Split Ends are the Worst!

The weather is really yucky today.



Our snowman light fixture fell down outside and he is still laying there.



I have zero plans for tonight.



I want to be in the middle of a movie on my couch when midnight comes.



The countdown to the new year is just too stressful for fragile little me.

We Are Live

Ten Years ago this New Years Eve I was a 16 year old junior in high school.
And My mom went to New York with her new boyfriend, and I was suppose to just chill with my Grandma.
But i opted to ditch my sweet Grandma and steal about $200.00 from my Aunts little money box.
and then I went to town at the PArty City store and the local liquor store that was nice enough to sell 16 and 17 year old girls HARD CORE BOOZE like MAD DOG and Boones Farm.
(I was gonna say that I am now sorry for stealing that money but really i am not, well maybe a little tiny bit.)
I won't bore myself with the details of the evening BUT I did wear some super cool red pants that I bought from the thrift store and a retro swirly polyester shirt and I was OH SO JENNY McCARTHY!

I was. just ask anybody.
I really love that show Singled Out,
and that cute host who later went on to host Shipmates.
So much has changed.
I miss Singled Out.

Ive gotta give it up

When I first got my kitty, Jake Blues, I thought we would be so close.
i thought I would love him and he would love me.
Our relationship is not loving.
He just goes out all the time.
He never wants to hang out.
I guess his kitty friends are more important.
And when he is around I just want him to leave.
He hates me.
And I hate him.
Its not a secret.
He likes to pee in my bed.
WHO COULD LOVE THAT??
Stupid Jake Blues.

Love is Blind

Time Goes By So Slowly

yesI know. That picture is similar to the last one.
But I think that view agrees with me and my fat face.
Fat face runs in my family.
I can't run from it.

So 2005 can just KISS IT!
HiT IT!
TA-TA
I am liking 2006 already.
Lets go!
I would say it has gone by slow.
but maybe not.
maybe it has gone by at light speed speediness.

Don't you hate it when you have a hair or something in your mouth and you try to get it out but you can't and then you start to gag?
I do.
That has not happened to me in awhile.
You know what has been happening to me a lot though?
dreaming of my Dad.
He is always alive.
And last night he moved back to town and I was excited cause he did not have a car and I was going to drive him everywhere he wanted to go.

It was exciting!
And I was so happy.
and I woke up to Drew giving me a hersheys kiss.
And then he complimented my pajamas.
I woke up happy.

Odd years are never good

There is a picture that I took with my new digty cam.
SO far it only takes UGLY STUPID pictures of me.
I don't like it yet.
It was from Tim and last night I broke the news that I did not like it.
I was sorta abrupt about it.
Buttimakesme mad! cause I really wanna like it.
I wanna love it.
maybe it is not the camera maybe it is my fatty face.
Or that I am too lazy to read the booklet.
But i just wanna take pictures.
And I don't really think that I should have to read the booklet.
I should just be able to take pictures without reading up.

Maybe I am wrongthough.

Maybe I just like my old one and don't REALLY need a new one.
the only thing that sucks about my old camera is the long delay before the picture actually snaps.
So the object better just sit still and quiet until the camera decides it is time.

You know some people believe that when their picture is taken so is their soul.
yikes.

Christmas is over.

Now there are just messes for me to clean up.
One gigantic conglomeration of Christmas garbage.
Joy to the world the Lord has come.

Happy Christmas 2005

The only complaint I can come up with in regards to Christmas 2005 is that I BROKE MY SINK!
I peeled many potatoes and clogged up my pipes. I should have had my garbage disposal running but I did not so I just let them gather up into a large potato peel pile.
Other than that my Christmas was filled with pleasure.

On Christmas Eve I went to midnight mass with my Grandma (shown above) and that was just fine.
For a large portion of the time I was concerned that my black heels were just too whorish for church. I was meaning to change into my NEW grey heels but I ran out of time and forgot all together. And I was also thinking about my black pants and all the lint they attracted. I had a lot of regrets about my outfit. But I am sure that GOD and the rest of the parish could careless about my outfit woes. I actually did not care either but we got to the church so fricken early that I had a lot of time to sit and think about my insecurities and thats what I came up with. We had to get to the church an hour before the mass started because there is NO WAY in HEZ' LL that we were gonna lose our seats.
But I enjoy my time (usually)with my Grandma. She is 90 so who knows how many more times I will get to go to midnight mass with her. She was complaining that the music sounded like a funeral.

I made Christmas dinner. Tim said that it was the best yet and that was funny to me cause I did the least amount of work possible. The turkey was a special one from Trader Joes. A product of Canada. It was already stuffed and everything. I simply took it out of the freezer and put it straight in the oven. EASY.

And seeing Christmas through Drews eyes made it what it was.
Magical.

i was just told that I look like a "Byatch" in all of my pictures.
Oh.

Have yourself a merry little Friday

So i just went HAYWIRE again.

A minor glitch happened and I went BOMBY.

Used the word "Fuck" to my mother several times and hung up on her twice.

I have the control to destroy everyones day.

Not today.

I really want to eat and be merry.

So I called my mom back and explained that I am struggling and any bump in the road f's my junk UP!

I am sorry.

I can't explain what is wrong with me.

I have model hands

`



I feel like the Incredible Hulk.

I will be cruisin about my day and then KABOOOOOOOM! I morph into a monster.

I just this minute got so pissed that I slammed my computer shut and hurt my finger.

Silly.



I am not prepared for Christmas.

Supposed to have Christmas dinner here at my house.

I guess that means I need a turkey and stuff.



All I want to do now is sit on my knees and eat sushi.

I will start with the Crunchy Sexy roll or The Girlfriend.

They both involve Shrimp Tempura.

My fave.

Which I will be doing in about thirty minutes.

I assume.

WOKE UP CRYING IN MY SLEEP

I really have so much to do. I don't have any wrapping paper.

The maids come today so i have to clean my trashed house.

my car is also trashed.

What is wrong with me? I need to be tidy.

Maybe this is a good time to start really considering some new years resolutions.

I know have many things to work on.


So my dreams have been really extreme!

Dead Father and all.

there was some nasty blood and guts in my dream as well .

People were standing around this pile of nastiness wondering what it was.

I knew.

gross and disturbing.

I think my dog actually threw it up.

But gee thats entertaining.

I wish I could remember some more of my dream.
I am sure you know how it is.
Its like I remember and I see it but i just can't get it through to anyone else.
yeah yeah yeah blah blah blah.
Crazy dreams.
yeah.

That DUDE is totally running!

I hate shopping for Christmas.
The stores are totally filled with everyone.
EVERY SINGLE DINGLE person in the UNIVERSE is shopping.
And even worse driving to GO shopping!
And I usually enjoy shopping, but right now it just TIS NOT the season.
so far have bought my step dad a sweater. REAL Cool huh!
and my mother an over priced purse but it does have her initials all over it. Cool.
and lets see
I have bought TONS of crud for the BRAT ATTACK living with me.

And it is Christmas for me practically everyday SO I deserve nothing but a sack full of coal!
But I bet I will still get something.
Santa really does like naughty girls.

i sure loaded up with lots of pictures this post.
I must be feeling extra creative!

Actually

I am thinking that I really should not have danced at that Christmas party.
I should have just sat still.
I only danced like two songs but that is just two too many.
Whatever its done with.

I hope I sleep soundly tonight.
I feel a little restless and uneasy.
So I doubt it.
I wake up in the middle of the night feeling bored.

I need a sedative.

HO HO HO

Last night was Tims BIG work Christmas party.

I drank toomuch.

Ate too little.

Talked too much.

Danced too much.

I mean I had to dance to the HUMP song for fricken GODSAKE!

What else happened.....

OH I PUKED!

In my underwear cause I was not gonna get puke on my classic black dress.

And I glanced at myself in the mirror and even in the midst of vomiting I was still so SEXY!

The Father The Son and The Holy Ghost

My pool is complete.
Now I just have to wait till summer to use it.
Which I will, like every fricken day!
If I am still alive that is.
I plan on it.

MY day was full of confusion.
Mostly I feel confused.
hopefully that is not because I am A DUMBASS.
Hopefully its just cause things are confusing.
Decisions and all that.
Right and wrong.
Left or Right.

But I do continually tell myself that everything I am doing and all that I choose is the right.
So I guess actually that means I am just going in circles.
Round and Round I go.
Seems natural.



and I guess the word is that Madonnas Like A Prayer Album is her best.
I think that this new one of hers is the best.



SHE is the best!
I just had to mention Madonna.

Sparkles

My pool is almost done.
Its lovely.
The tiles are just what I like.
I should take a picture.

Pretty shaky day today.

ANd in case anyone was concerned about my ichy problem.
I am ok.
it seems to have ceased.

I bought two more Madonna cds.
Something to Remember and American Life.
I have owned them before but they are gone.
Or scratched.
Anyways I am really feelin Madonna right now.
She is my home girl.

I also bought a book.



and right now I am goin to go and drink some green tea eat some won ton soup.
and hot mustard too.
COOL HUH!

I downloaded Madonnas Like A Prayer album today.
It really brings back some memories.
I was 9.
I used to dance to it in my grandmas front yard like I WAS MAdonna.
I had a walkman.
So cool was I.
and still am.

some bullshits gonna go down

Tim does not like me posting any negativity about our marriage.
he has made comments.

SO I should also post POSITIVE and JOYFUL things in regards to marriage.
They do exsist.

Maids are coming and Tims not so sure it is safe to leave for some lunch and Christmas shopping for Drew.
I think its fine.

Last time the maids came one of them saw me with my pants down around my ankles.
Goodbyes were said And doors were shut.
I went upstairs in my bathroom that has a view of my front door.
and as I was done and stood up to pull my pants up the lady just opened my front door.
to give me a message I guess.
Well I was shocked and screamed SORRRY at her.
she just shut the door and ran away in her maid car.
I was laughing and was actually gonna go out there and see what the messsage was and to tell her that everything was alright but she ran away.

Hopefully she learned her lesson.

Goodbye means goodbye.

So I am waiting for them to get here so I can leave.

And there has been some recent discussion about me having a large amount of ringworm covering my body.
that would really be upsetting.
That is gross.
I have hives.
When I get stressed my body temperature increases and my skin just goes all itchy in patches.
As of now I have NO itchness. All is calm on my skin.
But if I start to get stressed and stuff.
Actually should just STOP thinking about it.

I want some sushi.
Curb Your Enthusiasm was so funny last night.
I was laughing and laughing.
Laughing is so fun.
Office was on too.
thats a funny show also.
Tuesdays are great.

Wednesdays are fine too.

I have stressed induced hives.
I have decided.
I itch.
I can't rest.

and there have been about 10 gun shots in my neighborhood.
some shooter has locked himself up in a house and the streets are blocked off and junk.

fuck I itch.

Now Available On Demand

ok.



well my day turned out alright.
I tried and I tried and I made it work.
I did shop a bit.
My step dad bought me a dress.
Thats a treat.
And I also made a pot roast for my family.
My table was full all around.

But
I woke up itchy.
I ran out of my usual soap and had to use some other soap.
at least I think that is the reason I itch.
I hope tomorrow I have no itchyness and I won't have to worry about it.
I worry a lot about my health and symptoms and side effects and reactions so soon I will go on some medical online source and scare myself with all the possibilities of why I am itchy.

Probably dry skin.
when itchy everything is more annoying.
thats all.

it's fine.

Sorry but

I hate being married.
Everything about it leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
I am bored.
Tied down.
I am just mad.

I am the one with the attitude.
I am the one with the attitude.

But thats not how i see it.
I am cheery and up beat but then I get tired.

Sundays are the worst.
Fucking football!
come on!
So stupid.
GROW UP!
Men and their silly little boy ness.
And us women should just go whipup some deviled eggs.
Or shop.
Basically just smile and be pretty without the attitude.
No attitude.
Deviled eggs yes.
Attitude no.

Maybe I just don't look at it right.
But to me, it is all just a buncha bullshit.
All of it.
Marriage.
Football.
Deviled Eggs.
Attitude.
BULL.
SHIT.

this is xmas

The tree is up.

I don't really like to decorate a tree.

I don't know why.

Church is in a few.

I really look forward to church.

Its the one thing that remains constant.