OH FATHER I HAVE SINNED

I am close to saying that this day today FUUUUCCKING SUCKS!!
everyone is picking fights with me and I am gonna start to cry.
THE UNIVERSE IS PICKING ON ME TODAY.
I knew it was bound to happen soon.
I just ate some lousy lean cuisine pecan chicken shit.
it was pretty much still frozen.
I dont have 4 minutes I only have 3.
SHOULD I SEE A MOVIE????
OH NO! I would have to sneak in cause we are broke cause I lost a 100 dollar check and I smoke TOO much.
I am good for nothing and might as well be declared handicapped.

STILL listening to MADONNAS LIKE A PRAYER ALBUM TODAY CAUSE I AM NINE YEARS OLD!!
I'll be 10 soon.

I will never hear the end of things.

till death do us part

I have been singing this MAdonna song since I was nine.
I have been brushing my teeth since I was two or so.
maybe one.
probably three.
just thought I'd share.

its all one love.

my arms and mouth look HUGE in this pic.
what is wrong with me?
and i should get my hair out of my face!
do I need a clippy? a barrette?
I was in the front row.
and I drank two vodka tonics and two beers.
i think that is my last beer that is in my hand up there.
and the old men behind me were idiots and being retarded about everything.
I did let them buy me a beer though.
but these two DUDES in front of me were the coolest.
Jimmy and Orlando.

Maybe they dont want their picture on my blog and I am sorry if thats true.
They probably wont even ever know its on here.
I am pretty sure that JIMMY is in love with me and i am in love with him.
my husband had to work.

DUDE WHATEVER AND WHAT THE FUCK

i swear i have only eaten half a yogurt and 5 baby grapes with seeds in the past 24 hours.
I went grape picking today.
I'd like to call today the best day EVER.
but i wont.
I dont even know if I wanna BLOG ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT MY DAY WAS GOOD>
dont I have anything else to say then bullCRAP about my day?
NO.
I did sneak into a DEMOLITION DERBY.
coool right?
I think I cant blog anymore.
I am prettyy sure I am out of material and I am doing nothing but repeating myself.
anything I type I erase. and I constantly feel UNCREATIVE and old.
and I feel like I cant say anything.
I CANNNNNNTTTTT SAYYYYYYY ANYYYTTHHINNNNNGGG!!!!!!!!!
i dont feel that I have the energy but I like to try to give something to the internet. a little me.
have I mentioned how much I love my CAR?
and have i mentioned that I sometimes I feel that i have no control over what I am doing so IT MUST BE PREDETERMINED!
I am merely a witness.
a passenger.
i take no credit.

should I eat somecereal?

THOSE WHO NEVER QUIT

I used to have a tiny Energizer bunny flashlight.
it was pretty fly/dope.
I have always been a big fan of the Energizer Bunny.
Today is a Holiday and that automatically makes today special.

DID YOU HEAR? I AM AT THE TOP OF MY GAME.

THIS Sunday was kick ass and I am kick ass.
Hot air balloons filling up my sky is a nice way to start the day.
I guess I should say OUR sky but it was MY sky cause you probably did not see it and so it was my sky.
If only it was hot air balloon day everyday.
and wine tasting day too.
the best Sunday.
and church was totally insanereno. people wearing crazy neckbraces, priests making inappropriate jokes about single mothers, mind reading, anorexia, and paranoia.
church is really a trip.
I dont see how I will ever wanna stop going.
but why?
its boring.
i like boring things.
I am boring.
I washed my car today! that was FUN!
my car is shiny.

SNAKE IN THE GRASS

anyone have any idea what kind of snake that is?

FEARLESS=DUMB AND UGLY

I played with a baby snake today and that is fucking stupid and I should be thinking about POISON AND DEATH AND LIFE AND serious SNAKEBITES to the face!!!
I need to think straight.
I dont need to chase snakes around in the desert with my stupid little camera.
I am not working for goddamn Discovery channel!
but maybe I feel like that snake was going to bite someone so I HAD to chase it so maybe actually i saved some lives!
I am brave?

contrary to all reason or common sense

OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN! YESTERDAY WAS THE MOST RIDICULOUS DAY OF MY LIFE. sorta.
I went to the gym, then I went to a donut shop and had a jelly donut.
AT 12:30 I had my appt for my NINETY minute massage and I was nervous about whether of not I should leave my underwear on and decided it was best to take them off so I took them off BUT then I had a crazy burst of craziness and jumped up and put my underpants back on in a hurry. I guess I just felt more comfortable with them on. whatever I am dumb. SOOOOOOOOo I get all rubbed down and it was great and relaxing and alll that BUT then it was over.
all done.
SO in the parking lot as I was backing out of my spot I BUMPED MY CAR INTO AN OLD LADY!! I am serious. she did not fall down but she got bumped. and right then and there any of my remaining relaxation buzz leftover from my massage flew out of my body. I apologized to the old lady who just got bumped by the back of my Cadillac and I felt like the biggest asshole. I could blame the oldlady. but I wont.
so then I went shopping and maybe I stole a few things. maybe but maybe not.
then I had to go to the fair with some friends and family and I was introduced to people that I dont give a fucking hoot about and I drank some GIN and saw some figure 8 races and smoked some pot in some truck with some men and some boys ON THE FIGURE 8 TRACK! I was hoping to get arrested.
then i saw some nacho libre wrestling and then i saw some more goats and some more lamas and then some other stuff happened and more stuff happened.
I am leaving out a lot of details.
it was absurd.

WELL WHAT DO YA KNOW??

I get to get a 90 minute massage today!!!!!
I am not as excited as i should be cause I have some guilt issues. but I am sure they will fade away and i wiilll just enjoy myself.
today will be a great day.
its whatever I make it to be. so I will decide.

its hard to remember that the people you love are always with you even when they are not.
even when they are dead. even when they are across the country. or down the street.
I have to go to the county fair AGAIN tonight. BUT THIS TIME I PLAN ON DRINKING AND GETTing INTO SOME FIGHTS!
I already snuck in a pocket knife the other night.
I am so cool.
and the sherifffff lady was sooo rude to me.
she had to search my purse before I entered and the clasp on my purse is sorta broken and so I said "let me get that for you" and she was all " YEAH I DONT CARRY PURSES. I DONT KNOW HOW TO WORK THIS COMPLICATED THING!"
whata bitch. why are people so bitchy? I never said she did not carry a purse.
it is MY purse. I dont really see why I have to let you look in there anyways.
AND PLUS YOU STUPID COP! I SNUCK IN A KNIFE!
HA!
HA!
so there! I WIN!!!!!!
everything is a game.