lets break it down

Windy cold days are not my cup o tea. I do not want to leave my semi safe house at all. But I have to. No choice. But what makes my adventure outdoors even more uninviting is that i have to do it with my big clumsy dog. How lame is that? HSe is totally gonna fuck my shit up. She is going to make me trip and fall and curse.

She is just going to stress me out. I have to bring her to the vet and I always think that pet doctors and nurses are weird and bubbly and love my animals more than I do. Like I should just tell them that they should keep my dog.


and LOOK AT THAT MESS! WHAT IS IT?
I am a goddamn pig. I swear. The maids come every other week and this is what happens in between. Disgraceful.

I DoN'T HAVE MAGIC EYES OR ANYTHING

It is true I take one million pictures of myself a day. Most of them are horrific.
Its all an illusion.

Valentines Day is sorta annoying and cheesy.
But I do wish I could say that this lovely pink box of chocolates belonged to me.
It is so lacey and screams I LOVE YOU!
I would use it to store my birth control pills and naked pictures of myself.
maybe some pot.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

MY BRAIN JUST DOES WHAT IT WANTS

I wont even TELL you who my husband said I looked like in this picture.
Too embarassing.
eek.!

I had fun today. Played school with Janet and then we played HOOKIE!
We totally went to the mall.
I did not even STEAL anything.

I must be on an upperward swing right now.
I better watch out.
But why should I!?

YOU WATCH OUT!

I don't know who I am yelling at.
Hopefully they don't yell back.
or maybe someone yelled that at me.

?

Either way.

BIG FAT BRAT

Ever since forever I have trouble getting things OUT of my head. If I want something I can NOT stop thinking about it. HOW CAN I GO ABOUT GETTING MY WAY!? Usually I get my way.
SOmetimes I obbsess so much that I actually FORGET WHY XACTLY I WANT WHAT I WANT.
It turns out that I want it only cause I can't.
FUCKIN A!

Its a disease with NO CURE!

FILLED HER UP WITH LOVE

This was my fourth "JANET & WILLS KICK ASS VALENTINES DAY BASH".
I came up with that title. But I bet that someone would claim that they came up with it. Simple not true. It was all me.
The party is not actually held on Valentines Day but whatever.

It was a fun night. I did get poked in the eye rather early in the evening and my eye was all red and damaged for most the evening and for some reason my husband introduced himself to everyone as "Steve".
My pictures did not turn out that great. It could be that my son was taking most of them.
I am sure there were much better pictures taken with Janets camera.

I drank lots champagne with strawberries mixed with some sort of violet syrup.
And I ate lots of cream puffs.
I think I played some Catch Phrase.
I think that a little girl puked and I kept my son up and running way past 1 am.
And I think that some high school students showed up.

SHA LA LALALA THESE STREETS GOT THE RHYTHM!!

I have been eating JUST CEREAL.

Well, that is a lie cause yesterday I had some stuffed french toast from I HOP. that was very good. and fatty.

But besides that for the past week I ahve been eating just cereal. I went to Dennys the other night and I ordder some RAISIN BRAN and APPLE SAUCE.and the waitress said,"REALLY?!" Yes really. thank you.

I am on the cereal diet. Cereal,coffee and smoke diet.



Tonight I gotta party to go to!

Hopefully I will not look stupid or be stupid or seem stupid or anything stupid like that.

And THIS is ONLY the beginning

This is my 300th post. just thought I would let it be known.

So I was walking into Target holding my sons hand and this other mother and her daughter were walking out. ANd the daughter is crying. Not to abnormal, kids always cry. BUT THIS GUY says OH SHUT UP YOU FUCKIN BRAT! I was like "OH WOW".
People are so angry.

Lets see what else happened today.....
I took a GAZILLION TRILLON MILLION pictures of myself and my legs.
Cause I bought a summer dress and I am a little girl in it.

I think tomorrow I will be crafty and make some Valentines for all the special people in my life.
All 5 of them.
well maybe 7.

oh and I will wear pigtails tomorrow so the little girl feel will run strong.

I Love This Lady

Following Sadness.

SCTA EM OFTSLY

I VHAE BNLODE REAKSTS NI YM RAIH ONW. IST CLOO CUAES I MA OOLC.
TIHS MORINNG I CSEARMDE HATA I LILW EB IGONG OT DBE ON TERAL HANT INEN OCLO'CK. YHW OD I ILE OT EMSYLF? OS ILLYS.

I ONDT KNWO YHW I HVAE EDCDIED IT TYEP IKLE THSI. I UGESS I MA UJST OBRDE WIHT HET NROMAL RTADOITALNI ETMHDO. TI SI CATUALLY REVY UFN ADN I MA MAUSDED.

I SHIW I SAW SRM. AIM CCLLAWE.
I TRIDE OT DERSS IKLE REH NI HGIH SCOOHL.
YEHA I WSA NICDERBLIY OOLC.

I SHUODL TUJS OG OT UFKCING PLEES LAEADYR.

Doesnt Mean Anything At All

So I had a fuckuuva time getting myself in action today. I had a morning time bath causeI felt as if I could not bear to stand.

But I had a hair appt. The thought of canceling crossed my mind BUT that would be SILLY and STUPID. So I went and GUESS WHAT I HEARD!!!
Yep.
Nothing Compares to You
~ Sinead O'Connor!
That song is about her mother.
I told Michelle (thats who does my hair) about the recent Sinead talk and how I thought itt was funny to hear her song and she was like, "yeah its a message" and I was like "TOTALLY@@!"

As of yesterday my favorite sweater has a hole in it!
Maybe thats a message too.