till the sun blows the fuck up

I think all the extra fiber is giving me GAS.
can I tell you that sort of stuff without the judgment?
whatever i am beyond that.
win some you lose some.
BUT mostly I WIN!
we all win.
these last few months I have learned A LOT of crucial information.
I am so experienced in life.
and the force.
its a lot to take in.
My "WORK" was somewhat busy today and i was like WHAaT!? WHaAT!?
one short lady bought a 139 dollar pair of earrings!
doesn't she know she should be saving?
the sterling silver hoopy earrings were pretty heavy and i bet she is regretting that now.
i just ate an entire bag of kettle corn and I am a tiny bit regretful.
but life does go on.

the glass is somewhat full

JESUS! blogging CAN take FOREVA!
it is actually the photos.
why even DO IT?
for the kids and for the challenge.
SO its a wine and marshmallow nite for me and not the mini marshmallows.
way more fun than cheese.
the big award show thats on is a bona fide bore.
Mostly fags and assholes with their humble bullshit talk.
sorry.
Penelope cruz is cute though. so adorable with her accent.
IS FEB lasting FOREVER!? Will it ever go away? ALREADY! Almost?
March will be a lingering bitch too I am sure.
This week I am going to a ZOO and I am just tickled about it as long as this RAIN stops.
and YES I know that rain is very valuable to our planet but still it can really fuck up a day.
Sun is nicer and I need a tan.
how will I get one?
WOWZERS JERRY LEWIS IS STILL ALIVE!! HOLy CraP!

who are we to disagree

I have some stupid allergies these days AND when I go to buy some medicine I think to myself HEY I feel ok and I dont need any stinkin relief and then I leave the store where the medicine is kept and immediately start the sneezing again. thats a real weird thing.
I just woke up and had my english muffin and I am still sipping my coffee. I added a lil fiber to my coffee to help me feel FULL and stuff. interesting? no? well.
Too bad I am scheduled to stand around pickin my nose at work or I could bore you with my thoughts on fiber all day LONG.
Its raining and that means that downtown is ghost town.
Maybe I will dream up some great poses for more self photos today. fun.
I had a dream that an eatery made me FURIOUS with ANGER because instead of delivering me my TUNA sandwich they sent me spegahtti, 1/2 a hamburger, and doritos. The delivery lady thought she was doing me a "favor". I was not happy. I ordered a tuna sandwich. more happened with the dream but I don't have the energy or the desire to go all in to it.

love it or leave it

oh honey bears what can I say that hasn't already been said?
it looks like my jeans have a yellowish stain on them? HWTA IS UP WTHI TAHTS!?
UHG!
i dont care cause I dont think its REAL. Its a weird GLARE or someTHING. an illusion.
tomorrow I am going to a MUSICAL! PETER AND THE MOTHER FUCKIN WOLF.
NO work for me THANK YOU very mucho.
I cant wait to go home to the crap av!
HOME SWEET HOME! oh sweet mojave desert.
Ihad a brief convo w a nice lady just yesterday who visited the high desert and she said that the AIR feels richer there.
so very interesting. she was nice.
one lady today was a COMPLETE BITCH to me about some keys that SHE lost and I was like yeah OK lady go back to your special offfice and important CLIENT.
LATER she cameback to apologize and I said HAVE A NICE DAY!
so HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.
3 months.
ahhhhhh I feel so inspired and READY TO GO.
where are those boxes?
THIS IS HUGE.
lets keep this going.
the sky is the limit and even after that there is more.

FLESHY FLOWER HEADS

I love broccoli.
packed with miracles.
High in the vitamin C, the vitamin K, the vitamin A, the calcium and the soluble fiber!
among other wonderful things.
A member of the cabbage family.
Now personally I like to eat em steamed or raw.
when cooked too long they lose all their natural goodness.
either way you should eat some broccoli too.
I also enjoy the benefits of red wine.

I am set up

-1/2 cup oatmeal
-2 cups of coffee
-hand full of banana chips
-green tea
-1,599 hershey kisses
-dill pickle spear
-green tea
-small piece of carrot stick
THAT WOULD BE WHAT I HAVE EATEN THUS FAR THIS TUESDAY FEB 17th 2009!
plus some ice water.
for dinner I will have an avocado.
Its almost summer and I want to go to the beach for Easter Sunday!
I think that sounds like a perfect way to celebrate the resurrection of Christ.
My less than exciting job has a GIANT supply of kisses and they are all for me.
WAIT A MIN I ALSO HAD SARDINES!!!

the world is a beautiful mess.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY SWEETHEARTS!
what did you eat for dinner?
I HAD A MCDONALDS HAPPY MEAL!
Just so I could score a HELLO KITTY DIGITAL WRIST WATCH!!
I am forever 8 years old.
I got the purple one!
the cheeseburger & fries were good in an evil way and left me craving for more. go figure.
and I had a cupcake or two.
Its been a good one all things considered.
i even got ten dollars in the mail from my mom! in check form!
once i wrote a check for 76 cents.
i think thats against the rules or something.
Now I am drinking some wine and i think its making me very sleepy and the taste is a little bitter.
i will suffer through it.
AT THE GYM today a mother of THREE little tots gave me one of the dirtiest look I have yet to receive in this smug town.
Fully uncalled for.
I kicked in an untroubled SMILE.
I believe she was peeved cause I stepped into the gym first and held the door open for her and her children?
or because I don't have multiple children?
give the baby making a rest why dont you? stop at 2. 2 is enough.
just kidding
go on with yourself and have all the babies you want.
Personally I think I will just stick with 1 child.
THANKS and BEST WISHES.

THIS TOWN IS A RACIST

the new real world is GROSS.
I dont like it.
ONE girl has a big mole on her FACE and thats kinds YUCKY but she is the "normal" one.
and a there is a person that had their penis removed and had to learn how to pee again. wow. serious issues.
I dont even know why I still watch that show but I am for some reason.
In my real life I made heart shaped sugar cookies & ate some dough.
showed up at the GYM twice and was disappointed when my reg yoga teacher lady was not there. THE NERVE!
I like her cause she is spiritual and I think she can see my aura and isnt a cuntfaced bitch.
what could I say about work? uhhhh...I am pretty sure the store is gonna SHUT DOWN.
big surprise.
when the owner is looking for another source of income you can pretty much guess what that means.
I dont care.
everything is shuttin down and its SO interesting and fun.
like ring around the rosie we all fall down.
THE OTHER NIGHT THIS TRAIN KEPT TOOTING ITS WHISTLE ALL NIGHT!! is that what a train has? a WHISTLE? A HORN? whatever it has it kept tooting it. I thought somethingwas WRONG! like the end of the world. WHY else would A train lose its cool like that? did someone DIE on the tracks? a bicyclist? whatever it is its DISTURBING MY REST!
I hate trains. they are dangerous and annoying jerks.

YOU AND ME, WE ARE ON FIRE!

real i quick I blog.
my sink EXPLODED TONIGHT!
all i dids wuz innocently puts a lil BROCOLLI STEMS and OLD RAVIOLI in it and then BOOM BANG CRASSH!
BIG HUGE ENORMOUS FUCKING MESSS ALL OVER THE KITCH.
but lets be honest here and let me admit outloud that I have a BAD BAD BAD BAD relationship with garbage disposals.
but come on! DISPOSE MO FO!
THATS ALL I ASK.
and DISPOSE OF PROPERLY!
is that too much to expect?
obvioulsy YES.
If I spend the night I will mos def fuck your sink up so DON'T even think of inviting me over UNLESS you like fucked up messes.
on a more personal NOTE I watched the bach 2nite and it kinda made me mad.
but NOT too too mad.
I told the baby girl of 24 that was weeping tears of heartache this:
"dont cry baby girl it'll be ok."
she was alll " WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE???" and I was like
"ANYWHERE BITCH!! THATS THE BEAUTY OF THE SITCH! and please please for the love of the lord in heaven STOP BEING A WHINY ASSS BITCCCHH! its just straight up unattractive."
anyways, I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and it got my SOCKS ALLLLL WET!!! what stress. BUT really I was all whatevs.
paper towels are all so different the more money the paper towel the BETTER the paper towel. IMAGINE THAT!!!
so yeah I need to wake up at 5 am because I am addicted to FITNESS!

FOCUSED, FEARLESS

me again.
my day was good and a lil surprising. AND THATS WHAT I WANT.
life is full of unexpected twists and turns that cause nausea,
I don't know what I am saying but I am just saying. and I am not talking about pregnancy. but no joke that could fuck your shit up. lil human beings are a bigger mess than big humans, poor lil things.
cycling didnt work out tonight BUT not cos I didnt go cause I was ON the stationary bike BUT my son had an issue that had to be dealt with so I had to LEAVE. it was mandatory. I was upset but now I am cool.
right now I am noticing that the microwave door is open and thats annoying me.
and i am trying to drink myself to sleep tonight.
I cant sleep.
no big thang.
everyone that comes into my business asks if we are closing and I am going to start SAYING "YES! YES WE ARE! BUY STUFF NOW! TO SAVE THE WORLDS ECONOMY!"
dont call me EVER!
I will totally hang up on you.

IGNORANCE IS BLISSS & MADNESS IS 4 LOVERS

THAT PIZZA WAS VERY DOUGHY and VERY ENORMOUS!
i liked it and ate half of it.

I thought I was gonna be able to attend the morning spin class this morning but I just cant do it.
there just is not enough time to get to there and here and over to that place and fit in a shower so I will have to go tonight at 6! SOMETIMES its hard to feel motivated around the evening time cos evening time is wine and dine time and yeah but one hr is nothing.
OK! is that alright with you!?
I feel good about it.
what motivates you?
summer motivates me.
and the beach
and the pizza place around the corner from the beach.
you know the place.
WE are soooo going back there and carving our names on the tables.
summer is my middle name.
not really but YOU get THE IDEA!
i wanna go to the water park too.
its been too long.
I have to vaccummmm and get ready to open up the shop now.
juts wanted to pop in and say hi.
and sorry if I forwarded a GOD POEM to you. I HAD to DO IT! HAD TO!
stay cool and be fly.

don't tell anyone about this.

I made the biggest MISTAKE of my life this weekend.
bought some special fooootballl edition OREO cookies w special football designs!
for TWO REASONS
reason # 1 because of the $1 off coupon it provided when purchasing 1 gallon of milk w said OREOS,
and reason # 2 being
the exciting and fun football designs they offer me to look at while eating them.
does this make any sense to you? it makes sense to me.
BUT as the college KIDS these days say: "my point is" - I WANT SOME COOOKIES REAL BAD!
but no no I already squirted some reddi whip in my mouth to control this craving.
Because you know WHTA!? fuck those fatty boom batty football edition oreos
I REFUSE TO ALLOW THEM TO CONCUR me any further and MAKE ME GROSS.
maybe during the big game i will have 3. do you hear me?!
I SAID 3.
THREE!
w some milk.
but ANYWAYS enough about those selfishly cute cookies with their money saving ploys.
I got a brand new purple and black bike today and a LOCK you bastards!
it going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. wonderful.
it was 69 dollars and I bought it w quarters and nickels.