NEW BEST FRIENDS AND WE ARE ABOUT TOHAVE A FUCKING SLUMBER PARTY!
obviously summer does not need or want us.
BUT i already feel guilty for talking so harshly about Summer.
FUCK!
and I guess I should not take it personally.
Its acually the earths fault.
Summer has nocontrol, its all the stupid EARTH!
BUT THEN AGAIN I cant go BLAMING THE EARTH!!
BUT I need to blame somebody.
fine. ME> I BLAME me FOR LOVIING SUUMMMMER SOOO MUCH!
my fault.
sorry.

GOD DOES NOT PAY TAXES

that plate says GODSLNC.
i bet the family is probably BApTIST and the Daddy is probably the preacher of that BApTIST church.
and that is GODS LINCOLN that they drive. fucking ludacris.
I am trying to CROCHET and all I am coming up with is knots and i cant figure out how to get my fingers to do what they are Supposed to do!
I get upset cause I want to make some stuff and have it be cool!
AND I WANT TO BE CRAFTY!

RIGHT NOW PIGGLY

ALRIGHT fine I wILL BLOG>FINE!I will just give in. YOU WIN!
well I go to the gym EVERYDAY. except sundays. EVEERYDAY.
It feels a little strange. LIKE a job. and I hate alljobs.
IT OK though. BUT i do love my abs.
I am so critical of myself. and i should be. and you too.
BE CRITICAL and tear yourself down.
then once and awhile just think OH I cant really be THAT bad.
ok do that.
I would liketo mention the SUDDEN change in weather.
thats a little eerie.
I think everything is eerie.
and I always think I am recieving messages.
everything is a message.
from God.
from you.
from my deceased father.
from John Lennon.
messages and answers are floating all around my head and some at a very high speed.
I cant keep up and my brain cant grasp all these informations.

inflicted by divine sentence

DO YOU LIKE MOTHS? I hear they have long tongues. this moth is a tiger moth and it waS on my porch. doesnt look scary to me,
but that MOTHMAN PROPHECY movie with RICHARD GERE is fukcing scary and I know that the moth man is real and i should not even be speaking of him. fuck.
oh I dont know. I cut my fathead bangs and now I look like a twelve year old. what an error in judgement that was.
i have to fucking go play a video game.

DOIN EVERYTHING WRONG AT THE WRONG TIME

RIGHT NOW I am hanging out in my closet.
its WICKED COOOL in here. there are shoes and purses, and BOOTS and dresses and hangers and boxes with coool stuff inside!
I came so close to not having the cleaning crew come today. SOoo close, but then I realized I would have to go buy a mop and other cleaning type things.
I totally fucked up my plans.
I had big big plans. and at some point in time I fucked it all up.
I cant really figure out where i lost track of time or where I forgot my big big plans.
I cant really even remember what my big big plans were.
I just know that I had some fucking plans and I fucked them up.
I fucked myself.

TAKE A TEASY

I love Lucy.
forever.
I start to do things and then i just quit and walk away leaving what i started in a big mess.
But eventually i get backto it.
Nobody picks up after me.
oh yeah the stupid Molly maids are coming.
I need to fire them.

HELLO. WHATS GOING ON HERE?

I slept very soundly last night and its really a shame that it had to end.
I did not even get up at 3am to eat the entire ICEBOX.
sometimes instead of saying refrigerator I say ICEBOX.
and sometimes instead of SPA I say JACUZZI.
WOW!
I get to go to a party ON SATURDAY THAT WILL HAVE PONIES!!!
I need a new pair of jeans.
anyone wanna go jean shopping with me?
YESTERDAY OPRAH was ALL about BRAS and JEANS and BRAS and JEANS.
I got sooo involved with the show that I took OFF my shirt and BRA and watched the entire show TOPLESS.
and I wore my jean skirt as a belt.
OPRAH inspires me to think out of the box.

I MADE SOME MEATLOAF LAST NIGHT.
my grandma said it was good but i think she was just being kind.

#889

I CANT FIGURE OUT IF I WANNA TAKE A NAP OR PLAY SOME TETRIS.
MAYBE I COULD DO BOTH?
I'D ALSO LIKE SOME CHIPS AND PEPSI.
I have taken like a trillion videos today and they are all berry boring.

THE DOGS TOOK HER AWAY AND SHE WAS EATIN UP

I am very very worried and concerned about you and the rest of the entire planet. so much negativity. and it starts small and then gets larger.
and I worry that you dont care. .
WHEN I SAY "SO you dont LIKE THIS?" and YOU say "I DONT LIKE ANYTHING!!" and when I say "I like things" and you say "YOU LIKE CRAP!" then thats negativity. and its not like even funny. its not even a joke.
everyone is annoyed with everything.
its like we live in annoying times.
AHhhhhhhh I did a lil yoga and passed out in the end. i would like to bring some insense to yoga and maybe a trickling waterfall. they should pass out joints after yoga class is over. something! GOSH!
arent you always searching for new ways to feel good?
yesterday between 4-8 ish I felt really unwell.
nevermind.I thought i would say some more things. something about some fucking stupid half dead ballooon floating around BUT nevermind.
I think I was gonna also say that i have been seeing ghosts and dreaming of this weird lady.
I think.
or maybe its my uncle.
or both.
either way I need to just shut up.

I stepped on a pair of tweezers yesterday and they broke.
sonow I need new.
tweezers are fun and very handy.
I dont understand why I was forced to break the ones I had.

GIVE ME MILK GIVE ME HONEY GIVE ME NUTS

this is my favorite cereaL.
MY air conditioner is blowing some really cold air on me right now.
freezing cold.
Its fun to hang out in large freezers.
I have worked in two restaurants and the freezer was always a good place to chill out.
HAHAHAAHA CHILL OUT!!!!! HAHAHAA GET IT!!!!!???
but seriously.
tonight in the kitchen I made some spaghetti sauce in a crock pot with stuff like zuccini and more good healthy things like salt.
I am really getting in touch with my kitchen skills.
pretty much everything I make in the kitchen turns out perfect.
BUT its a secret.
nobody wants to come out and say it.
we wouldnt want me thinking that i am GOOD at anything.
that would not be good.
so its a secret how good I really am.
really i am not good.
I am a messy mess in the kitchen.
I need to have a better work space.
I hate kitchens.
all the kitchens in my lifeSUCK.
EVERY KITCHEN GIVES ME A BAD DREAM.
hauntedkitchens.

YOU ARE A ROCK TO ME

Its good to look forward.
I need more sleep.
I look forward to going to the doctor so i can get a sleeping pill prescribed to me.
I should just get all the medicine man has to offer.
i dont actuallly really have a doctor appointment but I should go ahead and make one.
so i can get my delicate hands on some PILLS!
I always wanted to carry a pill box around with me.
ONE TIME WHEN I WAS LIKE 4 I TOLD ALL THE KIDS ON THE BLOCK THAT I HAD TO DRINK STRAIGHT LEMON JUICE OR I WOULD GET SICK AND DIE.
what a dumb lie.

I made some salsa last day and it was EZ to make. and it was almost GR8.
I should spend more time in the kitchen.

to write graffiti on

AIDENN TAGGED ME!!! she pisses me off.
just kiddin' o' course.
so here it is:

1) Are you happy/satisfied with your blog’s content and look?
Never and always

2) Does your family know about your blog?

not really. I try to get my family interested but they all just ignore me.
but my sister, Carrie of course knows. she knows lots.
My mother in LAW used to visit BUT I think she thinks I quit. SOOooo i guess maybe its possible she still visits. BUT I doubt it.


3) Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog? Do you consider it a private thing?
NO. and no.


4) Did blogging cause positive changes in your thoughts?

no.

5) Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or do you love to go and discover more by yourself?

I look at a few different blogs and pretty much I think they all suck.
except for Carries.

6) What does a visitor counter mean to you? Do you like having one on your blog?

nothing and I dont care.


7) Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?

I dont really understand this question.
I like blogs with pictures.
a blog with only lines and lines and lines of text gives me a MIGRAINE.
and I think that ALLLL Blogs should have ooodles AND OODLES OF pictures OF ME!

8) Admit it. Do you think there is any real benefit in blogging?

NO! its a waste of time and nobody cares.

9) Do you think that blogger’s society is isolated from the real world or interaction with events?

no.GOSH!

10) Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it’s a normal thing?

it annoys me and I dont wanna hear annnnnnny CRITICISM EVER or i will cry cry CRY!

11) Do you fear some political blogs and avoid them?

yes and yes

12) Were you shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?

bloggers arrestes?? huh? I dont think I know about this.
they probably deserved it! fucking criminals.

13) What do you think will happen to your blog after you die?

it will live on forever and be admired by many.

14) What song do you like to hear? What song would you like to link to on your blog?

UNDERWATER LOVE by SMOKE CITY.

15) The next “victims”?

CARRIE, STEVEN and KRISTEN. BUT they probably dont have anytime for such nonsense.

THATS FREAKIN MAROOOOON YOU IDIOT!!!

I love milk.
I cant get enough milk.
AS OF LATE my leg muscles have been twitching at night and I think that is weird.
my pitiful, weak, skimpy muscles.
I am almost positive that I am a sleep walker.
I fall asleep one place and wake up in another place.
pretty much sounds like sleep walking to me.
Today i baked somecookies and they are very very moist and tomorrow i am going to BAKE SOME PEACH PIES!!
maybe.
either that or crochet a scarf.
or both.

DANE COOK IS ON MY TELLY SO I GOTS TO GO!

MY CAR WASH VIDEO

I feel like this video was going well but then i messsed it up.
i decide to put my face in it.
mistake.
hopefully i will get better at video taking.
i guess it doesnt really matter.

MOI

Digging holes must be my favorite activity.
Almost all my most favorite activities lead to selfdistructive outcomes. that is totally COOL.
all my mishaps define my me.
thats meant to be funny.
fuck me and my fucked up reality.
BUT its true that this blog is not really for me. its for you really.
but if only you got the whole picture.
and I have to remind myself that nobody really does get the whole picture.
for sure not me.
I dont understand a freaking thing.
everyday I feel more and more aware of that.
and I also realize daily that i am wasting a lot of my time for ME.
and this blog for you.

family is different

Everything is messy.
I can not keep anything clean.
I am so tired.
September is making me mad enough to spit.
August was FUN and EXCITING and MORE.
but so far September SUCKS.
and then October will be here, then November, then December.
I am sooooooo sick of it all..
and I KNOW that I have friends and blah blah blha and I love my friends yaddayaddayadda.
but sometimes I really dont see where the LOVE is.
but can you see love?
i should feel the love.
now I think I lost my train of th0ought and my point has flown the stupid coop.
but I dont have a point.
i am just a stupid nobody fathead.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
I lost my atm card thing.
great.

I SEE THAT YOU BELIEVE ME

I did not make my eggs this morning. I had a donut and coffee instead.
NOW I am going to go workout.
My AUnt used to own a donut shop. she had a HUGE ASS.
BUT i never realllly saw her eat a donut, so maybe you can get a FAT butt just from the smell alone.
who cares?
my donut did not even taste that good.
thanks a lot.
Played Tetris on my XOBOX SOME MORE LAST NIGHT.
DRANK SOME WINE TOO.
IT SUCKED!
I am so annoyed with you.
My son goes to schoool only 3 days a week BUT this week MONDAY was a holiday so he had NO school BUT we still had to pay. SO the preschool manager lady said I could bring him in today BUT MY son is TOO smart and he knows that today is FRIDAY and he KNOWS that FRIDAY is not a school day for him so he is refusing to go.
what can ya do?
School sucks and he knows it.
It is wayyy betterterrerer to stay home with MOM.

I feel like an ear ache.

I am not for sure sure about what i should do for sure.
all day long I try to figure it out.
I wish I did not have to eat cereal before i go to bed.
its like a routine that i cant get out of.
repugnant is a funny word that I do not use enough.
so many words that i dont use enough.
i would like to wake up around 7 am and make somescramb;edeggs.
i got this like NEW EGG STUFF. i guess its egg whites with some stuff in ti to make TERRIFUCK scrmabled fucking eggs!
and I CAN NOT WAIT TILL MORNING! i guess i will just plan on that.
plan on making eggs,
in the morning.
thats all i will plan for.
i really dont know what else iwill do.
nerve racking.

WELL ISNT THAT JUST GRAPE!

WELL OK I got Tetris yesterday.I found it USED for 12.99 BUT then the game guy said that all he ACTUALLY had was tetris worlds/starwars pod driving combo thing. SO cool. and it was 9.99. two games for 9.99. lucky lucky.
I was in this game store for like 40MINUTES!! my legs couldnt take it. I had to sit on their game store floor.
so last night when I was settled in at home I played the TETRIS forlike 20minutes and then my eyes started to hurt and the music was starting to fuck with my thoughts so I stoppped playing and felt disappointed.
BUT I am anxious to play again.
BUT not now.
NOW I need a shower.
I really need to PUSH myself.
I recently discovered I am very lazy.

WHEN WILL I EVER BLOG AGAIN?

I prefer wheat bread.
today is not really getting anywhere.
my eye lashes are getting tangled together when I blink/wink today and thats irritatingly bothersome.
I wish I had a sweet video game to play on my XBOX.
but i dont.
I want TETRIS!!
OK!!!
CAN ANY OF YOU HANDLE THAT FOR ME?!?!
my birthday is like less than 2 months away!
I really dont deserve anything.
so just forget it.
and i just yelled and screamed a bit ago.
here onmy blog and in real actual LIFE.
Yelling and screaming is not how good girls behave.
I dont want anything for xMAS either.
I am going to PLUCK OUT MY EYELASHES!

All that hate's gonna burn you up inside

SO I am POSITIVE that there is something really strange about TOM and KATIE CRUISE.
they are like liars. there is no baby! they are just covering up that he IS GAY!
KATIE is stupid to be involved in such a thing.
stupid stars. I am going to BOYCOT HOLLYWOOOD!
I am sick of all their stupid bullshitstupidCRAP!
What I originally intended to say right now was something about how much i HATE HATE talking to robots on the phone.
one lady robot today actually laughed at me.
she was like haha I dont understand you haha
YOU ARE A ROBOT YOU STUPID ROBOT! I HATE YOU!
and I was speaking very cleary.
and then I got even more mad cause she was actually getting to me.
the robot was making me make a scene in my living room.
I know that if I was just talking to a regular human I would have been just fine.
I dont really think I could ever get along with a robot.
ever.
REMEMBER V.I.C.I??
even she was sorta snobby.