DONT SMOKE ANY DOPE

I AM TOTALLY OFF TRACK. No its cool I am leaving for my festivalof FUN in a moment.
MAYBE I will score some SHROOMS and TOTALLY TRIP OUT and RUN UP ON STAGE WITH MADONNA AND MAKE OUT WITH HER!!!!
Yep tahts whats goin down today.
MAKE OUT WITH MADONNA IS ON MY LIST!
SCORE SOME SHROOMS IS ON MY LIST!
will I buy any shirts for close personal friends??
PROBABLY NOT!!

I woke up feeliing really poopy.
Muy stomach was just not right.
I guess its all the anticipation of the uupcoming evnests.
I would feel like taht when I was little right before going to DISNEYLAND.

I am a bad typer and I don;t care. This is not school work.
I won;t be graded. and even if I was I would not care.

AND OH YEAH!!! I LOOK REALLY SUPER AWESOME TOO!!!
But that goes without saying.

Ok. go and hate on me now.

bow your heads

MAGICAL MAGICAL MAGICAL I AM SO AMAZING AND MAGICAL.
Church was a treat beyond words.
When I first arrived the SUN WAS BLASTING MY FACE.
and this couple that was sitting in the pew with us LEFT and sat in another PEW.
BONUS.
BUT what I want to say is that SUN IN MY FACE WARMS MY SOUL.
I get over emotional in church.
I always just wanna cry. Let the tears stream down my face.
Cup my face in my hands and sob.
I also feel this way during some movie previews.
I am an emotional ghirl.
so emo.

LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE

secret stuff secret stuff I believe in secret stuff.
SO sometimes I get so madand frusterrated with thingys that I willI shake my tiny fists in the air.
LIKE A SPAZ ATACK.
I am on way way to see the lord since I messed up and bought those DAMN COACHELLA TICKETS.
and wont be able to accompany my G-MA to church this sunday.
So we are attending the Saturday MASS.
and I amprobably going to casue us to be late.
FUCK THE PHONE IS RINGING.

AAAAAHHHFFUUUUCCKKIIINNNCHHHHOOOOOO!!!

BUT today in the movies there was a COMMERCIAL for those goodnights diaper things for kids.
And I was LIKE YEAH ITS OK KIDS. Don't feel ashamed. Its ok. and I just understood..
One timewhen Iwas little I wet the bed and I tried to blame the dog.
I was embarrassed.
dang it. I still like to blame others for my doings.
Bladders are annoying.
Bodily functions are just a huge iinconvenience for me.
Except sneezing.
I do enjoy that.
Is that I bodily function?
I guessit is.
why am I so dumb?
of course that it is a bodily function. its a function your body does.
a bodily function.
My sister was saying that blogging becomes like a bodily function.
Its like a virus for me.

OH and lately when I am OUT I hear the people grunting at me.
THEY like make huffing noises when they pass me.
like they have a PROBLEM WITH ME!
I feel that I really pick up on these vibes that these poeple give out.


but i could just be paranoid.

LIVING THE LIFE I AM LEADING

I want to OWN two of those things. They are $100 a piece. YOWSERS! they are at Target and I LOVE THEM!
I think they would lookgood by my pool.
My Grandma had two lions by her pool. very simular to these.
BUT HERS were like STONE and these are like PLASTIC or something.
I dunno.
I probably won't get them.
Today I am wearin an antique skirt from the 60's or something.
IF you saw it YOU'D wanna RIP it off of me and parade around in it.
Its very fancy.

CAN YOU SEE THROUGH?

THOUGHTIT'DBEXTRACOOLO'METOPOSTASHOTWITHZEROMAKEUP.

I know I said that I wasnt gonna talk to u today but thats what i's do.
Isayone thing but MEAN another. I am a puzzle.
MISSING A FEWPIECES.
Might as well be TRASH. USELESS JUNK REAALLY.

AND MY BLOG IS MY LIFE!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME>!>!!??!?! MY LIFE@@
I LOVE MY BLOG AND I VUCKING HATE IT!
PISSOFF BLOGGER!
please don't.
Iloveyou.

NOW I AMGOING TO GO DRINK 10 SHOTS OF TEQUILLA AND SMOKE AN OUNCE FOR MY DEAD RELATIVES.
all before noon.
sweet YO!

BRUTALITY AND MORE

Only two more episodes of THE O.C.Partys over.OR IS THE PARTY JUST BEGINNING??DUH DUH DUH BUUMBUUMBUUM duh duh bum bum bum thats supposed to be some sort of dance beat.....
....lame
partys over.
I am going to sleep and TOMORROW I AM NOT SPEAKING TO YOU!!
I hope i don't dreamof anything too weird. Or lay in bed thinking torture thoughts.
I hate that.
Makes me wanna eat cereal and leftovers.
damn devil always fucking w/me.

CANT THINK OF THE RIGHT TITLE

I just like to prove that I am clean and not dirty.
thats why I post pictures of me in the shower.
I don't know just who I am proving this to.
I don't have to prove anything to anyone.
ESPECIALLY YOU.

AND THIS WILL BE THE LAST SHOWER PICTURES FOR AWHILE.
I am sure you are all thankful.
or not.
I don't even know why I am lettting you know this.
this should be classified.

and you know what is ridiculous?
FUEL IS THREE EFFING FIFTEEN!!
thats ridiculous.


LOTSS OF RIDICULOOUS THIIINGSSS ARE ALLWAYS HAPPPENING ALLLL AROUUND MEEEE.
RICICULOUSNESS.
I am sure you feel the same.

IF ONLY YOU COULD BE HER

TONIGHT FOR DINNER I AM MAKING SOME KICK ASS STIR FRY MOTHER EFFERS!
I don't knowwhay I am so immature. I have asked myself that question everyday for my entire life.

My Grandma used to say that I was street smart.
MEANING that I WAS NOT BOOK SMART.

I made Pancakes this morning that where so fluffy and so perfect.
I am a perfect pancake maker.
But everyone can makes pancakes. Its not some magical art.

OH and I can't talk normally with this thing in my lip.
It must be annoying for some.
But it cool.
I talk cool.

No one in the whole universe Will ever compare

LAst night I DREAMT ABOUT PRINCE. He really really really wanted to have the sex with me and I sorta felt obligated to do so. BUT I don't think we ever got around to it. Prince is wierd. He wanted me to shove BARBIE dolls up his butt. I know thats not a nice thing to say or even think about but THATS WHAT HE WANTED. strange.

you will go to sleep early and wake up early

I went out in the world for awhile today and RAN INTO EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM.
literally. It seems that CHILIS IS WHERE ITS AT NIGGA. if you are with your mom. but I was not with mymom. but I am a mom. typing this crap seems meaningless. like you DONT EVEN GET WHAT I AM SAYING! YOU DON'T GET IT!
people sitting in the booth next to mine prayed before they ate. how rude.
they held hands and prayed.
I just eat when my food comes.
maybe I thank the server.

i can't imagine how horrible it must be to be blind. I would rather be deaf.
Cause then you could still feel the vibrations.BUT TO BE BLINd?!??!
everything is just gone.
what about losing your sense of TASTE!?
sometimes that could be useful.
BUT I WOULD NEVER WANNA BE BLIND.

ok I can't think of anything more to say.
maybe I should get drunk?

YOUR LOVER SMELLS LIKE TAR. REALLY.

I yelled and called my friend DUMB yesterday.
I am extremely mean and have no problem hurting feelings.
I felt bad afterwards but what could I do?
ONE TIME I was on the freeway driving to VENICE BEACH with a really good good close close friend named Christina,and she was responsible for letting me know WHICH exit to take and she totally screwed up the whole thing and I TOTALLY LOST IT!!! I TOLD HER THAT SHE WAS STUPID STUPID STUPID and that i could not take it ANY LONGER.
IT WAS QUITE THE SCENE. I think that I was also following my cousin or something and we lost him.
I DONT know this was like 9 years ago or some bull like that.
SHE WAS 25 AND I WAS 18. I remember thinking GOSH 25 IS SO OLD. She has her own apartment and everything.
anywaaayss After I WIGGED out on her I pulled over and apologized profusely and I felt like an ASSSSHOLE. assholeness runs in my family right alongside of creativity and BRAIN POWER.

we never talked again. I think she moved to SAn Diego.
I bet she thinks of me still. or not.

BUT MY POINT IS I AM A WALKING TIME BOMB AND AT ANY MINUTE I MAY EXPLODE.
sorry Christina Daugherty.

MOMS ACROSS AMERICA

Some of my fingernails are disgustingly long. Right now my left thumb nail is the worst, long and pointy. My nails are strong. BUT they are too long and make me sick.
MAIDS just arrived and I am going to eat speggehti and watch TV on the couch.
I don;t know how to spell speggahti. and I figure it does not really matter.
and its an interesting fact about me.
I don't know how to spell spegahti.
ANOTHER INTERESTING FACT ABOUT ME is If I watch TV during da day I catch myself watching SOAPS.
I think they make me feel comfortable or something.
BUT they also make me feel gay.
i don;t even know what the storyline is.
Right now a lady is giving a gentleman a bath.
WIth bubbles.
and candles.
and he has a large scratch on his head.
he must have been in an arguement.
OR A CAT ATTACK.
OR A PLANE CRASH.
OR A BOMB EXPLOSION.
who knows?
i bet my Grandma does.
i think my pasta with marinara sauce is ready.

CAN I PLAY GAMES?

I am eating lucky charms. and drinking Sunny D.
SUGAR EXPLOSION!
Last night I has some of the best sleep in my life. I felt so COZY and PEACEFUL.
then my brother who is in JAPAN woke me up. WHICH IS NICE CAUSE I MISS HIM.

I opened up a bag of chips last night and it was SO LOUD it sounded like the END OF ZE WORLD.

SO maybe I wont have to go to the festival alone. MAYBE my husband can get the day OFF. MAYBE.
Either way I think I will survive.
EVERYTHING WILL BE OK!!!!!!!!

I want to see MADONNA. WHAT THE HECK WILL THAT BE LIKE???
crowded. thats what.
I usually don't like crowds.
SOME HO will bumb into me and RIP my lipring out.
great.

NOW I HAVE TO GO.
MISS ME PLEASE.

bees make honey

I feel comfortable taking pictures of myself pretty much at all times. IN THE GROCERY STORE. IN OTHER PEOPLES HOUSES. PREEEETTY MUCH all the time. I figure thats what I DO. I GUESS I do ocasionally take a picture of something or someone else. I should relax with the picture taking. Its like I am obsessed. WELL I GUESS I AM. OBSESSED WITH MYSELF. why is THAT such a negative thing? SHOULDNT I be? IT IS MY WORLD.
I think that I DO LIKE my WORLD. EVEN WHEN I DON'T I DO.
Today was a good fun day. Tomorrow will be too. SUMMER IS COMING
constantlychanging.

ASK YOURSELF, "WHAT WOULD CYNDI LAUPER DO?"

Ok. I have been doing nothing but nothing today. I have HEAPS of laundry and HEAPS of cluttter begging to be put away but I just smile and roam from one place to the next.
I just DITCHED my good friend so I could say this. BUT I AM ON MY WAY BACK.
I have to go to get some stuff at the store and THEN I WILL BE BACK.
ANYWAYS. I think that my lip ring will aide in my battle against FOOD.
I really have to go. I don't have time. This post is just a waste of time. BUT I BET YOU APPRECIATE IT.
AND THATS WHAT COUNTS.
AND If you DONT THEN F U!

and then there was ME

I was pierced by a PIRATE! I swear! he had a hook.
fucking cool.
I have to pee.

you just don't want to be around me

there I am about a yr ago. I look happy.
Today I am NOT.
My feelings feeel hurt and my bra is not fitting me.

did you feel that?

WHAT THE FUDGE IS UP WITH THOSE SHADOWS?
Ghosts.
I was making a declaration to one of my LAME friends earlier, I was screaming something about JESUS and then I heard my dead cat JAKE BLUES meowin in the background of my hysterical rant.
A few times. he sounded lost.
then I was struck by lightening and I died but came back to life.
powerful.

..................................blow

I am so MAD!I bought some tickets to this for Sunday and thought FOR SURE I would be able to find someONE to come with me. I was WRONG! SO I won'tgo. Or I will go alone. I don't know. crap. I am truly an idiot.
i should not have JUMPED the GUN. I should NOT HAVE BOUGHT THEM!!!!! AARHAGAGAHHDGAUGDHJ I am SOOOOO MAD!!!
I will be fine. I will go alone. I will have fun. WHATEVER.

SMOKE AND MIRRORS

I bought some tickets to something. and it looks like I will be going alone.
I should not have even bought them. ONCE AGAIN I BLAME MY BI-POLARISM. Whatever. I am going. HELL OR HIGH WATER.
alone.
UH whatelse...
My house is TRASHED!!!!
BUT I now have Inlet Blue and Lemongrass walls.
lovely.
My answering machine has beeen beeping for OH TWO HOURS NOW! I need to just turn off that feature.
I don't neeed to be constantly reminded taht I have a message. I don't care.
I went through a Pirate FUNHOUSE today. It was a 5 foot DARK AS FUCK hallway that led straight out. It was scary. But it was over quickly.

I love carnivals.
and festivals.

stay with your own kind

I can't decide what to do this morning. I hate that.
you know that movie CREEPSHOW is pretty freaking creepy.
Last night I dreamt of waterslides and a beat some man up at some sort or ceremony. He gave me some rude comment and I just beat him up. I am very strong and forceful. especially in my dreams. After I beat this man up I had to RUN from the law.
very intense scene.
FRICENFRACK. Should I go to the gym or stay home and eat pancakes and drink coffee?? I CAN't DECIDE!!! ARRRGGGGHHH!!
why do I have to be in charge of my own life??? can't someone just order me around!
oh and BEES and ANTS are communists a holes.

Do you have to stand that close???

DUDE! I HAVE A HORRIBLE ANGER ISSSUE. Today my friend who shall remain anonymous kept saying OVER and OVER "you look really upset", "you look really angry". AND I would say inside my head,"really? Am I really upset and angry?"
But it is easy to get mad and upset. Long lines make me mad and upset. Three year old boys in pairs make me mad and upset. Not feeling full after eating lunch makes me mad and uspet. Other people make me mad and upset.
My anwering machines beeps every like ten seconds or so if there is a message waiting to be heard. and sometimes it will be beeping for HOURS and I just ignore it. And Sometimes I get upset and mad at it. Usually when I am taking a nap. I always hope that the 10 seconds or so will actually turn into every hour or so, but it does not. It just keeps beeping and beeping. Till my nap is ruined and I get up. and eventually listen to the BULLSHIT MESSAGE FROM SOME BULLSHIT COMPUTER LADY!
that makes me mad and upset.
OH and my I stepped in pee and so I am wearing a pee soaked sock. WHat is that?
I smell like pee.
that makes me mad and upset.
but all in all today is pretty good.

I have peed my pants so many times in my life.
not lately though.

In a moment

I forgot how to make coffeee I guess. Because every pot I make tastes like litter. Its either too strong or is brown water. And I am starting to get really mad. I bought a BIG new can of coffee from Trader Joes and nearly bled to death in my kitchen trying to open the ancient can. CAN OPENERS are immature.
Either way I am drinking coffee that is not satisfactioning me. I should just drink tea. But I read somewhere that coffee raises your IQ and I figure I need all the help I can get.
I thought about maybe turning on my pool heater today so I could have a POOL PARTY tomorrow but NEVERMIND!!
POOOL PARTY IS CANCELLED.
I would like to recap what i dreamt about last night but I can't remember.

yes

I wish that everyone would just be nice and not take things so personally or literal.
I and I wish that peoplewould just all be the same. that way I would not have to figure everyone out. I could just figure ONE person out and be done. BUT NO! ALL YOU ASSHOLES HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT.
Different faults.
Different qualties.
different everything.
NO ONE IS THE SAME.
so it is almost like I know no one.
but I do know a lot of people.
DID I mention that tonight is the O.C.?
well ti is.

MY STORIES INFINITE

sometimes throughout my day i wish i had a witness to witness just how incredible I am.
But also I am glad no body is around.
I passed a mirror a minute ago and I was like Oh WOW look AT THAT PERSON.
then I realized it was me.
Today is WOW LOOK AT ME DAY.
AMAZED AM I.
and yes.

DON'T CALL ME DADDY

mmmmmm fruit.
When I sleep I am always holding myself.
Like I have to pee or something. Weird. I can't help it.
There are many things I can not help.
you being one of them.
I can't help you. well maybe I can.
I am helpful.
LAst night I watched NAKED SCIENCE and they told me that ANY MINUTE A HUGE ASTROID IS GOING TO KILL ME!!!AND YOU!!!
I was drunk and stoned.
I need a nap.

EVERY THREE MINUTES

I KNOW I AM A LIKEABLE PERSON.
I AM GOOD FUN.
I MAKE EVERYONE LAUGH AND EVERYONE ALWAYS TELLS ME HOW FUNNY I AM.
I AM A RIOT.
I AM VERY ENTERTAINING AND I MAKE EVERYTHING FUN.
I AM JUST GREAT.
ASK ANYONE.
I KNOW.
RIGHT NOW I AM OOZING FUN AND LAUGHTER.
I AM LIKE A THREE RING CIRCUS.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HAG? HO!

This is me feeling totally fucked.
SO out of touch with the real.
Bippity Bobbity BOO.
I don't even know why I bother.
Opened up a bottle of wine and I am hoping to numb my legs.
I feel sore all over. Everything takes such an effort.
Even breathing.
and yeah my elbow still hurts.
I complained about my elbow all day. and my blood blister.
I can't be good company.
I was in good company for most of the day.
BUT I ZONE OUT. and I get behind in conversations.
Like I am halfway there.
Nobody gets my full attention.
Not even me.

AND THANKS FOR ALL THE AMAZING INSPIRATIONAL COMMENTS.
thank goodness for them.

SICKa BEing

TODay has been HAZARDOUS. I hurt my elbow badly. I pinched my hand in between some weightsand now there is a nasty, painful blood blister on the side of my palm. great. this is my left arm. the right is fine.
Oh well I do have this strange pain every so often in my right hand.
so there is that.
Maybe I DO MASTERBATE TOO MUCH.
I am a pervert.
a sick slut really.
OK thats all.
YOU ARE LUCKY THERE IS THIS!
now you go and masterbate.
bastards and hags.

just shutdown

i might be bi polar. My mood swings too drastically.
But I figure that eventually it will swing my way.
And I HATE THIS BLOG.
I should love my blog.
i need a drink.
AND I am canceling my myspace account.
JUST CAUSE.
Just cause it will make me that MUCH COOOLER.
lord help me.
please.
and maybe I will cancel the comments on my blog.
JUST CAUSE.

Nevertheless

I am an asshole idiot retard.
Because of the level of my retardation, I find it hard to interact with anybody.
I lack something.
I am in need of some electric shock therapy.
I OVERUSE THE WORD "JUST". JUST JUST JUST JUST.
its an awful word.
J U S T
but I think it is my favorite word.
It means so many things.
I am just so sad.
I am just so happy.
I am just so ashamed.
It was just a moment ago.
It just had to happen.
It just was the best.
You just had to be there.
You just walked in.
You just walked out.
Just a little bit. Just a touch.
Just awhile. I just should stop.
I just will. just the same.

I am supposed to be going on a trip.
and sorry about these lame ass pictures.

I'd like to hold her underwater

Today while in the shower I felt extremely good.
The End.

anti-prostitution

Here is what the Easter bunny brought me for being a good girl. THERE WAS MORE BUT I ATE IT.
The Easter bunny knows whats up. The Easter bunny is gansta.


I have eaten VERY LARGE AMOUNTS OF SUGAR!! I try to distract myself from the candy but it just calls me back.
Seductive damn candy. making me feel all good...
in those pictures I am eating a marshmallow bunny and a purple peep.
tonight was interesting.
this picture was taken and then my camera was dropped.
why cant people take good photos?
do I have to do EVERYTHING AROUND HERE???
hold still.
mother effer.
and I am going to fall asleep now and then i will wake up then i will do ALL the same stuff over again.
with some different stuff mixed in.
OH I really like when 13 year olds compliment my stuff.
makes me more aware of my coolness.

Music without words

ME AND A PUBLIC TOILET. goodmorning.
My dog deserves to be walked MORE often. Like daily.
I have some many things that I should be doing and realistically I should never be NOT busy.
BUT I am NOT busy A LOT of time. I am always being a bad bad girl.
BUT TODAY IS A GRANDMA DAY.
I am going to try and hang with my Grandma.

JUST ate some tuna salad.
It was sick.
everything I eat lately tastes like trash.
AND EATING IS ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE THINGS TO DO!!
SO what I am going to do if I eat TRASH ALL DAY?!!!!??
Thats not enjoyable. NO body likes trash.
I really don;t have time for this.
I should be in the shower rinsing the RED out of my hair.

WHOOPPS Ijust deleted a whole lotof stuff.
O well. Now you will never know how amazing I am today.

Fortify Ourselves

Is it alright if I say that I hate Easter? Is that ok?
I got angry early off because OH I can't remember why. Then I went to church as usual. My Mom decided she was coming along too. WHICH would have been just fine BUT afterwards she was ALL QUESTIONEEEE. Asking all these riduculous religion questions. I don't know why JESUS did not visit people after he was resurrected. My mom was saying that Jesus should have given MORE proof that he was the son of God. Whatever. I am not even religious. I don't even know if I believe in the whole Jesus thing. I JUST DON'T KNOW!!!!!!! I DO however believe in the Easter Bunny. For serious.
AND I have an uneasy, can't get comfortable feeling that lives in my core.
AND I POST TOO MANY PICTURES OF MYSELF.
AND I NEVER HAVE ANYTHING WORTHWHILE TO SAY.
AND I DON'T NEED ANY FRIENDS!!!!!!
AND I LIE A LOT!

I am getting what I deserve I am reaping what I sew

LOOK AT ME AND MY CUPCAKES IN MY NEW CUPCAKE TRAVELING CASE!!
AND ALSO LOOK AT MY ONE EYED BUTTERFLY!!

I am exhausted.
WHy DO I force myself to stay awake?
Thats what I do.
I am forcing my eyes to stay open.
I guess I am afraid I will miss something.
I am three.
And I am the Easter Bunny.
I ate a lot of candy tonight.
I am going to have a sugar crash.
and dream sweet dreams.
I will dream of you.
and chocolate covered marshmallows and coconut.
now YOU go and dream of ME.

BRAINDEAD

I just ate the most disgusting Cabury egg.
I think it had real egg insides. hard, stale egg insides.
sick. I should not have finished it.
I have made some pretty pretty pretty ridiculous choices today.
One being the choice to leave my son in the gym babysitting thingamajig while I took a ride in a BIG MONSTER TRUCK to get some cofffee and a reduced fat crumb cake from STARBUCKS!!! I was only gone for 15 MINUTES and oh I don't know. it would have been JUST FINE if I would not have gotten totally BUSTED.
oy vey.
I JUST HAD TO RIDE IN THAT DAMN MONSTER TRUCK.
I had never been in one of those things before.
and there are other circumstances but I don't feel like explaining myself anymore.

now I will play some hopscotch.

THATS WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR

Wanna see a picture for summer 2005!? ok here ya go.
I am drunk and I am in a bar. That really does not happen very much.
maybe 3 times a year. And usually in the same bar.

My night tonight however was pretty confusing.
and did not involve a bar.
I ended up grocery shopping withmy grandma.
I went up and down every aisle. I usually hip hop around.
Some people get annoyed by that.
a few people actually.

I blame my learning disorder.
please don't blame me.

O.K. Friday

I just can't tell how I feel right now.
The weather has been ALL over the PLACE.
very unstable. Almost hurricane style today.
I slept and woke up scared.

The Easter Bunny is coming soon.
and maybe Jesus.
?

lets not jump to any silly conclusions

this blog is not really me. sure i post and put up pictures of myself and say Blahbalhabalahblahblooobloo but don't think that you know anything. you know nothing. you know something but really it is nothing. I know its hard to believe or even fathom but this blog is nothing. and your blog is nothing too. its just the tip of the iceburg.
SO please don't think that you have a clue. Clueless are you. AND clueless is me.
UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW ME. THEN HOLY FUDGESICLES YOU KNOW LOTS!! and you should feel special.
and maybe you don't think I am a pretentious suckface. cause I'm really not.

BUT I HAVE RALLY BAD BREATH AND I REALLY WANT SOME COFFEE AND I REALLY WANT TO FEEEL THE INNERPEACE.
good day my sweet readers.