Being a stay at home mom blows.

broken but not

My necklace is kinda broken.
it broke and I lost a piece of it.
I have been losing LOTS of jewlery lately.
But finding them quickly.
I lost my husbands watch the other day.
That was very upsetting.
For many reasons.
I lost my wedding ring the other day.
I lost my black heart ring the same day.
I lost a bracelet a few days later.

But this NECKLACE.
this necklace is broken!

But I can still wear it.
It is just shorter.

But still I want that MISSING piece!

I liked being able to wrap it around my head 3 times....
I made a wish each time i put it on.

not really.

Excuse Me

My days have been very yucky.
yucky is the best word I can come up with.
On Sunday I had my cell phone out by the pool wrapped up in some towels.

Ya know to keep it nice and safe. HA!

And my son tossed the towels in the pool.
"WHERE IS MY PHONE!" I exclaimed!
There it was on the bottom of the pool.
SO I fliipped all out.

Flipping out IS AFTER ALL my thing!
SO I rushed off to Costco ( where I purchased my beloved phone).
The process to exchanged my water logged phone was very interesting.
The Sprint people took my broken phone and placed it in a brand new box and told me to take it up front and return it.

So i did. THey gave me $217.49. CASH!

Then I had to go back to the Sprint booth and get a new phone box and take that one up front and purchase it with the cash that I was given for the water logged phone.Then take my reciept and box that I just bought BACK to the Sprint people and then they handed me another new phone to take home.
BIZARRE!

It seemed shady to me.
Like Sprint is scamming Costco.
But whatever I got a new phone for nothing.
I however did not tell them that my phone had been tossed on the pool.
SO actually I am the one doing the scamming.

But sadly I lost all my pictures and phone numbers that were stored on my phone.

Some were dirty pictures!

Hopefully it does not magically start working for one of the employees.

Then they will see me in all my glory.

O well that is the price I pay I guess.

The price for being SEXY!

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAA!

So then yesterday I made myself a yummy healthy smoothy and it made me PUKE!

Sexy Plexi!

mirror mirror on the wall

I really think that i am a horrible blogger.
I don't really enjoy anything about it.
I have no clue what to say.
I feel like what is the point really?

GOD MY cat is running around like an asshole!
I tried to catch and strangle the little fuck but it ran too fast.

And you know those cute sandals?
They hurt my feet.
Hopefully they will loosen up or something.

But who cares about those shoes?
Not me really.
I should not have even bought them.
I can't believe I am even still talking about them.
They are irrelevant to anything going on in my life.
This entire blog is irrelevant.
but I still am typing on it and making some sort of statement. I guess.
But it is pointless since I can not say what is truly going on.
To anybody.

Lord Have Mecry! or mercy whateva

that the newest sandal added to my collection.

It is funny cause i don't really feel like have a large amount of flippingflops or sandals or just shoes in general.

But lately if I see something as sparkly and beady like those I can not pass it up.

So I feel a collection coming on.

I actually feel a strong need for a trip to the Beverly Center.

That place is silly ridiculous.

But super duper great.

What can i say? I am Material Girl.

And lets all observe Madonna for one moment please.







She had a shit birthday.

i could link the story I gues but I don't wanna.

She like fell off a horse and stuff.

Broken bones.

i wonder if she really fell off a horse?

My mom tried to trick me and said that she died!

I just screamed at her!

NO SHE DID NOT!

like you idiot mom!

No No Moms are great.
After all, I am one.
But my mom really pisses me off, especially when she starts telling me how proud she is of me.
That really aggravates me.
I told her that i was going to have to stop hanging around with her if she continued.

every day i wish I had gone to bed earlier.
I need the sleep.
everyday I wish I drank more water.
I need the water.
But i like soda, wine, and milk lots more.

And my face is so DRY from the sun and pool water.
My lips too.

And I have not been to the beach yet this summer!

ANd I need to buy my son a bed.
He is now 3 and needs get out of his crib.

And I need to bring my dog to the groomers.
And my cat to the vet.

And my husbands pants need to be brought to the cleaners.
And I need to pay some bills.
I could probably right this crap down on a post-it or something like that but whatever.

I will tell you what I don't need to do.
Buy any more flipflopping sandals or slippyslip shoes.
I have enough.

I feel like my life is one big movie.
If only I could explain.

It is lightening and thundering.
I love it.
It makes me feel alive and aware.
When I feeel the storm start to fade so do I.

I was hoping the poweer would shut off.
It flickered a few times so I started to panic.
My heart raced and I ran around looking for light sources.
I could not find my large black flashlight.
I swear I almost started to cry the fear was so powerful.
Silly.
But very exciting and ALIVE.
Rather than dull and dead.
No tank you.
I am not down with the dull and the dead.
SO I lit some candles
But unfortunatly there was no power outages.

But I stood outfront for awhile, getting all wet cause it was raining.
And I turned and got a view of my house and I swear I thought I was in a old west scene or some shit in a movie.
And I was like the lady in the movie.
My movie.
My crazy fucked up movie.
But why old west?
I mean I realize it is 2005.
But this IS fucking old west compared to what is to be.
Maybe i just watch to many movies?
Maybe I should be an actress?
I would say that I thought old west cause of the lighting of the candles, but I did that AFTER standing outside.
It was a time warp!@
I experienced some sort of time travel parrraalllel universe thing.
It is too complicated to explain.
So I won't even try.

IT even smelt good!

My house has been emptied.
things are slowly coming back to me.
I forget how everything works when I have company.

I have pictures and stuff to post but I still don't have the strength.
I have so much to deal, with so much to figure out.
Tomorrow should be a busy day.
I guess.

I actually feel like I am on a rollercoaster.
Weeeeeeeeeee!!!

too tired and done with today that I am going to bed early.
Right now actually.

Disneyland here I come.
Hopefully I do not get lost or kidnapped.
Hopefully I don't have a nervous breakdown.
Lots of people are coming along.
LOTS.
My mother included.
I am wearing my hat so my cuteness will be intact.
Thnkafuly.
My Mom is running late as usual and people are already getting flustered.
Who cares folks.
Mickey will be there.
He won't go home.

Actually I feel nausea coming on.
I may vomit.
BUT WHY?
It is just Disneyland, and car rides, and hotel rooms, and balloons, and lines, and characters walking around in suits, and family, and crowds, and personalities, and the heat.
I could go on but it is starting to depress me.

And we are leaving any minute. Ok.
Should be fun.
I will have fun.
I refuse to let anything other than fun run through my viens.
Well maybe a lil THC!
wink wink

Lets Try and Remember

...

Erase All

Today I thought I would define cool by taking pictures myself sitting in a plastic chair, in my mothers backyard.
People think I am crazy when I am taking these pictures.
People are usually trying to have a conversation with me, but I just can't sit there and focus primarily on them and their silly words.
I must be playing with gadgets.

My husbands 14 year old cousin is always fidgeting with her cell phone. It is endearing to me.
She will walk around with it in her pink tank top right between her boobs with some boy on the line.
The boy is just happy to be sitting there listening to her being silly and junk.
These kids nowadays.




Yesterday was my sons 3rd birthday and I do believe that it could not have been more perfect.
It was the funnest party ever!

And right this minute I have a tummy ache and
all these people are waiting on me to stop fiddling with my pointless interests.
But i am not rushing.
I have stuff I wanna do to ya know!
But still I feeled rushed.
I gotta go.

Kool

Another Maxdens photo.
Probably my favorite.

WOOOOHOOOO!!

I drank lots and lots of vanilla vodka last night. YUM diddley YUM!

Janet and I went out with the new kid in town. Zandria is her name.

and here is this tag thing.
I don't even know how to "tag" someone.
but whateva.

List ten songs that you are currently digging … it doesn’t matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they’re no good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they’re listening to.

1. Caress Me Down, Sublime
2. Hanky Panky, Madonna
3. Add it Up, Violent Femmes
4. Sooner or Later, Madonna
5. Hump, Black Eyed Peas
6. Turn it up, Black Eyed Peas
7. In Your Room, The Bangles
8. The Beat Goes On, Sonny and Cher
9. D'yer Maker Song, Led Zepplin
10. Waiting for My Ruca, Sublime

BFF

This picture is grand.

PLEASE give me a BREAK!

I am sorry if this post is more than you may like.
BUT I have FUCKING HAD IT with just about everyone.
THere is literally only a few people that I care to interact with.
Do you think you are one of them?

My house is full of people. FUCKING FULL!
EIGHT to be exact and one of them is a 3 year old, plus the dog, and the cat.
And if you ask me NONE of these people are normal.

I can't even dry my hair in fucking peace.
And i don't know about you,
but I like to cry while drying my hair.
So I am drying my hair with my eyes shut and waterery with tears when I open them for a milisecond.
Ya know, just to be aware. and there is this pyscho bitch standing in my bathroom, in my bedroom staring at me.
(and yes I said pyscho bitch.)
It made me MAD and kinda freaked out.
Then this pyscho starts talking.
Ummm HELLO PYSCHO BITCH I AM DRYING MY MOTHA EFFIN HAIR!
ARe ya A BLIND psycho bitch?
Or just a DUMB psycho bitch?

SO I try to be calm. and nice and all that other BULLSHIT we have to do when putting up with ignorant bastards.
So I talk to my husband about this and his solution is to shut the door.
Yes.
Shut the door.
How about GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!
or is it really even MY house.
No I guess it is not.
I am just a employee.

So that is just one tiny tiny thing happening here with me at this moment.

OH and that my son will be moving to West Virginia to be my Mother-in-Laws BOYFRIEND!
What the FUCK EVER DUDE!
Sure maybe I am an overreactor or something but that is just NOT RIGHT!
1st my mother in law informed me of this.
ANd when I expressed to my dear sweet loving caring husband, he further informed me that is was all MY SONS IDEA!!!

OUTFUCKINGRAGOUS!

A Little Much

that is me paying attention.


I need to slide on some water slides.

That is a definite cure all.
unless you happen to fall off your inner tube and smack your face against the slide.
OR worse, you fly out of the tube slide thing and when you splash into the pool you become disorientated and think you are drowning.
People do that ya know.
IN 3 feet deep water! Growns ups, flip flapping their arms and crap in shallow water! Prettysillyifyaaskme.
ya know, I was a lifegaurd once.
And I saved these people.
AND more!

Tomorrow I am going a water park as a chaparone.
I am acting as an acting adult for a "fun trip" type thingy.
Basically a bunch of over the top silly girls from ages 11-17. or so.
So I am planning on an adventurous day.
But guess what!
I am an adult.
Me and Janet as matter of fact. WE are the adults!!
SO COOL!

Afterall I do lots of super adult things.

For instance I stole my husbands cigerettes and I was going to smoke everry last one of them, but he stole them back.
what can I say?
I get bored.

And I think now I shall eat some Rice Krispies!

Derailment

I just drannk some MOLDY SNAPPLE ICE TEA!
SICK!
I was trying to take my gash DAMN birth control pill.
My mouth is too dry to make any spit to swallow it with.
So while I was taking the drink I asked the other person in the room (my husband) how long that Snapple had been there and he replied "about a week ha ha" But it was too late. Some already made it down I had to spit out my pill. Then
I said, "WhAT THE FUCK?! THat is bullshit!"
I was very mad.
DOn't leave a Snapple around for a week.
Come on man.
And you know, some may say that I should pick it up and dispose of it properly, but ya know what homies IT was NOt ever MY SNAPPLe!
Nope. not mine.

But I guess the lesson is I should not be drinking other peoples Snapples.

This Snapple incident should really be a learning experience for me.

And for others.

and in other news....
BAD habits are definitly hard to break.
And I seem to be collecting more daily.

I saw a shooting star tonight while I was chillin in my hot tub.
I tried to make a wish but I think I screwed it all up.
I got too anxious.
How could I choose just one?
I think I will just stop making wishes all together.
Eliminate that stress.