ever enough not enough and never ending

made snowy white fudge icing the other day instead of snowy white fudge
too much milk or not enough other stuff
however you wanna look at it is UP to you
see it which ever way
today I will do it all again with the RIGHT AMOUNTS n its gonna be great.
i am not sure what else.
try to control yourselves this evening and NOT shoot your guns up in the air because what goes up must come down.
I have been invited to 4 parties.
hopefully at least one of them is worth the drive.

its not sane

turns out i ruined my snowboots in the stupid ocean the other day.
at least I was able to enjoy them for a little while. what was it? 10 days?
a wasted 24.99 plus tax.
probably the reason i have been restless at night.
thanks a lot VENTURA!
they did sorta hurt my feet and they were a smidge too big and there is -zero snow around here so i guess its not that big of a loss.
but STILL and on the other hand
last night I noticed that some toothbrushes are getting more serious about their jobs than others.
i keep up on the new and upcoming breakthrough digital toothbrushes for 2008.
thats the business to get into right there.
BUT the only real business idea of mine that I will EVEN truly consider is owning my own little SHOPPE.
wouldnt that be amazing?
all i need is a nice tiny building in a busy part of the town to fill with stuff I LIKE in LARGE quantities.
hahaha
oh boy I AM funny.
give me a loan and I could really make something happen is all I am saying.
this town needs to buy more of what I like
or I will be forced to move.
and my hair is so CURLY!
I am all curly sue right now...
its exciting.

GO back 4 spaces

my hair is up in some FUNNY rubbery wire stick things. it's retro.
I cleaned my room like a mother fucker tday.
its beena messy mess. PILES OF CLOTHES PILES OF PAPERS PILES OF WIRES.
always.
piles of my life i guess.
my room is tiny.
but
i am all sad that christmas is over and now have to wait till next yr to do it again THE RIGHT WAY.
heres some BADS NEWS
my gramma fell a few days before xmas and broke her pelvis!!!!
and a few days before that she was fine.
hey i got an idea lets all be friendly.
and positive for a new yEAR!
stupidheads.
oh yea i feel disgustingly FAT.

so far so good

its all mostly over.
NYE is still ahead.
i dont know if I can see it through.
I had a wonderful Christmas time.
major problems aside.
i wont give you all the details.
never got around to making the snowy white fudge.
maybe tomorroe i will visit the snow. i dont know!
is tomorrow Friday?
i thought today was Wednesday.
BUT iTS NOT!
great.
life is so YIN YANG.

if we dont speak we'll get along just fine

just ate some breakfast. fuck yeah.
coffeee, avacado and some scrambled eggs.
and I am about to go to the GYM!
santa is gonna be there.
yes
tomorrow is my MOMS birthday.
and tonight is YOUR birthday.
i hvae not bought ONE single christmas gift.
last night I did however open up a gift that I bought LAST YEAR for my idiot sister in law that I failed to send out across the country.
amd now I have some BRAND NEW FLUFFFFY NEON ORANGE SLIPPERS!
fucken a right? they arent really me but whatever everyone needs slippers and she is a stupid idiot and they are MINE now. so fuck you.
I am a mean person.
MEAN.

so stupid and mainstream

that house is on "christmas lane". its the prettiest.
I am going to see The Golden Compass.
i like anti-religious themed things. who doesnt?
other than the catholics.
PLUS WE HAVE MORE free movie passes! the last of the bunch actually.
dont ask questions.
remember halleys comet!?
and FYI
the hot cocoa mix I have in my house is total garbage. hows yours?

stupefaction

christmas party fun last night.
6 vodka tonics cause i am watching my figure. 3 of em were doubles.
and no hydrogenated oils.
i am getting serious about the foods I eat.
reading labels and everything.
you should see the nasty looks I influence from the other women grocery shoppers. hags.
my thigh muscles were a little sore today because of all the showstopper dance moves I was layin down on the dancefloor in my believe me dishy high heels.
I also recieved a dozen more nice hair compliments
one from a bell ringing boy.
but i have no evidence
i dont know where I am going with all this.
but YOU i guess are the fucking expert so why dont you tell me.
i am preoccupied.

i can fucking spell

didnt make it to the movies yesterday because this huge tropical cyclone came and washed me away and I died.
but today I think I will make it.
BEOWULF! at 11:30 or 2:00.
does that suck?
i want to eat some nachos.
my life revolves around the food.
but thats w everyone
not just me.
I dont think I am special in anyway.
but my hair IS really really shiny and maybe that makes me a lil bit special.
but lots of bitches have shiny hair.
and every month I get the exact same zits in the exact same spots.
its all so predictable.
and I am wasting my time away
sitting here.
FOR YOU.
I do this FOR YOU.
and you do it for me.
its special.
I am thinking I should do some japenese commercials.

SNOW ALREADY YOU

dont forget how I dont care.
never forget that.
i went to YOGA today for the 1st time in a long time.
forgot how much breathing and stretching and focussing is involved.
its a good time to think about how prettty my hair looks and feels on my toes.
my son is growing up so fast
I cant stand iT!
and I am suspicious about his beliefs in tha SANTA CLAUS area
I dont think he believes anymoreor something.
i guess he has his doubts and he should.
he is no dummy idiot kid.
he is a brat but ALL kids are brats.
right?
right now he is playing w a blonde haired little girl in the backyard.
the pool guy brought his daughter ir neice or something and so I told him that a little girl was out there so HE SHOULD GO PLAY WITH HER.
and he gave me a thumbs up and headed out.
my husband also went outside to pick up the DOGSHIT
we owe the pool guy like over 2 GRAND and he still comes to clean our pool EVERY WEEK.
its great. I think we have a friendship or something
eventually we will give him some money.
mind your own business.
I am going to THE MOVIES today!
I have frees passes.

international incident

i bought some christmas themed mini size cookie cutters.
should have never happened.
I will have to use them all year long EVERYDAY for the rest of my life to keep myself from killing myself over it.
I plan on starting tomorrow
making raspberry jello jigglers
I will put those fucks to USE.
mmmjello.
its my favorite.
and I ALSO bought some special holiday shaped green and pinkish colored marshmallows. they were 99 cents!!!
what the fuck was I thinking?

and I hate jack in the box.

peanut butter jelly

things are a wee bit fucked up in the world.
people and places
but some things are fine.
I slept until like 10 THIS MORNING and then I had to get up because I started feeling guilty.
plus my 7th/8th grade lesbian Phys Ed teacher showed up in my dream.
and thats just means way too much dream time for my brain.
i wish I could go to Disneyland today.
this is going to be one long MONTH.
FUCK!
shit. I am in a bad mood. thats obvious.
and I hate everything.
christmas is for fags.

It's amazing

today my life plan is going to a marina for a xmas light boat parade party thing
i think this all means that i will eat cheese and drink wine and be chilling out because thats what you do on a boat.
YESTERDAY I bought me some snow boots cause Of all this snow on the ground in my town
here in the desert.
sike.
but I think I will move to COLORADO and I am just trying to FIT in.
my husband has an obsession with Denvers football team so its making sense.
we once drove through Denver and all I really remember is the homeless men and dog kibble looming in the air. I was 17.
maybe 18. who knows? its THE PAST.
I know I have mentioned that here before.
for lunch today I am gonna eat a burger w fries.
hopefully thats cheers your day up.

under PRESSURE

A TOTAL DREAM

YOU WOULD NOT FUCKING BELIEVE MY DAY!
wonderfully lousy.
and
its too windy
frightening! to me
but i think we will be safe
i have a blackberry pie cooling
so fuck yea baby!
i love being fat.

call me baby

I looked so disgusted.
couldnt get the shot right i guess.
or maybe I was thinking about something annoying. like your mom.
my life is one big volunteer job.
and right now I am not on my way out when I really should be
in fact I am in
and far from out.

I had to hang out in a really cold cold room yesterday and it was so HORRIBLE.
i am not going to survive the next ice age.
editing stuff is fun. like a hobby.
i still need a shower.

and my gas bill needs to be paid.
like today. now.

so much bullshit really

i had to speak into a microphone yesterday EVENING.
but it worked out well because I was wearing fur.

lend me 5,000 dollars

a huge stressful problem of mine is wanting to control the universe.
giving up that habit is a toughy.
DUDE fat cats are funny and very unhealthy.
the dog next door had puppies.
I want to eat one.
WANT WANT WANT always wanting
oh yeah I was pissed off from the get go this morning by a crow
or was it a raven?
WHATVEVR some big stupid blackbird.
kAH! kAH!
i forgot my camera charger at a party. I actually remembered as I wasgetting in the car to leave but was like FUCK it later charger.
lazy bones.