Crap

I have no idea what to do. what do I do? I can't make up my mind. and even if I do I know I will change it.

how annoying.

I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH PEE WEE HERMAN

Bought a Cindi Lauper box set today. FUNK YEAHMAN!
And I sing just like her. NO JOKE!

Tonight is a good television night.
The NEW Real world NEW ORLEANS IS ON!!
Like SPREAD THE WERD NERD!
Oh god.

I tried to B U Y a lamp but I hate all the lamps out there
and I hate my town.
Tomorrow I leave it.
but then that means traffic and that is another thing I HATE!
everywhere I turn is stuff to hate.

Spending My Time

I can NOT BREAK HABITS! But I can start NEW ones.
Took a bath. Ran some. Ate lots. Smoked a little. Almost in that order. And most of those were done while listening to ROXETTE.
All love songs are the same. But love songs are necessary.
And I GUESS LOVE is TOO!
all love is the same and its all necessary.
as fucked up as it all is.
necessary fucked up shit.
everything.

and now I will try to go by a LAMP! OK!?
ok.

the stupidest thing ever

Some blogs help me see just how lame my blog really is.
Some people I guess are just more interesting than others. But I guess it is all up to you.
I am embarassed to say that sometimes I DREAM of blogging.
When exactly did THAT happen? When did blogging take over my brain?

so all these blogs make me realize just how amazing and interesting and beautiful and CRAZY and smart we are. well you. maybe not me. O k FINE I am "amazing" too. fine. but you are MORE AMAZING!

It was just yesterday

Rain is good for a day or two.
today is day one.

I wonder sometimes if people really really like me.
Or if they just like the idea of me.
and visa versa. Do I really like you? or just the idea of you?

I need new clothes. I will go a HUGE shopping spree on Wednesday. I have decided.
do I really like clothes? or just the idea of clothes?

The clouds are in my eyes

these images are the last images that my computer will accept. freaking lame.
My itunes is not even working. Tried to burn a CD and everything went retard on me.
I am getting seriously upset. well not really but I am sure I will.
besides my tech problem
my day has been hallelujah perfect.

I ran yesterday and just with that ONE run I feel like I am 5 pounds lighter.
I would have ran today as well but the weather is sorta rainy so i went in my JACUZZI instead.
I am afraid of being electrocuted while init.

I am now going to my storage facility where I store useless crap that I can't part with.

WELL THATS JUST TERRIFIC!

I am very very very very very veyr annoyed and upset.
My computer isnt working right. The photo program is seriously fucked up.
I am not sure what is wrong or what I should do.
I had other pictures I wanted to post BUT MY COMPUTER IS TRYING TO INTERUPT MY LIFE!
sad really.

Anyways.
earlier I felt my extrasensory perception kickin in.
But now I doubt it.
But I do think that at any moment my computer will be gone forever.

But anyways again.
my day was good my day fine.
up until now.

I don't like people that think they are perfect.
or computers that are STUPID ASSHOLES!

i know its hard but TRY and FOLLOW

I must not be completly DUMB.
It is just not possible.
I must somehow be overly SMART!
That is the ONLY explanation.
Well, maybe I am not overly smart.
But WHAT iF I WAS?
would I be happy?
If I was HAPPY would that make me a GENIOUS?
Would the thought be enough motivation to force me to be happy?
ME HAPPY= SUPER GENIOUS!

cause thats what i am.
A GODDAMN SUPER GENOIUS!

off track

The internet is making me sick. Mostly this blog here.
But i have had a bad attitude all day. with some dollops of good attitude.
I got really mad for a millisecond at a putput golfing place cause these teenie HOES chose the same course as me and my party so that caused them to be TOO close to me. I was mad. but thankfully it lasted only a millisecond. I was about to say UH COULD YOU GO TO ANOTHER COURSE CAUSE YOU ARE STUPID!? AND THERE ARE 4 OTHERS! But I just looked at them and held back.
I don't own the world.
OR DO I?!
Well, that was just one tiny tiny thing that happened today. There are many other highs and lows of the day.
Once again it was suggested to me that I should be on medication.
Maybe so.
But that woud feel like giving up.
I have a feeling that I should take a sleeping pill.
ironic kinda.

But let me set the record straight and say that I HAD A GOOD DAY!
But I also HAD A BAD DAY!

Can I help you?

We planted some seeds yesterday. Carrots and basil.
I will be surprised if they grow.
I'd also like to plant some sunflowers.

My plan is that around 5ish I will go to the gym and take a cycling class.
I need to in order to keep eating the way I like to.
But right now I will just sit and drink some coffee.
I wish I had a donut.

Those shoes are cool and I think I NEED them.

I AM THE CENTER OF ME

SO I was thinking about aliens and wonder if some are watching and making notes about me and maybe you. Evaluating and discussing and determining and manipulating my thoughts.
I am sure that aliens would appreciate how AMAZING I am. Well, some aliens.
But I bet there are those aliens that DON'T appreciate me. The ones that want to DESTROY ME.
But for now I will just destroy myself.
By focusing only on the bad and never ever the good.
FUCKTHEGOOD.
sow stupid.
and why am I worrying about what aliens think of me?
i bet they all hate me.

WHO SAYS I

I bought that shirt today. I think that it makes me predictable.

Cassette tapes were so lame.

Maybe that shirt is lame.

Maybe I am lame.



And I STILL have not watched American Idol.

I am about to.

i am so tired and all my muscles are tense.

I am very tense.

and very tired.



I think that today was a ridiculous day for me.

Me and I are different. Ya KNOW?!

MUST YOU?!?!?

Seriously who do I think I am? My daily activities are ridiculous.
I am so uninteresting it is embarassing.
I have listened to to Jack Johnsons On and On album like 50 thousand times. and now I have moved on to In Between Dreams. Splendid. I have also eaten a pound of rasberries.
If only it was summer time I could have eaten them by my pool.
Sometimes I forget that I even have a pool.

Thank god I spent most of my childhood alone cause if I hadn't i think I would be smoking crack by now.

Holy Moly is it time to watch American Idol or what?

do not just sit there and stare

I was the VERY first customer to enter T.J. Maxx this morning! HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?
When I wokeup this morning I just KNEW it was going to be a special different kind of day.

Last night I dreamt of a BLACK WIDOW that was coming down onto my bed from some hole in my ceiling. It was scary.

eek creepy.
I should call Terminex right NOW!
But I probably won't. Hopefully they will just call me.

Lets Not Forget

I for sure do not know what anyone is thinking and its about time I stop thinking that I do.
I always rely on intuition and stuff. Its time to STICK TO THE FACTS JACK.
Nothing but.

So with that said.
My stomach and legs ache.
I don't know why.
Maybe I have been ice dancing in my sleeep.

I despeRATly need a mani and pedi.
I feel stupid saying that, I never do use those half words.
I say HI I would like to have a manicure and a pedicure.

And I want a RAT!
a baby rat.
maybe.
thats kinda gross but maybe cute too.
mostly gross.
but maybe COOL!
and I am all about the COOL.

I think I may have to vomit.
seriousy.

I WILL NOT PRETEND TO NOT NOTICE

I was laughed at today. By two cops eating in an Arby's. Jerks.
I also was given some major attitude by the checker at the grocery store.
LIKE WHATEVER!
And this is not imagination stuff. This is actually, truly happening. I know what EVERYONE IS THINKING.
People are laughing at me and giving me their TUDES!
Cops and checkers.
F U man.

I am sucha rebel!

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner

Penguins are so strange.

The other night I dreamt that I was in a BATMAN type situation. It was very intense but I was confident that BATMAN would make everything all better and keep me safe. I think that Batman was being played by Anthony Kiedis. Who is totally HOT by the way.

Candies and Swearing

I went to the ZOO. I went to SEAWORLD.

I went totally INSANE.

San Diego is not the O.C.

BUT San Diego is totally AWESOME.

That is where I want to buy my imaginary condo, where I will live in my imaginary life, with my imaginary friends.

I would not even need a car. I could ride a bike.

But thats just imaginary talk.

I have more pictures I will post.

I KNOW you are on the edge of your seat!

IT FEELS LIKE THE MORNING

RIght now my cereal of choice is Cinnamon Life.
I think I eat too much cereal and drink too much coffee. its like it's breakfast 24 hours a day.
I would like to drink some coffee right now.
Coffee and cereal comfort me.
I wish I got up before the sun did. And went on an early morning run.
that would be so healthy.
but I stay up too late.

I want a pet owl. They look like cats. BUT BETTER!

I PUSHED THAT BUTTON!

I take baths in boiling water. I like it to feel as if I am taking a bath on the SUN.
And when the water starts to cool off I put more scalding hot water in.

I just answered the phone and I got to hear a recording of a man YELLING about satellite service.
what the hell is up with all the phone recordings calling every 10 minutes?
I thought that was banned or something.

I like to watch the Olympics.

And I like to stay in hotels.

and I like to make blog posts that are meaningless.
just like life.

lets break it down

Windy cold days are not my cup o tea. I do not want to leave my semi safe house at all. But I have to. No choice. But what makes my adventure outdoors even more uninviting is that i have to do it with my big clumsy dog. How lame is that? HSe is totally gonna fuck my shit up. She is going to make me trip and fall and curse.

She is just going to stress me out. I have to bring her to the vet and I always think that pet doctors and nurses are weird and bubbly and love my animals more than I do. Like I should just tell them that they should keep my dog.


and LOOK AT THAT MESS! WHAT IS IT?
I am a goddamn pig. I swear. The maids come every other week and this is what happens in between. Disgraceful.

I DoN'T HAVE MAGIC EYES OR ANYTHING

It is true I take one million pictures of myself a day. Most of them are horrific.
Its all an illusion.

Valentines Day is sorta annoying and cheesy.
But I do wish I could say that this lovely pink box of chocolates belonged to me.
It is so lacey and screams I LOVE YOU!
I would use it to store my birth control pills and naked pictures of myself.
maybe some pot.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

MY BRAIN JUST DOES WHAT IT WANTS

I wont even TELL you who my husband said I looked like in this picture.
Too embarassing.
eek.!

I had fun today. Played school with Janet and then we played HOOKIE!
We totally went to the mall.
I did not even STEAL anything.

I must be on an upperward swing right now.
I better watch out.
But why should I!?

YOU WATCH OUT!

I don't know who I am yelling at.
Hopefully they don't yell back.
or maybe someone yelled that at me.

?

Either way.

BIG FAT BRAT

Ever since forever I have trouble getting things OUT of my head. If I want something I can NOT stop thinking about it. HOW CAN I GO ABOUT GETTING MY WAY!? Usually I get my way.
SOmetimes I obbsess so much that I actually FORGET WHY XACTLY I WANT WHAT I WANT.
It turns out that I want it only cause I can't.
FUCKIN A!

Its a disease with NO CURE!

FILLED HER UP WITH LOVE

This was my fourth "JANET & WILLS KICK ASS VALENTINES DAY BASH".
I came up with that title. But I bet that someone would claim that they came up with it. Simple not true. It was all me.
The party is not actually held on Valentines Day but whatever.

It was a fun night. I did get poked in the eye rather early in the evening and my eye was all red and damaged for most the evening and for some reason my husband introduced himself to everyone as "Steve".
My pictures did not turn out that great. It could be that my son was taking most of them.
I am sure there were much better pictures taken with Janets camera.

I drank lots champagne with strawberries mixed with some sort of violet syrup.
And I ate lots of cream puffs.
I think I played some Catch Phrase.
I think that a little girl puked and I kept my son up and running way past 1 am.
And I think that some high school students showed up.

SHA LA LALALA THESE STREETS GOT THE RHYTHM!!

I have been eating JUST CEREAL.

Well, that is a lie cause yesterday I had some stuffed french toast from I HOP. that was very good. and fatty.

But besides that for the past week I ahve been eating just cereal. I went to Dennys the other night and I ordder some RAISIN BRAN and APPLE SAUCE.and the waitress said,"REALLY?!" Yes really. thank you.

I am on the cereal diet. Cereal,coffee and smoke diet.



Tonight I gotta party to go to!

Hopefully I will not look stupid or be stupid or seem stupid or anything stupid like that.

And THIS is ONLY the beginning

This is my 300th post. just thought I would let it be known.

So I was walking into Target holding my sons hand and this other mother and her daughter were walking out. ANd the daughter is crying. Not to abnormal, kids always cry. BUT THIS GUY says OH SHUT UP YOU FUCKIN BRAT! I was like "OH WOW".
People are so angry.

Lets see what else happened today.....
I took a GAZILLION TRILLON MILLION pictures of myself and my legs.
Cause I bought a summer dress and I am a little girl in it.

I think tomorrow I will be crafty and make some Valentines for all the special people in my life.
All 5 of them.
well maybe 7.

oh and I will wear pigtails tomorrow so the little girl feel will run strong.