i am going off the rails on a crazy train

see those pants?
well that was them last week.
this week they look way worse.
soon they will need to be thrown away I guess.
i have had these pants for a long time but I expected to be able to keep them forever.
i guess I was being unrealistic.

Give us this day our daily bread.

Our Father, which art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
in earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
But deliver us from evil.
[For thine is the kingdom, The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.] Amen.

and I would like to add that someone has drivin down my street blaring the same PINK song on like volume one hundred 3 times now!! and its starting to get on my nerves.
is she poopular again or somth?
and I feel nervous.
I saw a guy riding on a bike today and that made me nervous also.

reduce steam and break hard

come over please to fold and organize all my clothes.
i will try outfits on and you can shake your head yes or no.
it will be fun becasue I am fun to be around.
and I will make you something good to eat.
do you like rootbeer floats?
I used up my last few pieces of bread for some peanut butter and pickle sandwiches so I cant make you anything that involves bread.
like toast.
and maybe I dont have any vanilla ice cream.
but it doesnt matter cos I am about to leave my house anyway.
i guess I need to go to the grocery store.
its hot.

formula 50

its so silly of me to take pictures of myslef in a toilet area while out and about during the day.
its very teenagerish. right?
no?
its artistic?
yes. I am art.
anyways what was I saying?
oh yes vitamin water is prettty good and it just so happens that I bought a few bottles at TARGET for 1 dollar.
i am getting healthy right now.
but last night I stayed awake till 4 am cos thats how i be.
it was cool cos my son and I fell down my stairs right around 3:45 am and right after that I pretty much fell asleep.
i have stairs running up and down all over this bitch.
they are helping prolong my life.

i swear too much.

You Are Grape

You are bold and a true individual. You are very different and very okay with that. People know you as a straight shooter. You're very honest, even when the truth hurts. You are also very grounded and practical. No one is going to sneak anything by you. People enjoy your fresh approach to life. And it's this honesty that makes you a very innovative person.

What Color Purple Are You?

simply swish

hello and good morning.
remember two weeks ago? that one SCARY Friday!? the one that was friday the 13th! remember that day?
very superstitious am i.
but I made it and you made it and here we all are.
still alive.
we made it through without being chainsaw murdered by JASON Voorhees! thats what I am afraid of. JASON.
I once had a BOYFRIEND named JASON he was basically my first real kissing boyfriend. gross.
jason is a fucked up name btw.
am I the only person in AMERICA that still enjoys watching
THE REAL WORLD?
me and like 2 others proBABLY.
HELLOOO! STeve MArtin is on LETTERMAN w/ BELA FLECK!!
night night.

one of a kind in the midst

i made my mom pay me 50 dollars to deliver her stupid spare car key to her because she BROKE the original. what a hoe bag.
she was 45 minutes AWAY! I dontwanna go into all the details right now.
she wrote me a check.
the end.

went out to a nice dinner tonight and had 2 so-so mojitos.
ended up in a mall where someone stole a pair of purple flip flops.
ok where I!
where I stole a pair of purple flip flops.

the whole universe is suffering an illness.

power up.
whatever thats supposed to mean.

UNDER PRESSURE

on my stupid FACE i had this TINY MICROSCOPIC clogged pore torturing me for dayz in the mirror so I touched it and now today its still torturing me and looks a lot worse. its like nothing was there and now there is.
good fucking job Kathryn.
way to improve on the situation.
like always.

and my outgoing email is all fucksdup for the longest time now.
corresponding can be such a bother cant it?

Make you wanna say my name girl

no.
ok?
ok.
good.
whadya say now?
oh sorry.
its quiet in here.
i am so sick of my itunes selection.
BLAH AND BARF all over that dawg!
I recently ate a plate of ZESTY NACHOS.
i need a carb FREE diet like NOW.
7 days CARB FREE WILL DO IT.
but what does that all that mean? NO BREAD RIGHT?
can I have dairy?
no cereal.
someone cover the basics for me.
you are bright and well educated so please inform me.
please provide me with a clue.
I wont ever go carb free. thats a joke. but then again maybe 7 days would be doable.
and what ever happened to me drinking more water?
i never drink water.
i know i would benefit from water drinking so its so STUPID of me that I dont start to guzzle it all down.
but i only really like fiji water.
what else?
i started to knit last week.
right now I am currently knitting nothing.

my dreams are so much snappier than yours

church is so stupid. I hate it. some little girl brats and little boy brats were recieving their very 1st holy communion this morning so that caused a ruckus. we sat in the very last pew. and was my gramma pissed! I was a little ticked too but i got over it very fast.
you can see a lot more people and action from back there. a stranger man shook my hand really fucking hard too. like painfully squeezed my hand.
then he shook my hand A SECOND TIME for no reason whatsoever about 15 seconds later but all softly.
ok dude what spiritual jesus message are you giving me here? his girlfriend or wife or sister called him STUPID.
he was bald and had funny teeth.
could have been you.
oh and I hate my mother for sure today. i think she is the worst. and I would like to move far far far away from her.
or perhaps she could just stay the fuck away from me.
she was all freaked out by my play-doh recipe.
oooohh ahh yea. playdoh. impressive.
she always comes over and then has to SUDDENLY leave to go get GAS.
and I am LIKE OH REALLY!
BYE!!! bye like right when you pulled up.
and so soorrys if your mom is dead or far away and you miss your mommy.
I bet your mom was great.
or is great.
maybe you should fuck her.

I AM SO GLAD I GOT HAIR! I AM SO GLAD I GOT EYES!

going out of town is the best.
especially with strangers. well not realllly strangers.
i think I am going to be traveling in one of those bigcarpool vans.
and a train. so I am looking forward to all thats.
I also I had a CHILI DOG YESTERDAY AND IT WAS SICKSICKSICK!
AS MY DOG IS. poor girl smells like vomit because she puked allll over the stairs the other evening. it was very disgusting.
I had to clean it up and I was hysterical.
she also puked on my lovely deep purple throw rug that I bought at costco.
dumb sick bitch. and I took a picture of the mess and its reallly NASTYGROSS and I said I was gonna post it for you.
but i dont know. thats pretty rude. and i am not so sure I wanna even look at it. you can see the two pieces of chicken mixed in with other stomach stuff. the chicken is what made her sick.
and she ate some bubbles too.
I know this is ALLL very very amusing for you and I am providing you with lots of quality FUN HERE but
I HAVE GOT!@ TO TAKE A SHOWER NOW!

should be fairly easy to dress for 67 degree weather.

and its EARTH DAY. so you should plant a tree in front of my house. but take the dead one away first.
thanks.

p.s.
I saw teenage mutant ninja turtles in the movie theater.
its good.

SUNNY SKIES AND PIZZA PIES

hello. I am an idiot.
theres some reallygood FUNeducational shows for kids on HBO and if I would pay a little attn maybe I would LEARN SOMETHING.
it feels more like a saturday to me today. I bet you agree.
I have done nothing interesting this week, but maybe tomorrow that will change.
but I did see a magical bubble floating in the air yesterday. and maybe just living life is interesting enough.

what does look close and think even closer mean??

where does yesterday come after today??
i dont know.

the answer is in the dictionary.

wave bye bye.

THE CHARACTER HAS TO BE THERE

I am watching this really GREAT show called WHO WANTS TO BE A PUSSYCAT DOLL or something like that.
its down to like 4 hoes now.
regardless.
in front of TARGET this afternoon a 13 yr oldish black boy asked me if I was on the CW'S show americas next top model and at first I was all like huh?? whad you say fool?
BUT then I quickly was all OH YEAH THAT WAS ME!
and he said really? are you SERIOUS?!
then I told him to SHUT UP and STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!
and continued on with the shopping.
I bought 4 boxes of cereal, deodorant, firming lotion(HHAAHAHA), salt, paper towels, strawberry cream cheese, and grape juice.
Im sure I've left some stuff out.
I will look for my receipt.
i really want a hummingbird feeder.

that hits the ugly face on the head

i feel like calling everyone a DUDE today.
BECAUSE DUDE!
DUDE@!
I was about to go on a RAMPAGE ABOUT SOMETING BUT I wont.
it was not in good taste.
I have been avoiding my grammma.
SHIT THAT IS STUPID OF ME!
AND everyday I try and try to clean my house but its just ALWAYS A MESS.
I need those maids in my life again.
pleease someone contact them and tell them to come clean my house.
and pay the bill for me too.
thanks.
BUT YOU WONT DO THAT WILL YOU!?!! NO! bECOS YOU SUCK! anD YOU NEVer DO ANY NICE THINGS FOR ME.
all you do is MAKE ME MAD anD force me to SCREAM CURSE WORDS!
LIKE FUCK!
does it show that I just returned home from a YOGA SESSION?
DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?
IF SO! you can fucking say it to my face right before I POUND YOUR STUPID SKULL IN! and your blood SPLATTERS ON THE HARD BLACK ASPHALT IN THE PARKING LOT DOWN STAIRS! you will be bleeding.
where would that be exactly?
but I am sure I am just going with these useless plans for nothing because YOU think YOGA IS super cool and when you get right down to the heart of the matter YOU think that EVERYTHING I DO IS AMAZINGLY COOL AND THAT IS THE RIGHT ON TRUTH OF THINGS.
it is currently sucking in the weather department in this shop.
no sense.

I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING

You May Be a Bit Antisocial...

Antisocial? That may be a bit of an understatement. You think rules are meant to be broken - and with gusto! Having no fear, you don't even think about consequences. But people love you anyway... you've got a boatload of charm.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

positive and negative ions

do you even pay any attn to me???
I said that I was goign to go see DANE COOK! remember that?
do you even know who that is?
well I went to the LAUGH FACTORY on TUESDAY NIGHT with a few good fellas.
to make a long story short it was an odd night and in the end i was very anxious for it to be OVERWITH.
I WAS CRAWLNG OUT OF MY SKIN AND LOSING MY FUCKING MIND EVRYMINUTE THAT LEAD TO THE EARLY AM!
I had these two vodka tonics that were so GROSS!!!! tasted like salt water.
I dont know maybe I am not so sure about the ENTIRE THING.but ya wana know what? I woke up feeling so good WEDNESDAY MORNING!
I was like READY TO GO! HELLOO SUNSHINE WITH ENERGY BOLTS!
and thursday too. and friday was great also but today saturday I lost it.
the weather is effecting me, its like all this electricity in the AIR> catch my drift.
but dane cook would not shut the fuk up man. he just kept going on and on and on until the break of dawn.
but it was fun.
and the way I see it the seating arrangment could have been thought out a little mores.

thats luxurious

how was your day?
i dont care.
i took a 3 hour nap.
2:30-5:30 pm
it only felt like an hour.
when I woke up it took me a few secs to remember WHO I was WHERE I was and WHAT exactly was going on.
so I gathered all the data and examined all the facts and concluded that everything was all right and good according to my standards.
then I inhaled some roast beef and colby jack cheese slices followed by some strawberry soda.
unorthodox I know.

YOU MEAN I AM A LEMON CAKE

You Are a Lemon Cake

Strong, sexy, and overpowering. You know who you are, and you're not afraid to show the world your fabulous self. You're confident, charming, and extremely popular.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

friends4life!

it is still very very windy.
the dead tree in my front yard may break in half and fly through my bedroom window and land straight in my gut.
that sounds awfully painful.
I took a pill on an empty stomach and threw the holy fuck up well not holy fuck just some of my sugarmilky tea.
the 2nd time I threw up in my mouth and had to hold it in whilst runnning to a TRASH CAN.
that sucked DUDES.
i will take all these things as a sign.
everything is a sign.
you better recognize.
I have to go.

it feels good on my face

I have outstanding balance. I can stand on one leg for a quite a very long while.
i prove it almost everyday to myself and others and it brings us all delight. I am like some kind of ballerina.
and its like I live in a wind machine. that probababably actuallly is the reason I am so outstanding in the balancing skills area.
helps me stay focused on my balancing.
I owe all my talents to the wind.
thank you wind.
for blowing on me hard.

i am bored and excited.

I AM THE FUCKING EASTER BUNNY

walking my dog makes me feeel like a good pet owner and I can see that she is smiling.
doing good things makes you feel happy and successful and that boils down to great.
I have LOTS of many wonderful easter day pictures of me, my gramma, my son and my easter breakfast table that I will not be sharing with the internet.
maybe one. maybe no.
I really have a sore back today I pushed my muscles to the limit on SATURDAY WITH A GIRL NAMED JESSE.
she is getting married in August. August 4th a day before my sons BIRTHDAY!
I will be IN JESSES wedding.
just kidding.
I am not allowed to be involved in wedding parties.
EASTER DAY WAS A DOPEALICIOUS EASTER DAY AND IT WAS ALL THANKS TO ME!
and some of them.
basicallly jesus has been resurrected.
I am not hungry right now.

it's brain food

I cant stop eating jelly beans.
delicious jelly beans.
and tomorrow I will eat peeps.
sugary peeps.

Your Aura is Red

You have a high level of emotion. This can mean passion, but it can also mean rage. Usually, you don't take these emotions out on others. You just use them as motivation - and it works! The purpose of your life: embracing all the wonders of the life, lots of travels, and tons of adventures Famous reds include: Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Lopez Careers for you to try: Dancer, Boxer, Surgeon

What Color Is Your Aura?

i took this test too

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

it doesnt have to be by the book

ok. so some things have happened.
yesterday A crazy bitch almost killed me and my son in our car and i ended up screaming STUPID BITCH!!! out my window and then realized that maybe I should have screamed something else since my 4 yr old was in the car. BUT FUCK!
weaving in and out of traffic going into ONCOMING TRAFFIC! with her emergency lights flashing. she was chasing this Yellow mustang. probably her boyfriend. she thought she was being AWESOME.
then she ended up hittitng a brick wall and I sort of laughed.
ok whatelse. I have been talking on the phone this morning cos I am a chatty Kathy today. that was a nickname my 3rd grade teacher gave me. MS. KIOUS. she was a cool teacher. one day I peed my pants her classrm though and was wearing tights so it was a major pain for me. I was inline!

WE ARE ALL going OUT tuesday night without you
to a comedy club and I guess DANE COOOK WILL BE THERE!
we know people.

i am going to take a long walk and then I am going to drive around my town cos I have stuff to do in it.

OH BUT BEFORE I GO
last night I made like 17 cookies and I would say I ate 10 of them.

full of exaggerated literary devices and effects

I HAVE A PEDICURE APPT AT A FANCY SALON IN 45 MINUTES!
SUCKERS!
HAHA
uh lets see I viewed that motion picture called 300 last night in the comfort of my own home and it was just OK 4 me.
it def couldve used some MORE SEX SCENES.
can i get a "HECK YEA!"?
woot woot.
the temp. today is goign to reach 86 degrees here in my neck of the woods and I think that it MAJORLY DOPE AND PIMP of the weather GODS!
and I have HEAPS AND HEAPS of activities.
a lil painting, a little gardening and a little of this and a little of that.

i know that throughout my days I have PROFOUND and HEAVY thinkings happenning in my head but I KEEP FORGETTTING!
and right now I am focused on what color I should have my toenails painted.
I am thinking like a DARK DEEP PURPLE.
Purple has been my favorite color for 27 YEARS!
so fuck off.
person who poses.

A pie made from the edible organs of a deer or hog

i dont visit tanning beds anymore for I am very aware of the skin damage that can/will occur.
its seriious! serious as a chainsaw!
i have done a super job yesterday and today at the puttng away all my clothes job and it seems like I have lots of ROOOM to BUY MORE!! MORE CLOTHES!
AND MORE PURSES, HANDBAGS AND SHOES! JUST MORE STUFF PLEASE.
do you know why I started a blog? and continue with such enthusiasm?
i had a reason.

I have a small supply of neapolitan ice cream sandwiches and everytime i eat one its this HUGE BIG decision making time for me. the where should i start to eat it decision. the strawberry side or the chocolate side?
today I ate one in the bathtub. strawberry first.

WHAT is WITH ALL THIS BAD KILLER PET FOOD!?! that is NOT RIGHT!
who can we trust?
NO ONE!
I TRUST NOBODY!
I dont want my dog to be poisoned! I dont want to be poisoned either. some souplantation in like Ventura or in the OC somewhere has an ECOLI outbreak and women and children are dying RIGHT NOW because of it.
hwta are we gonna do? start a vegge garden and buy a cow?
well FINE!
i dont need you to feed me your poison.
i will eat my own thanks.
but I am lying I will cont. to eat all the poison available.
it tastes good.