Vain am I?

I eat breakfast in the very early morning. Usually around 12 0r 1 am.
then i sleep for an hour or so and wake up and eat some more.
or sometimes I just drink a lot of juice.
My eating habits are totally bugged out.
My sleeping habits also.
I wake up about every other hour.
Many things are erratic.
But I bring it all on myself.
I choose to be the way I am.
It is a conscious choice.
Now I just have to be proud.



There is a wasp flying around my house.

It Is Official

We are 25 going on 16!
We tried hard to get Drew to join in on our flower pot fun but he gracefully declined!
After all he will be turning 3 in a few days!
Silly girls.

When you have LOTS to do in little time, it really is just best to dance around Target like you have not a care in the world.

While I was sliding into the pot some suction thing happened and I truly did not think I was going to be able to get my butt out of it.
I kinda panicked and imagined people gathering around while Janet and maybe a Target employee pulled at both ends.
While my son watched from the comfort of his cart.
Thankfully none of that happened.
Except the panicking but that is nothing new for me.

What other pointless shit did I do today?
Oh I painted my toe nails and spilt nail polish all over the place.
That was cool.

Sometimes I wish people didn't have mouths.
That way there would be no speaking.
Talking is such a waste of time.
Especially when it is just crabby talk.
Well, sometimes talking crabby talk is fun and entertaining.
But that all really depends on the company.
But still, it isn't really healthy for the soul.
Water is healthy.
I need more water.

Cool Summer Games

I am amazed at my lack of responsibility.
I do not want to do anything that I am supposed to do.
And a lot of times I don't.
I do the exact opposite.

Actually I don't like doing anything.
I don't like doing pretty much all the things my daily routine involves.
I could go on forever.
So what does that leave me with?
I am pretty sure that most people feel this way too but function pretty normally.
So it appears.

Just doing what they have to do.

Because they have
no choice in the matter.

I don't like that.
I need choices.
My opinion matters to me.
And if I don't want to do something why should I have to?
Why can't I just do exactly what I want?
Why isn't it okay to be selfish?
Why can't I love only myself?
FUCK. I AM BRAT!

Basically I can't have lunch with a friend because I have to bring my grandma to the doctors.
How horrible of me.
I guess I just feel that my time to myself, to do exactly what I want is very limited.
But maybe I don't deserve free time.
Ya know being a wife and a mother .
Not to mention daughter and grandaughter.
So I will just be all those things and never just Kathryn.
There.
Settled.
Now everyone is happy.
Everyone but Kathryn.
But too bad. She is a spoiled brat anyways!

But ya know I probably can have lunch tomorrow.
But it is more than just the lunch.
It is a trillion million things.
And they add up to this.
Resenting everything and everyone for needing me.
I need me too!

Identity. Who needs it?

Niether Here Nor There

Don't cry.
But I will cry.
I just want to stay.
You just stay for a while and then you leave.
What about my kiss and hug?

Whatever.

Well, bye.
Lets all hope for a happy day full of smiles and laughter.
Is that so hard?
No.

It's All Grey

Nothing is black and white.



WHy can grey be either spelled with an e or an a.
Or am I wrong here?

So I would have to say that in the area of sex, that daytime sex and nighttime sex really do differ.
Just a random observation of mine.

I like Live.
Do you?
Here is some lyrics of theirs.
It is one of my favorite songs.
THe song is Beauty of Gray!

if I told you he was your brother
we could reminisce
then you would go about your day
if I said you ought to give him
some of your water
you'd shake your canteen and walk away

the perception that divides you from him
is a lie
for some reason you never asked why
this is not a black and white world
you can't afford to believe in your side

this is not a black and white world
to be alive
I say the colors must swirl
and I believe
that maybe today
we will all get to appreciate

the beauty of gray

if I told you that she was your mother
we could analyze the situation and be gone
if I said you ought to give her
some of your water
your eyes would light up like the dawn

the perception that divides you from her
is a lie
for some reason you never asked why
this is not a black and white world
you can't afford to believe in your side

this is not a black and white world
to be alive
I say the colors must swirl
and I believe
that maybe today
we will all get to appreciate

the beauty of gray

look into your eyes
no daylight
new day now

Few Things

I swear if my cat can't figure out that he needs to walk down stairs to go pee, then I don't know what I am going to do.
He pees in my damn BED! HOW GROSS is THAT??
I don't like it.
THAT is exactly why I didn't want a cat.
But I got one. One that can't find its liter box when he is upstairs.
I guess I need to have 2 places for him to go.
Idiot cat.
Pets are such a hassle. Why do we bother?
Boredom.
When I am bored I entertain myself by buying an animal?
Or hey lets have a CHILD!
I am bored, lets go buy another baby!!

And another way I don't like to wake up is by the sound of my husband huffing and puffing over the laundry hamper.
I mean is there a problem?
Need some clean clothes?
Really?
How come?
I didn't really ask any of those questions.
But I just layed in bed and pretended to be asleep.

Then he left for work and didn't even kiss me goodbye.
FINE!
Then the cat pee pee in the bed.
Today is turning out super fucking duper!

All up in the KOOL_AIDE!

But it seems that I don't know the flavor.
Looks like cherry to me.
But I probably am wrong.
Usually I am.

Today I am going to church with me grandma.

She has been in the hospital for like 2 months.

The 1st Sunday that she was in the hospital she asked me to please go anyways so people would ask me about her and I could relay that she was in the hospital and such.

Well that was a disaster.

In my head at least.

I drove away from the church at least twice.
But in the end I went in all by myself cause I started to feel guilty since she asked me to go.

Well, know one spoke to me.
But the preist.
He seemed to be staring right at me the whole time.
I felt as if he could see right through me.
I didn't belong there without my grandma.

I was so uncomfortable.
Maybe the fact that I smoked a lil' grass before I went did not help.
But I am JUST KIDDING!
I would never do that!

So the parish probably thinks my grandma died.
But today she has risen.

I like going to church.

I like looking at all the families.

I imagine what they are like outside of church.

And everyone always sits in the same spot.

I wonder if our spot is taken?



Anyways,

I am not very religious but sometimes it seems like things would be easier if I was.

I WANT IT ALL!

Ow!

Seether is neither loose nor tight.
Seether is neither black nor white.
I tried to keep her on a short leash,
I tried to calm her down.
I tried to ram her into the ground, yeah.

Can't fight the seether
I can't see her till I'm foaming at the mouth.

Seether is neither big nor small.
Seether is the center of it all.
I tried to rock her in my cradle,
I tried to knock her out,
I tried to cram her back in my mouth, yeah.

Can't fight the seether
I can't see her till I'm foaming at the mouth.

Keep her down, boiling water,
Keep her down, what a lovely daughter.
Oh, she is not born like other girls,
But I know how to conceive her.
Oh, she may not look like other girls,
But she's a snarl-toothed seether, seether!

Can't fight the seether

I can't see her till I'm foaming at the mouth
Seether
I can't see her till I'm foaming at the mouth, yeah.




Willy Wonka has been on in my house non-stop yesterday and today.
It makes me want some candy real bad.

SCARY

I feel all creeped out lately.
I can't publish anything.
so just forget it.

Blogging may possibly be THE LAMEST THING EVER!

Just a bunch of words that really mean nothing. BLAH BlAh BhlA!
But still I read and still I type.
Wasting time.
But what for?
Is it even fun?
Do I really even enjoy reading other peoples bullshit?
Do I really even enjoy typing my bullshit?
No.
I would rather be real.
And this blog that you lay your bright eyes upon is not in the least bit "REAL"!
FAKE!
FAKE AM I!
You will never ever ever know the real.
That is all mine.
Not this SHIT BLOG INTERNET PIECE OF CRAP!

And HEY doesn't my blog look frecken TIGHT!?
Yeah.
You know it does.

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

Janet and I are truly blessed,
WE are the cool kids.
We can always find the angle.
Keeps us on our toes.



Pardon me but Drew had a KICK ASS DAY!
He got away from his lunatic mother,
swam with a purple noodle, and played some cards.
I do believe Crayola owes me some money.



The Sureal Life and The Real World are the essence of quality T.V.!
Thank you TIVO!
Oh and I am going to go eat some Rice Krispies!
With lots of sugar!! That is how I stay so sweet.

JUST DON'T STAND THERE LIKE AN ASSHOLes

Why does the world have to be filled with people who are just ASSHOLes?

They are everywhere.

Granted YES YES I can be an asshole of one kind or another. But usually for good reason.

And usually directed towards a specific person.

Not much random assholeness going on in me.

At least I hope not.

But these people who work in fast food restaurants and banks and other places that people have no choice but to interact really should wake up and realize that THEY are the ones setting the tone for other peoples day.

Not to mention their own.

SO PUT A MOTHER EFFING SMILE ON YOUR FAT FACE when you greet me.

When you ask for my order, or whatever other business I may be conducting.

Don't just stand there and act like a BLOB OF NOTHINGNESS!

It really frustrates me.

Maybe it is because I have not had a "real" job in awhile and I have forgotten all the bullshit that comes along with that.

But still lets just try to be pleasant and friendly and remember that we really are in control of other peoples day.

And one FRECKEN smile goes a long way.

I guess.

I don't know.

I just want some good service.

Service with a FUCKINsmile.

HEY I HAVE AN IDEA!

Lets play scrabble!!!!!!




It will be the funnest coolest thing ever!!!
But not really.
It was fun the 1st round but the second round was just doomed.
And our rules were just plan retarded.


And my gosh dard KITTY!!
That son of a bitch!
He pee peeed on my frecken bed!!
What a nice wake up call.
Little droplets of kitty piss on me.
Good Morning, rise and shine!
BASTARD!
But I am a loving soul.
I will forgive him.

Blister in the SUN

Too hot to do anything but lay in the sun in get lots of blisters. That is what I like to do with my summer days. get blisters.

When I'm out walking I strut my stuff yeah I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite I just might stop to check you out
let me go on like I blister in the sun
let me go on big hands I know your the one
body and beats I stain my sheets I don't even know why
my girlfriend she's at the end she is starting to cry
let me go on like I blister in the sun
let me go on big hands I know your the one...

lordy LOU

Ah what a trip.

I can't even type.

That is how tired I am.

Truly. Madly. Deeply.

I don't even know if that means anything.

Just kinda fun to say.

Drama drama drama.

Secret Track

Today was a super duper day.
For the most part.
It included swimming, pizza, and too much sun.
Some of my VERY favorite things.
Drew went down a slide and splashed into a pool.
And yesterday he made friends with a turtle that he named Toto.
These last few summer days have been very fulfilling.
For the most part.

My New Friend

Title

This summer seems to be FLYing by!
I have not even been to the stinkn beach.

Last night me and some people watched VH1 Awesomely BAD BREAK UP SONGS.
Remember that ACE of BASE song. "DON't TurN ArOUnD"
I love that song.

Don't turn around cause your gonna see my heart breaking. DON't turn Around cause your gonna see me cryn. JUST WALK AWAY!
It goes something like that. THAT SONG RULES!

My gosh darn kitty is always trying to eat our food. NO KITTY! Thats A BAD KITTYY!

Today I am going to an ICE CREAM SOCIAL!!!!!!!
WHOOOOO HOOOOOO! That is a genuine WHOOOOO HOOOOO by the way!

What other pointless and silly stuff can I type.
Um yesterday I stayed in my pajamas till 3! That was cool...
I made Drew breakfast for dinner cause I am cool like dat.
Actually I think that is totally un cool, but I had no dinner plans and it was the fastest and easiest thing to round up.
He was happy. But he also would be happy with a fruit by the foot for dinner.

GEEZ it is windy outside.
I HATE THE WIND! It serves no purpose.
I want things to be still.

WHAT THE HELL?!

I did not enjoy WAR OF THE WORLDS.

I liked the beginning but the middle and the end were just a BORE!

To me at least.

I am not exactly sure what I was excpecting.



I expect too much from everyone and everything.

I only set myself up to be let down.

SUMMER @))% BABY!!!

Here is a FRESH picture of Janet and I after one of the CRAPPIEST movies EVER!
SO CRAPPY in fact that we started to take pictures of the actors in the crappy movie.



Really entertaining.



Janet was considerate enough for the other people in the theater that she turned off the flash.
I would have just flashed away without any regard for others.
The movie was
Bewitched.
I think it should be called BECRAPPED!
hahahahaha ok.

On a lighter note/
My Health.
I feel sick and pretty yucky.
Last night I swear I was having chest pains.
I may be sick.
NO NO I am fine.
I also had this sharp pain like in my neck yesterday.
and shooting pains down my arm.
I am having small heart attacks, and a few days after I feel real sluggish and sick.
That is super.
Now I am making it out to sound more serious then it actually is.
Nevermind.
I am fine.
I just need some sleep.

Independence Day

OKAY NOW

basically I have been taking so many pictures of myself that it seems to me to be obsessive.
I mean I have always enjoyed seeing pictures of myself.
well, at least the good ones.
I guess.
But I bring this up now because just the other day I started to organize my old pictures and stuff.
And I came across some not so pretty ones.
I mean some I liked but others I felt were hideous.
But whatever.
I found my senior ID.
Holy Fucking Moly.
I looked not so great.
I looked like a dumb bitch.
Really.
But that is ok.

When I was little I used to look at my baby pictures and stuff and cry.
Wishing I was still a baby.
I did this when I was like 6.
I WAS still a baby.
I remember asking my sister when I was turning 11 if that was still young.

Now I can look at pictures from my past with delight.
Kinda.
Sorta.

Its the pictures from the present that seem to bother me most.

The ones I take.
The ones with just me.
I look at them and I just can't see me.
Who the FUCK is THAT!?!
25 year old me.
Kathryn.
Basically I feel lost.
So it actually really bothers me to look at these pictures and it also embarasses me to post them.

But I CAN"T HELP IT.

It is like I am posting a naked picture of myself.

But obviously i am not.

obviously.

I have said too much.