narrow-minded

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME! The VMAs are tonight! And I am 1 cm. such a life.
Yesterday I threw together a yard sale and made 30 BUCKS! I have a larger than life TV I'd like to sell and its in my garage. stufoid thing. NO body NOT anybody wanted it.
Had to stand in the desert in 105 degree heat waiting for my sons soccer coach to arrive for PICTURES. HE fucking told us 1 pm but HE didnt show till 1:50. ISnt that the rudest shitbag of a thing? yes Kathryn it is. SOOO let me tell you, he arrived and just walked on by like he is something famous and we all should just follow. WHICH WE DID...then I say where is our banner CAUSE I see that he has NO BANNER in his dirtbag hands. AND HE says with his dickface " whats important? THe KIDS or THE banner?? whats it about? THe kids or the banner?"
WHAT the hell? Anyways, my point was that we all paid for the banner and its PICTURE DAY and every other team is prepared and standing around with their coaches under an umbrella WITH their awesome banners waiting for their photo opportunity.
SO I sorta whisper called him an asshole. NOT too loud BUT he knew.
SOOOOOOooo HE walks his stupid butt over to me and says, " We have to talk about positive attitudes" AND I SAY something like my positive attitude left my body after standing outside in this god forsaken HEAT for 50+ min and where was HE!? andwhere is our banner? AND HE accused me of being JEALOUS.
I had to walk away.
THAT is the basic gist of the scene. give or take.
BOTTOMLINE, asshole.
We have had him as a coach before and looks like not much has change except his arrogance has tripled and so has my waist size.
You should tell me your opinion on this.
my moms new kitty since her old black cat died. Her name is Sabrina.
I would have liked to see her name be MATILDA or Dorthy.
I am gonna go into active labor anyday now.

yellow model chick

well, friends and family, I indulged in some wine the other night. Like an entire bottle. Not a HUGE JUG or BOX or anything but a bottle. Don't judge me. or do. I DONT GIVE A FUuuuck.
Gonna paint the baby room today, and stuff.
Paint is way over priced. Bottom line.
Last night while on a bike ride I saw a license plate that read "PJLUVDJ".
AFter the bike ride there was an attempt to take a walk around the block BUT 1/4 of the way I thought I was gonna crap my pants! soooo I had to speed walk back home to save myself from using the bathrm in some dark corner of your yard.... SO YOURE WELCOME!
that was exciting.
Baby shower this weekend and I am expecting a lousy turn out cause people are flakeY and have wayyyy better shit to do like stare at each other and go grocery shoppn for eggs and bread and other crucial things like gas up their cars.
Plus I don't know many people.
THe other day I was FORCED to make my oatmeal on the stove and came to the realization that I prefer it that way so thats what I do now.

whisper shit in your ear

that lost and confused lil hummingbird was trapped in mi casa a few weeks back and it was so EXCITING. I felt blessed by the experience. Was not even bothered that he caused me to be late for my spin class. more like refreshed.watching some Dane COok and he is KILLING ME right now. I've seen this shit like 100xs and its still just as funny. Seeny seen him in real lifey life front row actually. Kept us there till like 3 am! Very intimate setting. REMEMBER?!
He and LOUIS CK are my fav!
comedy is so comforting. An art really.
Major fuck up today. Bought my son a USED "call of duty" game for wii and he no likey and that PISSES me off BECAUSE I should not have bought the crap in the 1st place. SO WHY I ASK WHY DID I DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE? no good reason. ALready purchased an over abundance of fireworks today so what THE fuck ME.
ohwells calm down, it was only a twenty one dollar game including the tax.
who cares in the grand scheme of things? you can't care.
well see ya.

boy oh boy

Had some necessary dental work done since my last post. Gained some weight too! Haven't smoked the grass since like JANUARY and I am dying! no no I'm cool BUT I really could use a small contact high.
I've had a few glasses of wine and a few gulps of beer spread out here and there. SO FAR I've gained like 40 lbs and thats pretty fucking stupid considering how much I continue to exercise. Only like 71 more days and I'll be sorta back to normal. Smoking blunts and getting drunk. Joking.
Personally I believe that my blood type determines how much weight I gain.
Its all water, boobs and blood and oh yea, baby.
I'm gonna go play some mario kart now and then I'm gonna go outside to tan my enormous body.
love me.

All Soap Operas Can Go Away

Bitches be crazy. Mostly THIS bitch right HERE. HI! Me.
SO lets just say don't fuck with me. I will cut you. HAHA so cliche.
My neck hurts from all the anger I am carrying inside my head. Heavy shit.
LET GO.
Even when I try to let go IT holds on. People are such assholes.
I guess I am too.
I don't wanna complain.
YEsterday was cool at one point cause there was a Hummingbird IN my house! It was very exciting. Lil bird flying around my upstairs and landing on this and that, looking around all adorable like. Finally the sweet bird found his way out the door. I said "GOODBYE! I love YOU" as it disappeared. Later in the day while sitting in the sun I THINK I saw him again, but two big black birds scared it away. for the best I suppose.
I'm hoping the hummingbird was a good sign and I am sure it is. New beginnings.
Maybe I should nap, and wake up with a new attitude. AN EASY BREAZY ATTITUDE.
SUmmer can start any day now.
love.

are you ready? I think so

I am pregnant.
22 weeks and 4 days today. Been SUPER over emotional these past 2 days, ANYTHING and I MEAN EVERYTHING makes me cry. Thats the most annoying thing, not being able to get a grip... that and my big butt and thighs BUT its all temporary. AS IS MY TIME IN THIS LIFE. ON THIS PLANET. SO I hear.
Just ate a strawberry shortcake w EXTRA whip cream IN BED.
Last night I dreamt of a HORSE. A rented horse I was using to get around town and it got sick and tired so I had to carry the thing around, and I was nervous that the HORSE would kick me in my face. I felt so sad for the sick horse. WOke up w the feeling that I knew the horse. Took me a minute to fully realize that it was all just a dream. A fucking weird horse dream. NEVER before have a dreamt of a horse.
Today I saw a horse fly. Those things are nasty and mean.
ANyways, I just wanted to blog real quick to document and share.
Life flies by so fast you don't have time to do all the shit you want.
Technical shit. NEW AGE SHIT. passes by without you if you don't pay attention.
Happy cinco de mayo, means nothing to me but I wish it did.

Uneasy Ladybugs

When it comes to shooting I am a sissy la-la. Fearful that I will somehow, someway lose all control and shoot something or SOMEONE I shouldn't. A GUN is a serious, powerful thing. So I have trouble pulling the trigger, and my trigger finger is weak. A purple gun with an easy trigger is what I need. ANYWAYS I wish I wasn't so chicken.
On to the next subject.
While running some Saturday errands I forgot to pick up TEA BAGS for my gramma and cottage CHEESE for me.
Cottage cheese is the BOMB! Throw in some pears or pineapple and BOOM POW! Color me satisfied.
My gramma and I don't get along too well. Its to the point where I can't even make eye contact with her.
Whats that about? Makes me feel like a failure. SO I am considering seeking some professional help concerning this relationship... I actually have a number of issues that could benefit from professional help BUT this is the one issue I feel comfortable talking to a stranger about. Genuinely thinking about contacting some therapist. To be totally honest I just want my gramma to go away. Admitting that out loud causes me to feel really shitty about that feeling and the thoughts revolving around that. BUT fuck man she is always stirring the SHIT around here, walking around with her walker and oxygen hose, sighing and getting angry when I do anything without her. When you LIVE with your gramma its VERY, VERY different then a weekly, " HI. How are you?" or a, "happy to see you" visit. CAtch my drift? can you understand??? AND when she sneezes she can't just sneeze once or twice she has to sneeze 200 times in a row. I KID YOU NOT.
enough. I've said too much. maybe not enough.
Death is so amusing isn't it. THe way it teases us and the way it sneaks up on us with no warning.
A young mother in my community died suddenly and tragically last week. A mother of 5 young children.
I can't understand it and I guess I am not meant to.
Devastating earthquake yesterday too. Hope this fault never goes off.
BUT HEY Spring is making its way into our lives and thats a positive thing! Time change and all that.
Flowing dresses and flip flops. Budding flowers and trees and baby birds.

just a thought

Girl Scout cookies come at THE WORST TIME! UGH really little girls w lil bows and ribbon in your hair!??! WHY!? WHY must you sell these little, tiny, calorie, sugary, CARB filled THINGS @ 4 $'s a BOX NO LESS!? stupid bitches to be. SLUTS EVEN.
I was a brownie and I am sure when IIIIIIII sold them THEY were LESS EXPENSIVE AND LESS POISON PACKED! and I BET you got MORE for your buck and LESS lard for your ass.
SO yeah your welcome people of the 80's and NO I never moved up to be a Girl Scout COS I lost interest.
SURPRISE SURPRISE.
BUT no no I rant.
sometimes like a raving lunatic, I can go on and on for hours EVEN DAYS about something or someone.
I ate shitty today. SAturdays have that effect on me. but HA! HA! FUCK YOU SATURDAY SUNDAY IS COMING AND THEN MONDAY!
In your FACE. DICK FUCKER.
I don't know why I am so angry. Maybe the weather? Maybe my mom and your mom and the world has me alllll jumbled and discombobulated. Blaming others for my attitude is what I do best. THAT and eat crap. Its what we as the people do. I believe aliens read my blog from outer space/ far away in another galaxy and then THEY do reports and research papers ON IT.
on us.
But I'll be ok.
I think it would be super dope to get a cool and pretty license plate for my car.
MAybe the one with the PALM TREES so I can REP the beach cause I love you beach and I hate the everything else.

I am the captain and this is my shrine.

In like 2 hrs I am gonna be in heaven cause I am gonna BE EATING! hip hip yay for food, and sleep.
BLTA croissant sandwich is the the plan and NO FRIES. I WILL NOT HAVE FRIES. Fruit instead. I think. BUT I change my mind a lot. ANd fries are delicious and yeah.
SORRY I have decision making trouble. I am pretty sure I am just a human, with all the same doubts and agitation.
HUMAN BEING here.
Rotten bananas are in my kitchen and I really don't want to waste them so I better A) FREEZE THEM or B) make something with them.
Banana cupcakes? bread? more food deliberating happening. I promise thats ALL I think about. Food and love. Love and food. Normal human clutter.
I even delight in studying menus online. SOME have to be downloaded and I find that MOST ANNOYING. Its natural. my porn.
Being a food critic would be so AWESOME. Everyone can agree with that.
OKAY BESIDES my NEXT meal I am also looking forward to watching JERSEY SHORE tonight, BEST REALITY SHOW EVER.
I love Pauly D. who doesn't?
Justin Bieber is another celebrity I LOVE. Its natural. Saw his movie and IT WAS GOOD. Cried a lot through it. I am emotional. I am person who feels things DEEPLY. A deeply feeling person. Remember in the movie Beaches when Bette Midler says that in her interview??? That was funny and I am trying to be funny now. Not so sure it always comes across the way I want so I find myself explaining in more detail but then that even is WRONG. WHY bother???
watch this awesome video. FUCKING AWESOME MOVIE, seen it like 500 x's and I AM NOT KIDDING.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT NOBODY CARES

Kathryn ate wayyy too much cherry coca cola w LUNCH and is about to EXPLODE all over the place.
What A MESSSS I have become and am continuing to become and will always be.
BUT YEAH I'd like to take a brief moment here on this blog and announce that some people need to STOP thinking that the world cares.
WE DO NOT CARE about your boring crap LIKE Your bills, your paperwork, your ass or your cousins cousin from Wichita or Maine. Where the fuck ever. I dont even pay attn ALL I do know is that you annoy me.
Unless you are traveling abroad to NEW, fascinating and exotic places you need to get off your high horse.
6 am this morning I came to realize the FACT that I had NO more white bread and everything went sour from there.
WEll, 11 oclock am till about noon 30 was ok but THAT has passed and NOW IS NOW and NOW is this.
This is just for fun.