live life forward

so this is Christmas.
i poured WAY WAY too MUCH brandy in my egg nog. oh weells. I dont know how in the world I ever drank that stuff straight up.
hope everyone out there is having a happy holiday. I am.
stocking stuffers are my favorite part. with toothbrushes.
and the baking of the cookies.
We made cookies on Saturday! TONS of coookies! sugar, choc chip, and PEANUT BUTTER!
they all turned out so soft and delectable... I swear I would bake cookies for a living if I could. I LOVE BAKING COOKIES!
My gramma and I used to bake together and it was always the BEST TIME!
i had a hamburger tonight.
yesterday I had sushi and the day before that I had STEAK and potato and some dumb peachy icy alcohol drink. I should have ordered the blueberry martini! dont you hate THAT!?
I also had some sangria that tasted like your moms old perfume.
YUCK. I still drank it.
whatever this is boring. who really cares.
work has been FUN because its been so BUSYYYY!
if I am not ringing up the money spending shoppers I am tying ribbons on their packages and making friendly, nice and light chit chat. sometimes an old hag and her hag friends will come by and mess up the flow but I try to not focus on that.
I focus on the positive people with the cool vibes.
one dad was in the shop with his kid and he was telling his son to stop worrying so hard on the future and be here in the NOW and pay attn to the now.
I was like: DADDY! I LOVE YOU. TEACH ME ALL YOUR WISE IDEAS.
and yes. the messages are circling all around.
I like that shit. good dads and good moms doing the good.
sometimes I fuck up.
but we all do.
just dont drink and drive like some stupid idiot. and please stop wearing the UGG boots for the LOVE OF GOD.
and MERRY CHRISTMAS
we will be alright.

I AM AN ADULT WITH REAL ADULT SITUATIONS

that delicious chicken dinner was ruined to say the least. who the fuK knew?
you cant pour cold water in a hot dish without an explosion bursting in your face! I thought I have done this before and everything worked out just fine. It was more like kinda cold water. WHATEVERRR!!! I was sick and still am. Have been sick for like a WEEK, did you know? did you care? but today it ends.
I have the xmas spirit in me and I have to go take a shower now and then I have to bounce off to work like a big girl.
RAIN in predicted for today, tomorrow and the rest of my time up in this northern part of California and that means a BIG PROBLEM for my life. You wouldnt understand why because you live in your own reality which involves NON reality.
goodie for you and your shoes.

sneaky little devil

silly me took some videos of myself vacuming and sweeping. i will keep them in my personal stash. the trash can.
and riight now i am wishing for a saucy cheesy pizza slice to shove down my throat to fill the voids.
but i will settle for 2 nice big swigs of nyquil. maybe a handful of marshmallows? chocolate chips?
i am sick.
when is Easter?
I hope we never die.
happy birthday.

1 more thing
i received a notice about a certified letter and I thoought OOOOoo maybe something important and cool like money or some other cool information or doc but no it was some fucking nothing and I almost refused to sign for it.
i was all like oh yea no thanks keep it. bye. but no no I signed and accepted.
now they know I have received it.

I WANNA SEE SOME SNOW LIKE THAT ONE TIME

I work HARD at my job. after counting the drawer and turning on the music I take some pictures
do you and your eyeballs wanna see some of the merch for sale at the store that I am employed at?
I am sure you do so here ya go
some cool rings made out of glass. they break easy.
pretty christmas ornament made in nepal or somewhere
some little wrestling figure guys FROM MEXICO. I bought my son 2.
i like this ring. buy it for me? its 80 dollars and sorta kinda too big but it will work just fine,
do my hands look gross? do i need more lotion? or do all hands look this wrinkled and dry in photos?
I thought I had model hands but this photo makes me feel different. pretty ring though.
I would not put this on my tree. who would? nobody is buying this. It will end up on the clearance table. its FUNNY. the owner kinda keeps it hidden. I think they are like 15 bucks maybe even 24.95. pricey.
I would so totalllly buy it for you but I am BROKE.and the girl.
this one is acceptable for the treee.
be good.
so last night I had a dream that the left side of my neck was pierced with this BAR and it was stinging like a painful BEE sting
huurt so BAD
so i removed it. I was wondering why the hell I even had it done.
and I was driving around w/ some girl that I do not know but we seemed like good friends.
we were shopping.
just thought I would add that.
sorry if I already mentioned this to you earlier.
somedays it is very foggy in this neck of the woods
I find it pretty and peaceful for like 1o minutes then after the 1o minutes it starts to piss me off.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

THE ELECTRICITY IN THIS SHIT APARTMENT OF MINE IS ALL JACKED UP WITH ISSUES.
LIGHTS FLICKERING ON AND OFF, AIRPORTS ARE FRIED UP, CROCK POTS NOT HEATING UP, CELL PHONES NOT CHARGING UP AND THINGS LIKE THAT HAPPENING, so I hate it here.
Have I said that I wanna move back south?
SOON I will be back home,
cause home is where the heart is.
Work was ridiculously slow on this BLACK FRIDAY.
THANKS A LOT ECONOMY!
BROADWAY SHOWS ARE SHUTIN DOWN too. DONT YOU CARE ABOUT BROADWAY?
this dude I work with is soooo annoying. Saying "absolutely" EVERY 2 SECONDS to every dam costumer he interacts with.
"OH ABSOLUTELY THIS AND OH ABSOLUTELY THAT" and "HAVE A GREAT, WONDERFUL, SHIT YOUR PANTS DAY MAAM".
UGH!! PLEASE!
and not to mention trying to jump on into my sales.
he is SOOOO LAME! from portland OREGON he is and 20years young. and super skinny.
be real man and relax.
anyways whatever I hate when people annoy me cause i should be more grown up about that and be like whatev. he is just a young boy.
just forget i said anything. i love my coworkers and i love that little shop.
please dont fire me till later on...
I have been eating a lot of comfort foods like pie and gingerbread men and sweet potatoes and TRISCUITS and wheat thins w CHEESE WHIZ!!! and reddi whip.
why would I be eating cheez in a can? I must be feeling lower than low.
what up with that?

THANKS FOR JOINING US TONIGHT

hello all you exciting people on the internet. How the heck are you? Are you getting fat like me?
personally I have been baking cookies like some sort of gramma twice a week, and thats a danger zone activity
so
I tried to go to the gym this evening and the fucking place was closed.
According to the little sign posted on the door the gym closed at 3 pm today.
What for? Thanksgiving EVE?
That is totally uncalled for
and all the lights and televisions were left on.
Way to kill the planet and pretend to be open at the same time. I hate you.
I guess they will reopen on Friday or maybe they will need that day to rest.
so very annoying.
SO I was like fuck it and went to the grocery store where i purchased bottle o' BRANDY, reddi whip AND LIGHT EGGNOG.
Came home poured a bit, tasted a bit and discovered I really don't have the taste for it.
Maybe tomorrow will be feelin it and I can get all fluffy with it in my kitchen while putting the bird in the bag.

so far from mickey mouse but he doesn't even know I left

so you know that I have moved to northern CA but what you might not know that is I am not exactly loving it. Not completely meshing with the no cal vibe.
no cal vs. so cal that says it all right there,
i enjoy my job and my boss but the north part of it not so much and I cant exactly tell you exactly why that is. the people?
The sun? the air? is it different? I would have to agree that YES the air is breathable and clean.
yeah maybe it is me.
Me just missing what I know and what I used to do down south. Maybe its a combo of all the things happening, change of seasons, sun going down around 4:30, and the gym here lacks LIFE. I don't know but this feeling is not going away. its only been 2 months.
I am just saying this so I can look back on this one day and read this and see that NO I did not exactly love it at that point.
Will I stay? Probably not BUT what exactly will I do or WHERE will I go? Redondo Beach? I like that place. Will that be better? Will I ever like anywhere? Is Earth not good enough for me?
Lets see what I feel next month or two months from now. Things change by the second.
Tomorrow I will work for 2 and a half hours.
BIG BIG DAY.
Thursday I am creating a Thanksgiving feast for 3 complete with pumpkin pie.
is the economic crisis even effecting you or are you above that?

WHY

MASH UP YOUR HEART WITH MY SOUL

I appreciate leaves
I am always getting this urge to gather them up, put them in a box, smell them and save them forever,
then I realize that would be dumb and probably end up being a fire hazard.
Its just that some are so vibrant and perfect looking that I dont want to stop admiring their natural beauty.
Fall is prettty prettty pretty awesome
I have never been around so many leaves in my life and I like the crunchy noise they make when I ride my bike through them.
But leaves are not my life.
I have been sweeping a lot of leaves out into the streets lately and I like it.
Mindless work.
I also have been waking up at 5 am in order to get myself at the gym by 6 am and that takes a lot of dedication AND GUTS.
its all DARK at 5am but I love be up before the sun and seeing the sunrise
so crisp and fresh.
shit just remembered I am almost out of stupid coffee creamer.
I cut out my morning brown sugar.
USUALLY I add a teaspoon of brown sugar to my morning OATS but I ran out and figured fuck that brown sugar bastard,
I dont need those 15 extra calories.
I still love oatmeal.
Tomorrow is Friday and one of my big plans is to bake some chocolate chip cookies for some kiddos.
That is going to FORCE me to purchase some brown sugar.
and I am alll out of mustard AND CHEESE TOO! who runs out of mustard? that only happens like once in awhile so that will be a fun thing to buy.
I also need some fresh THYME for a chicken dish I am making that involves more oatmeal.

I could use some new socks and a little more cash.

what the fuck are we going to do? something that works.

I currently am DYING for a snack, like a cookie or a brownie or a SOMETHING. you know the wine is just not enough tonight. or last night.
THE other night I got beyond TRASHED and while crusin' along on my bicycle I CRASHED INTO A FUCKING CHAIN LINK FENCE. it was just wonderful. I have the bruises all over my body to help me remember the special moment.
Inside I was super PISSED about the situation.
A nice lady helped me up and asked me if I was OKAY. I said "yes" but actually the reality IS NO! NO! I am NOT OKAY please help me and carry me away.
are you ok!? REALLY REALLY OK?
no I am cool. i am straight.
I enjoy bruises and scrapes. that means I am doing something. makes me feel young.
stimulates me.
In the photos above you can see my NEW shoes. I love them and wear them everyday.
but dude things are so screwy right now.
BULLY for you if you don't notice
BUT NOTE THAT I KATHRYN FRANCIS FEEL IT.
I NOTICE THIS SHIT.
I am also praying and I trust.