Hey look

I have zero self control.

I never can hold back.

I must control my self.

It is so hard.

It is like I need someone walking around with me slappng my hand with a ruler.

I have been running.
it is like an escape.
I don't wanna stop.
But I get so tired.

I want a water back pack thing
and colored contacts for my birthday.
Tim thinks that both of those are stupid.
Whatever it is MY birthday.
26.
wow.
cool.

I can watch Kill Bill pretty much whenever.

We went to a new restaurant tonight.
So the place is all hectic with people and too many employees.
New employees.
It was fine.But our waiter or server whatever you prefer, kept saying ''no problem'' to everything.
I bet he has had a lot of guests with problems lately.
But it annoyed me.
But I am easily annoyed. That is my problem.
but for him it was "no problem".
The new restaurant was lovely.

that is the plan

I will run again today.
I am determined to be a runner.

Why do kids have to be naughty for attention?
just be good.
Drew is throwing all his little people animals because I am on this computer.
Kids.
They really are annoying.
But that is fine.
Adults are pretty annoying too.

I stole this from some crazy bitchez blog so go there and type in my BLOG Url and see it all pirate style!! so FUN!
the crazy girl is Raymi. her blog is fun.
SO anyways.
I am on my second cup of coffee.
and I feel like smoking but I won't.
At least not till after I run.

So Modest Mouse is an awesome band and everyone should listen to them.
I used to make fun of their Alright Already song but they are truly KICK ASS!
So if you are down with the mouse then I am down with you.

that is just how it is

Yes I ran .

Does it count?

I woke up and put on my running attire.
I was planning on running.
I am no good at running.
I run a little and walk a lot.
But I figure that in time I will be running a lot and walking a little.
But I guess that I actually have to leave my house to accomplish this.
I still have on my running gear.
I think I still might.
The weather is suitable.
At one point I considered popping in an old Tae Bo DVD of mine.
But really, who am I kidding?
I don't wanna listen to Billy Blain.
I think that is his name.

At least I look sporty walking around my house.

And I am ready whenever the mood strikes.

Blurry

To tell you truth I feel so low down sometimes.
THe lowest of lows.
Feeling like I want to just give up on everything and everyone.

I felt alright today.
but still have these feelings.
So much negativity.
yucky yuck.
But I should just accept things for how they really are.
Empty.

hows that?
ha ha
blah

I saw 4o year old Virgin. I laughed and laughed it was so funny.
But there is always that little area in a movie where I drift.
And think, is this starting to suck?

but it was funny.
not too many must see movies out right now.
Unless I am just unaware.

I ate at Fatburger. That was yummy.
BUt i felt like I most definitly like In-n-out best.

I should just get to sleep before i drink some coffee and have a bowl of frosted mini wheats.

Open or Closed?

I have maids.
I should not have maids.
I should clean my own house.
But then again why should I
?
But i could use that money differently.
Smarter maybe?
It does eliminate stress.
I do run around cleaning and stuff before they arrive.
I just like it to be as neat as possible for them.

I like having them clean my toilets and floors and bathtubs and dust and polish and scrub things. I hate that crap.'ANd it is what I have been doing since like the beginning of time.
Seriously think about it.
We are always cleaning.
Well most of us.
So I just wanna break.

But I still have piles of things.

Paperwork.

Magazines.

cards.

pictures.

photographs.

oh and wires.

lots of wires.

Everything really should just go and find a home already.

You're crying because you're confused. You're going
through a lot of changes and you don't know
whether to be happy or upset. You don't know
what to do or who to trust. You're afraid to
move on, but you're also afriad to stay where
you are. Sometimes you just wish you could
disappear.


Why are you crying? (beautiful pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

What else can I say

the weather has been absolutely wonderful.

I like summer but it is nice to have a change.

Sweaters in the afternoon and such.

Light sweaters.

Ones with holes in them.

And here we are

the other day I was trying to have a good day, by going out with my family for some sushi and I fell down in the parking lot.

It was really dumb.
I was holding Drew while I fell and Drew smakcked his head on the hard concrete.
It was a horrible sound.
I felt horrible.

It was chaos.

We had to go to urgent care.
But he is now fine.
It was horrible.

So I might as well blog.
I read this thing late last night that three year olds are suppposed to be "a mothers dream"
according to Dr. Sears.
Well, whatever.
WHATEVER!
Then I am screewed!
This all must all sound horrible.
Because I love my three year old son, but he is no dream.

but he does have his moments.
one extreme to the mext.
Three is just such a strange age.

Oh nothing!

I am pretty sure my views and thoughts about things and people are all wrong.

What I think I know I really do not.

Or something like that.

O r maybe I a m r i g h t o n

Either way the same goes the other way.