Monday, July 04, 2005


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basically I have been taking so many pictures of myself that it seems to me to be obsessive.
I mean I have always enjoyed seeing pictures of myself.
well, at least the good ones.
I guess.
But I bring this up now because just the other day I started to organize my old pictures and stuff.
And I came across some not so pretty ones.
I mean some I liked but others I felt were hideous.
But whatever.
I found my senior ID.
Holy Fucking Moly.
I looked not so great.
I looked like a dumb bitch.
But that is ok.

When I was little I used to look at my baby pictures and stuff and cry.
Wishing I was still a baby.
I did this when I was like 6.
I WAS still a baby.
I remember asking my sister when I was turning 11 if that was still young.

Now I can look at pictures from my past with delight.

Its the pictures from the present that seem to bother me most.

The ones I take.
The ones with just me.
I look at them and I just can't see me.
Who the FUCK is THAT!?!
25 year old me.
Basically I feel lost.
So it actually really bothers me to look at these pictures and it also embarasses me to post them.


It is like I am posting a naked picture of myself.

But obviously i am not.


I have said too much.


carrie said...

i feel similarly. it is like a strange process of continual self-discovery and self re-creation.

janet said...

If you put any of those pictures of me with the weird bangs on the internet I am going to cry.

Kathryn said...

haha i won't

carrie said...

what bangs? i wanna see!!!!! do you still have them, janet? or was it a long time ago?

Janet said...

Oh good god. I had bangs that I curled and they would go crooked and it wasn't that long ago. I was 21. Kathryn had really short bangs at the time. It was bad.

I have sweepy bangs now. At least they are SUPPOSED to go sweepy.

Kathryn said...

ha ha ha
i look like flipping MISS PIGGY in those ugly ass pictures.
I should post em'