Cool Summer Games

I am amazed at my lack of responsibility.
I do not want to do anything that I am supposed to do.
And a lot of times I don't.
I do the exact opposite.

Actually I don't like doing anything.
I don't like doing pretty much all the things my daily routine involves.
I could go on forever.
So what does that leave me with?
I am pretty sure that most people feel this way too but function pretty normally.
So it appears.

Just doing what they have to do.

Because they have
no choice in the matter.

I don't like that.
I need choices.
My opinion matters to me.
And if I don't want to do something why should I have to?
Why can't I just do exactly what I want?
Why isn't it okay to be selfish?
Why can't I love only myself?
FUCK. I AM BRAT!

Basically I can't have lunch with a friend because I have to bring my grandma to the doctors.
How horrible of me.
I guess I just feel that my time to myself, to do exactly what I want is very limited.
But maybe I don't deserve free time.
Ya know being a wife and a mother .
Not to mention daughter and grandaughter.
So I will just be all those things and never just Kathryn.
There.
Settled.
Now everyone is happy.
Everyone but Kathryn.
But too bad. She is a spoiled brat anyways!

But ya know I probably can have lunch tomorrow.
But it is more than just the lunch.
It is a trillion million things.
And they add up to this.
Resenting everything and everyone for needing me.
I need me too!

Identity. Who needs it?

Niether Here Nor There

Don't cry.
But I will cry.
I just want to stay.
You just stay for a while and then you leave.
What about my kiss and hug?

Whatever.

Well, bye.
Lets all hope for a happy day full of smiles and laughter.
Is that so hard?
No.

It's All Grey

Nothing is black and white.



WHy can grey be either spelled with an e or an a.
Or am I wrong here?

So I would have to say that in the area of sex, that daytime sex and nighttime sex really do differ.
Just a random observation of mine.

I like Live.
Do you?
Here is some lyrics of theirs.
It is one of my favorite songs.
THe song is Beauty of Gray!

if I told you he was your brother
we could reminisce
then you would go about your day
if I said you ought to give him
some of your water
you'd shake your canteen and walk away

the perception that divides you from him
is a lie
for some reason you never asked why
this is not a black and white world
you can't afford to believe in your side

this is not a black and white world
to be alive
I say the colors must swirl
and I believe
that maybe today
we will all get to appreciate

the beauty of gray

if I told you that she was your mother
we could analyze the situation and be gone
if I said you ought to give her
some of your water
your eyes would light up like the dawn

the perception that divides you from her
is a lie
for some reason you never asked why
this is not a black and white world
you can't afford to believe in your side

this is not a black and white world
to be alive
I say the colors must swirl
and I believe
that maybe today
we will all get to appreciate

the beauty of gray

look into your eyes
no daylight
new day now

Few Things

I swear if my cat can't figure out that he needs to walk down stairs to go pee, then I don't know what I am going to do.
He pees in my damn BED! HOW GROSS is THAT??
I don't like it.
THAT is exactly why I didn't want a cat.
But I got one. One that can't find its liter box when he is upstairs.
I guess I need to have 2 places for him to go.
Idiot cat.
Pets are such a hassle. Why do we bother?
Boredom.
When I am bored I entertain myself by buying an animal?
Or hey lets have a CHILD!
I am bored, lets go buy another baby!!

And another way I don't like to wake up is by the sound of my husband huffing and puffing over the laundry hamper.
I mean is there a problem?
Need some clean clothes?
Really?
How come?
I didn't really ask any of those questions.
But I just layed in bed and pretended to be asleep.

Then he left for work and didn't even kiss me goodbye.
FINE!
Then the cat pee pee in the bed.
Today is turning out super fucking duper!

All up in the KOOL_AIDE!

But it seems that I don't know the flavor.
Looks like cherry to me.
But I probably am wrong.
Usually I am.

Today I am going to church with me grandma.

She has been in the hospital for like 2 months.

The 1st Sunday that she was in the hospital she asked me to please go anyways so people would ask me about her and I could relay that she was in the hospital and such.

Well that was a disaster.

In my head at least.

I drove away from the church at least twice.
But in the end I went in all by myself cause I started to feel guilty since she asked me to go.

Well, know one spoke to me.
But the preist.
He seemed to be staring right at me the whole time.
I felt as if he could see right through me.
I didn't belong there without my grandma.

I was so uncomfortable.
Maybe the fact that I smoked a lil' grass before I went did not help.
But I am JUST KIDDING!
I would never do that!

So the parish probably thinks my grandma died.
But today she has risen.

I like going to church.

I like looking at all the families.

I imagine what they are like outside of church.

And everyone always sits in the same spot.

I wonder if our spot is taken?



Anyways,

I am not very religious but sometimes it seems like things would be easier if I was.

I WANT IT ALL!

Ow!

Seether is neither loose nor tight.
Seether is neither black nor white.
I tried to keep her on a short leash,
I tried to calm her down.
I tried to ram her into the ground, yeah.

Can't fight the seether
I can't see her till I'm foaming at the mouth.

Seether is neither big nor small.
Seether is the center of it all.
I tried to rock her in my cradle,
I tried to knock her out,
I tried to cram her back in my mouth, yeah.

Can't fight the seether
I can't see her till I'm foaming at the mouth.

Keep her down, boiling water,
Keep her down, what a lovely daughter.
Oh, she is not born like other girls,
But I know how to conceive her.
Oh, she may not look like other girls,
But she's a snarl-toothed seether, seether!

Can't fight the seether

I can't see her till I'm foaming at the mouth
Seether
I can't see her till I'm foaming at the mouth, yeah.




Willy Wonka has been on in my house non-stop yesterday and today.
It makes me want some candy real bad.

SCARY

I feel all creeped out lately.
I can't publish anything.
so just forget it.

Blogging may possibly be THE LAMEST THING EVER!

Just a bunch of words that really mean nothing. BLAH BlAh BhlA!
But still I read and still I type.
Wasting time.
But what for?
Is it even fun?
Do I really even enjoy reading other peoples bullshit?
Do I really even enjoy typing my bullshit?
No.
I would rather be real.
And this blog that you lay your bright eyes upon is not in the least bit "REAL"!
FAKE!
FAKE AM I!
You will never ever ever know the real.
That is all mine.
Not this SHIT BLOG INTERNET PIECE OF CRAP!

And HEY doesn't my blog look frecken TIGHT!?
Yeah.
You know it does.

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

Janet and I are truly blessed,
WE are the cool kids.
We can always find the angle.
Keeps us on our toes.



Pardon me but Drew had a KICK ASS DAY!
He got away from his lunatic mother,
swam with a purple noodle, and played some cards.
I do believe Crayola owes me some money.



The Sureal Life and The Real World are the essence of quality T.V.!
Thank you TIVO!
Oh and I am going to go eat some Rice Krispies!
With lots of sugar!! That is how I stay so sweet.

JUST DON'T STAND THERE LIKE AN ASSHOLes

Why does the world have to be filled with people who are just ASSHOLes?

They are everywhere.

Granted YES YES I can be an asshole of one kind or another. But usually for good reason.

And usually directed towards a specific person.

Not much random assholeness going on in me.

At least I hope not.

But these people who work in fast food restaurants and banks and other places that people have no choice but to interact really should wake up and realize that THEY are the ones setting the tone for other peoples day.

Not to mention their own.

SO PUT A MOTHER EFFING SMILE ON YOUR FAT FACE when you greet me.

When you ask for my order, or whatever other business I may be conducting.

Don't just stand there and act like a BLOB OF NOTHINGNESS!

It really frustrates me.

Maybe it is because I have not had a "real" job in awhile and I have forgotten all the bullshit that comes along with that.

But still lets just try to be pleasant and friendly and remember that we really are in control of other peoples day.

And one FRECKEN smile goes a long way.

I guess.

I don't know.

I just want some good service.

Service with a FUCKINsmile.